Annoying Kids

[HenRick]

I have constantly have seen younger kids that are spoiled and really need a spaking
or discipline yet they don't receive it.

Like for example. My little cousin always intimidates and hits people.
He always makes my sister (who is ISFJ like my dad) cry. He's 5 and
she is 9! He throws rocks at me so I stop him from getting any more
rocks. He starts crying so his Dad(ISTP) his brother (ENTJ), and my grandma
lets him have his way all the time.

He is funny and charming but when he's not he really needs discipline.
He is always saying I don't care when I give him a lecture.

My dad (ISFJ) does agree with me and often convices the others when his dad isn't around
to not let him have his way.

Theres also this little girl who chokes the dogs to death and also make my sister cry because
of she doesn't really care about other peoples feeling sometimes. She always with her mom
who also doesn't discipline her.

My other cousin was raised the same way yet he grew up fine.
I wonder if the kids will be able to grow up the right way since there parents don't seem of
much help in disciplining them.

 

[Motor Jax]

have them pick on the biggest, meanest bully at school... and get the crap beat out of 'em... they'll learn...

or just throw them in the closet, throw in some cheese crackers and shut the door


... or you can have a word with their parents about their unruliness...

 

[HenRick]

I would love to do that to them but,
The parents would find out about the closet thing. I'm not really involved in his school, and
his mom is rough but, it's his dad that he spends the most time with and he always says stuff
like it's his age or just finds something better for him to do. His dad tries to avoid the
problem or he finds a bad answer to it.

Maybe he will get better as he gets older. If he doesn't....let's just say that his cry won't work :twisted:

 

[Satya]

Discipline is a state of mind in which one recognizes there are consequences for their behavior and acts accordingly. The children you mention do not sound like they are aware of or care about those consequences and the result is they will not change their behavior. I will tell you that punishment is an ineffective consequence to impose. People will simply learn to alter their behavior just enough to avoid getting caught or they will develop the manipulative skills to avoid punishment altogether. There are methods to effectively teach children the consequences of their behavior without invoking punishment, but you have to be in a position of authority over them to do so. And as long as others will tolerate their behavior, there is no possibility of applying those methods. Sadly, this sounds like a situation in which an outside authority will eventually have to intervene one day. By then, it may be too late.

You best course of action would be to focus on the parents and making them aware that there is a problem.

 

[Silently Honest]

Gain there respect. If you can't do that then don't bother comprimising with the little buggers, you are the adult, and you are in charge.

 

[Shai Gar]

That first kid makes me cringe in remembering my adolescence, rather similar.
Unfortunately in australia we cannot discipline children anymore, it's against the law.

 

[Satya]

That first kid makes me cringe in remembering my adolescence, rather similar.
Unfortunately in australia we cannot discipline children anymore, it's against the law.

Eh? How so?

 

[ulan_bat0r]

That first kid makes me cringe in remembering my adolescence, rather similar.
Unfortunately in australia we cannot discipline children anymore, it's against the law.

Well same here, discipline with violence there is. And thank god for that...

Violence is the last resort of the incompetent...

 

[Shai Gar]

That first kid makes me cringe in remembering my adolescence, rather similar.
Unfortunately in australia we cannot discipline children anymore, it's against the law.

Well same here, discipline with violence there is. And thank god for that...

Violence is the last resort of the incompetent...

You cannot explain to a small child that sticking a metal thing into a power point is bad. What you can do is associate the attempt with a smack, which is pain. After they grow up a little they'll figure out why they were hit, and told NO! If they cannot figure it out, then they should have been allowed to stick a pin into a power point.

Violence is a tool that is neither good nor bad, but can be utilised for either.

 

[ulan_bat0r]

That first kid makes me cringe in remembering my adolescence, rather similar.
Unfortunately in australia we cannot discipline children anymore, it's against the law.

Well same here, discipline with violence there is. And thank god for that...

Violence is the last resort of the incompetent...

You cannot explain to a small child that sticking a metal thing into a power point is bad. What you can do is associate the attempt with a smack, which is pain. After they grow up a little they'll figure out why they were hit, and told NO! If they cannot figure it out, then they should have been allowed to stick a pin into a power point.

Violence is a tool that is neither good nor bad, but can be utilised for either.

you may not be able to explain it, but it is possible for the human race to show fear and express anger without using the fist. It might be avant garde for some, but what the heck... we have to start somewhere.

I never received a good ol' slappin' when i was a kid, and i was on the urge to do a lot of stupid things. Im 100% sure that the desperate cries of my mom, when she told me not to fucking walk on that road that is full of cars just waiting to kill me, - made an impression to me. Even if i was to young to "understand it". Im still afraid of that road, when i think of it.

 

[Shai Gar]

I'd prefer being smacked to having to listen to my mum scream in fear, a few hits after attempting to walk on the road without looking both ways is better than being embarrassed by my mother.

 

[ulan_bat0r]

I'd prefer being smacked to having to listen to my mum scream in fear, a few hits after attempting to walk on the road without looking both ways is better than being embarrassed by my mother.

Thats EXACTLY why it works.

 

[HenRick]

That first kid makes me cringe in remembering my adolescence, rather similar.
Unfortunately in australia we cannot discipline children anymore, it's against the law.

I think it's also against the law in the US but my parents just said they would kick me out if
I did try to get them sued or something. I usually deserved the punishments.

By the way does anyone feel really good when a kid does get what he deserves?

 

[ulan_bat0r]

By the way does anyone feel really good when a kid does get what he deserves?

No, it just makes me wanna vomit. I think its sickening that grown up people learn their kids that violence is a valid solution to any problem. Just the other day i saw a mother (some tourists on the tram) slap her daughter because she wanted the daughters seat. It was a really good slap in the face as well. By the look of the daughters eyes, it certainly looked like she was looking forward to the day she could put a double barred shotgun into the mother's mouth and blow her head of.

As you might understand, i don't think violence of good for anything than breeding even more violence and hate. Its one of the things that bothers me the most in life.

 

[HenRick]

By the way does anyone feel really good when a kid does get what he deserves?

No, it just makes me wanna vomit. I think its sickening that grown up people learn their kids that violence is a valid solution to any problem. Just the other day i saw a mother (some tourists on the tram) slap her daughter because she wanted the daughters seat. It was a really good slap in the face as well. By the look of the daughters eyes, it certainly looked like she was looking forward to the day she could put a double barred shotgun into the mother's mouth and blow her head of.

As you might understand, i don't think violence of good for anything than breeding even more violence and hate. Its one of the things that bothers me the most in life.

Yeah I guess your right.
I was thinking of like he does something bad do it to him to see if he learns that it's bad. I guess
I'm probably wrong.

Well how would you teach your kid to discipline. What if he's one of the many types of kids
that lectures don't work or they don't even care about disapointing them. Would you just
do stuff like not let him or her not go to the movies while everyone else goes as a lesson.

You could hurt him emtionally but like all punishments it has to be reasonable and not to
bad.

Discipline is a state of mind in which one recognizes there are consequences for their behavior and acts accordingly. The children you mention do not sound like they are aware of or care about those consequences and the result is they will not change their behavior. I will tell you that punishment is an ineffective consequence to impose. People will simply learn to alter their behavior just enough to avoid getting caught or they will develop the manipulative skills to avoid punishment altogether. There are methods to effectively teach children the consequences of their behavior without invoking punishment, but you have to be in a position of authority over them to do so. And as long as others will tolerate their behavior, there is no possibility of applying those methods. Sadly, this sounds like a situation in which an outside authority will eventually have to intervene one day. By then, it may be too late.

You best course of action would be to focus on the parents and making them aware that there is a problem.

So... There maybe nothing you can do.
I can't think of a better way to actually teach them.

 

[Motor Jax]

i can think of a few ways...

 

[Entyqua]

In today's society the parents ability to discipline their children effectively is seriously tainted...When a child can tell their parent "If you hit me I will call child services and you will go to jail" What the hell! Seriously why are they giving the power to the children? Because we want our country to be run by these out of control kids...I don't agree with striking a child unless its a means to an end...And there are some children that seriously NEED a good smack on the mouth...(or toochy whichever) I witnessed my cousin do this to my Father (my parents have custody of him) He called my mom a bitch so my dad goes to pop him in the mouth so he says he will call DCFS on him My dad told him here's the phone good luck finding a foster home where you have it as good. Little jerk didn't call.

Anyway just my two cents

 

[Flavus Aquila]

Whenever I am around small kids (not that often) they always start trying to climb all over me, or to hang from my neck, or will hold onto my leg so I can't walk properly.

If they weren't so cute, it would be bloody annoying. Kids can get away with way too much with me.



(For non-Australians, Bloody is know as the "Great Australian Adjective" - it basically just means "very").

 

[WickedPod]

Spanking is not necessarily violence. There's a big difference. Some parents take spanking to a level that IS violent. My mom spanked us, but it was by no means violent. It was actually sometimes amusing. Our dad hurt...bad. And he use psych-outs like making the belt make that whipping sound as he walked down the hallway to get us. My mom taught us shame and respect. My brothers and I were spanked as children, but I can count on my hands how many times I was spanked. My mother never spanked in anger. My dad did sometimes, but he's also an alcoholic, so that didn't help matters. I learned that I didn't want my mom to be ashamed of me, so I didn't behave badly or act out. It still works on me to this day. You shouldn't spank if it doesn't work, though. Nothing worked on my brother...well, not much anyway. None of us ever acted out in public, that's for damn sure. My parents acheived that by being consistent and firm. And by using fear. LOL My mom would point out a kid at the store that was pitching a fit, grab our arm, draw us close and, behind clenched teeth, say,"if you EVER do what that kid is doing over there, I will cram my fist down your throat." We believe her. She never did it, but we were certain she would have. Dad would tell us if we acted out, we were going straight home and getting a whoopin'. We believed him. He never had to do it. If you don't establish authority, respect, and are consistent it's never going to work.

Those kids you speak of are the norm nowadays. Great. It's because some people that were disciplined as children found it unfair, are not mature enough to realize it WAS fair (most of the time), and decide they won't ever be that way to their own children. It's immature people becoming parents. Trust me, it isn't easy to hurt your own child, unless you're a sadistic asshole. I've spoken to many parents about it and they always say that their heart breaks when it gets to that point and some even cry after they do it.

 

[Lambie]

As a former (very badly) misbehaving child myself, seeing children misbehave really gets to me. I have very low tolerance for it, probably because I regret my behavior and how it hurt others.

On the other hand, I remember all the various ways my parents tried to deal with me and how it affected me. I was given corporal punishment and it only ended up making me hate my father, the issuer of said punishment, for years. (Thankfully, we're now very close).

I think as overused as the idea seems, the root of most misbehavior is the need for attention, and focusing on giving attention for positive behavior rather than negative is the best way to encourage the good and decrease the bad.

It's definitely hard when the primary caregiver takes such a passive stance, but unless the child is absolutely rotten, I think those behaviors, while annoying at present, will eventually be outgrown. My behavior was worse than annoying but I got over mine