David Nelson
Permanent Fixture
An INFJ romantically interested would not become distant in my estimation. In fact quite the opposite, they are more likely to over contact you. What specifically makes you think he's an INFJ?
This question is for you INFJs, how one can differentiate when you're just being nice or you like someone romantically?
Very interesting. For me, as an INFJ, being understood by another in a deep way is one of the most desirable things in life. I know most people could say the same, but because INFJs have such depth that many cannot see, it’s much greater a need for us than most. It reduces our sense of alienation for one. I bet he is very attracted to you.Well, without being an expert, I'm going to try to list the reasons why I think my crush is an INFJ:
First of all, keep in mind that I am an ENFJ. I have a special gift for capturing personality and understanding and empathizing with other people's feelings. I've always been like this and that has influenced my life, even directing my professional career along paths I didn't plan on.
Well, he is a lot like me in that, he is very intelligent, analytical, perceptive, empathetic, profound in his analysis, he is extremely diplomatic, he is a born mediator, he always tries to make everyone feel understood and important. I can't give you more details but part of our job involves having those qualities and that is why we both do the same thing.
When we met I had the feeling that we connect very quickly, sometimes we understand each other with a look or at least I feel that. He is able to read me with amazing ease, but so am I, although he may not realize it so much because my extroversion sometimes makes me seem somewhat innocent, but I'm not.
And I know perfectly well that he is an introvert, he doesn't like to go out much, he doesn't like parties and noisy places, but he is sensitive to music and he likes interesting conversations. He likes to talk to me about his feelings, but without talking about them explicitly, in an indirect way but that I immediately understand. Sometimes he looks at me intensely as if trying to read my deepest feelings, I keep looking at him mischievously and I think that he likes it and it disconcerts him at the same time. I smile a lot and I know he likes it, he told me. He secretly takes pictures of me and then he mischievously sends them to me. We play to like each other but we both know it's just a game…or was it? I don’t know anymore...
The point is that in some ways we are very similar but I am very outgoing and he’s more silent and reflective. I have always been attracted to strange and eccentric introverts, always, they are like a magnet of sweetness and mystery for me. They bring me balance and calm to the permanent effervescence that bubbles in me, I adore peculiar and eccentric people, they fascinate me, I want to discover them, get to know them, delve into them and at the same time I love to disconcert them when they realize that there is another human being capable of reading and understanding them and who is also capable of expressing their feelings and affections so openly and without fear.
By the way, he is older than me, about 10 or 11 years, even so I think that the generational difference is hardly noticeable or I do not perceive it.
Thanks for reading me.
@lostENTP are you really looking for a resolution? .
I really feel for you and hope things will resolve themselves. Sometimes there is no option but to wait for time, wind and waves to carry away all the complications - they very often do eventually, even when every course of action has sharp regret.A resolution would lead me to the unsolvable problem of losing something I love
I’m just going to leave this here:
and it happened
...
he has opened to me in a way I wasn't expecting
...
it is just happening
...
the universe has decided that we should find each other
...
there is a hidden fire burning and healing my soul at the same time.
The fact that you are so eager to explain this as something that happened rather than a choice you made makes me wonder if you feel guilty or regretful about cheating on your husband.
Indeed, there are cultural dimensions to consider here. I apologize if I made any incorrect assumptions.We didn't cheat on our spouses, we haven't cheated, we found each other and connected in many ways. Maybe we come from different cultures and have different perspectives of what means "cheat"—feeling attraction to other people while being married means you cheating? If you don't act on it, you are not cheating but of course, this is my personal point of view. There are cultures that believe that women should be totally covered by a burka and if they don't do it they are adulterers committing a crime and others believe that polygamy is natural. Moral judgments are just a reflection of your culture but could not be always objective.
I took this to mean that you and this man have become romantically involved, even though not physically.now our closeness, trust, bond, attraction is more than real, and now we really know that we have hopelessly fallen with each other, no need words, but we both know it. We both have the feeling that we are so similar, soulmates?
I took this to mean that you and this man have become romantically involved, even though not physically