Adult High School | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Adult High School

This forum is more like what pubs and cafes used to be: a place to hang out with friends and new acquaintances, and have some familiar and random conversations. You learn some stuff, you share some stuff, and you have a lot of fun.

The schools I went to were much more formal.
 
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This forum is always interesting. I've been kicking around since 2009. I think what [MENTION=1814]invisible[/MENTION] said is right - some of us have seen each other go through huge personal events and growth. I would argue most of us are not the same people we were when we arrived here. I always thought of the forum as a safe space. Some people abuse the "safe space" and push boundaries more than is necessary. Some people are a bit too PC for my liking. There's always enough balance in personalities and personality types that it keeps evolving. Some people just never fit in here at all and it's usually their own fault. Anyone who has been excommunicated from the forum was given a LOT of chances to redeem themselves but just weren't interested in "behaving" even at a very, VERY low standard.

Anyway. I wouldn't necessarily compare it to High School but there are absolutely "cliques" and groups of people that only revolve around each other's posts. You see it mostly in the blogging section which I think is perfectly fine and normal. The blog section is where people can go to truly express themselves and have an open space just for them and what they want to share. The rest of the forum is... Well... Whatever you want to make of it. If you post in the open forum then people can treat you as subjectively as they like so long as it doesn't break the rules where the blogging sections is more like a sacred space where the unspoken rule is "if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all."

The open forum sometimes goes through phases of being a total chaotic shithole and other times it is really quite pleasant. There are ALWAYS going to be certain people that don't get along. It's not even anything personal. It's just that sometimes people here can be a lot like oil and water and don't know how to step away from each other sometimes. It can be like that in high school, too. Or anywhere.
 
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The more intensely that a new member tries to involve themselves in every conversation at the outset, the more polarizing that can be depending upon their style of interaction. It's not right or wrong, it's just the reality of it. Any sizeable social community can be compared to high school, but that may not be the most useful analogy.
 
Artisan said:
nope I havent, but introverts do have a more difficult time to connect even with other introverts, because you're more inclined to recognise eachother and respect eachothers space. Thus you won't quickly run into an introvert who is also an infj. I for one have not met any, though I've met several INFP's and I think they're awesome. With INTJ's and INTP's its usually a, theyre alright or not my type of crowd feeling for me. Add to that that the majority in my country of residence appears to be extroverted and you can pretty easily see the handfull of people who are introverted though usually they're not NF's. I also do a direction that is primarily dominated by men, who seem less prone to be NF's. I always get along really well with those I do come across though but they're always INFP's when they take the test :p
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Thanks for giving me another chance. Sorry for being too intense. It is hard to control sometimes. I can change.
 
SpecialEdition said:
This forum is always interesting. I've been kicking around since 2009. I think what [MENTION=1814]invisible[/MENTION] said is right - some of us have seen each other go through huge personal events and growth. I would argue most of us are not the same people we were when we arrived here. I always thought of the forum as a safe space. Some people abuse the "safe space" and push boundaries more than is necessary. Some people are a bit too PC for my liking. There's always enough balance in personalities and personality types that it keeps evolving. Some people just never fit in here at all and it's usually their own fault. Anyone who has been excommunicated from the forum was given a LOT of chances to redeem themselves but just weren't interested in "behaving" even at a very, VERY low standard.

Anyway. I wouldn't necessarily compare it to High School but there are absolutely "cliques" and groups of people that only revolve around each other's posts. You see it mostly in the blogging section which I think is perfectly fine and normal. The blog section is where people can go to truly express themselves and have an open space just for them and what they want to share. The rest of the forum is... Well... Whatever you want to make of it. If you post in the open forum then people can treat you as subjectively as they like so long as it doesn't break the rules where the blogging sections is more like a sacred space where the unspoken rule is "if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all."

The open forum sometimes goes through phases of being a total chaotic shithole and other times it is really quite pleasant. There are ALWAYS going to be certain people that don't get along. It's not even anything personal. It's just that sometimes people here can be a lot like oil and water and don't know how to step away from each other sometimes. It can be like that in high school, too. Or anywhere.
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Great perspective. You should be a psychotherapist. You remind me of my psychiatrist who teaches at UCLA. Do you relate to Athena the goddess? You are level headed just like her. No drama here.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
This forum is more like what pubs and cafes used to be: a place to hang out with friends and new acquaintances, and have some familiar and random conversations. You learn some stuff, you share some stuff, and you have a lot of fun.

The schools I went to were much more formal.
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This forum also reminds me of open mics. Posting is like performing. Lurking is like observing.
 
Who here likes Romy and Michelle's high school reunion? I think I saw it like 10 times back in the 90's. Reunions are bizarre.
 
I haven't had the inkling to compare my experience on this forum to HS, and in my short time here I've found the existing members to be incredibly welcoming; more so than any other MBTI forum I've joined.

Like any forum or community there are clearly a number of long term members that have formed friendships over a common interest and years of communication. As previously mentioned they've all been incredibly inviting, and no one has made me feel like I'm an outsider or my presence here isn't welcome.

I do wish there was more discussion around cognitive theory and typology around the site. A lot of the threads in the INFJ or MBTI sub-forums are pretty fluffy. They're all fun though and I still think there's a lot of great insight and discussion in those threads. Plus there are lot of old threads with great info. I've also been trying to post more articles and stuff (which, self admittedly, have been fluffy as eff).

Also, of course there are members that butt heads here. What do you expect from a site intended for people of various personalities to post their opinion on something? To be honest I find the majority of miscommunication that happens around here has to do with others not understanding the tone of the original poster, which is easily done over written communication.

Side note: I also feel like an idiot for taking the time to reply to this thread.
 
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bolognamacaroni said:
I haven't had the inkling to compare my experience on this forum to HS, and in my short time here I've found the existing members to be incredibly welcoming; more so than any other MBTI forum I've joined.

Like any forum or community there are clearly a number of long term members that have formed friendships over a common interest and years of communication. As previously mentioned they've all been incredibly inviting, and no one has made me feel like I'm an outsider or my presence here isn't welcome.

I do wish there was more discussion around cognitive theory and typology around the site. A lot of the threads in the INFJ or MBTI sub-forums are pretty fluffy. They're all fun though and I still think there's a lot of great insight and discussion in those threads. Plus there are lot of old threads with great info. I've also been trying to post more articles and stuff (which, self admittedly, have been fluffy as eff).

Also, of course there are members that butt heads here. What do you expect from a site intended for people of various personalities to post their opinion on something? To be honest I find the majority of miscommunication that happens around here has to do with others not understanding the tone of the original poster, which is easily done over written communication.

Side note: I also feel like an idiot for taking the time to reply to this thread.
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Why? It was a good reply.
 
dang said:
Great perspective. You should be a psychotherapist. You remind me of my psychiatrist who teaches at UCLA. Do you relate to Athena the goddess? You are level headed just like her. No drama here.
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I used to want to be a therapist. Instead I am a Life Transformation Coach.
 
the said:
I thought you were a weightlifting coach?
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Oh, no I don't actually coach that. I don't have an interest in coaching it. I am still only a novice at lifting and I don't think it is something that any random should be helping people with lol.
 
SpecialEdition said:
Oh, no I don't actually coach that. I don't have an interest in coaching it. I am still only a novice at lifting and I don't think it is something that any random should be helping people with lol.
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How did you get into life coaching and what are your qualifications?
 
the said:
How did you get into life coaching and what are your qualifications?
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I knew I wanted to be a therapist when I was in high school so built a lot of my education around that including my post secondary. However, I found that the regimented nature of psychotherapy and the move to just medicate people instead of help them was a huge turn off especially since when I saw a professional their first thought was to dose me with SSRI's and made me suicidal. Other therapists tried to convince me to go on meds to "give my body a break."

Anyway. I started looking into life coaching in 2013. What I've found is that there's NO regulations, NO governing body, NO qualifications needed UNLESS you are trying to get into something at a very high end level like executive or business coaching. In that case I would encourage people to actually know about business and HR and things of that nature so they can actually coach these executives and help them meet their organizational goals.

In my case there are no qualifications required. But because I like titles and fancy designations when I get 300 hours of paid coaching experience I can apply for my Master Coach designation through the International Coaching Federation which is as close to "official" as you can get in the coaching world at the moment. A lot of coaching schools will claim to give you everything you need to be an ICF member but they want 10k+ dollars to teach you basically how to talk to people, shift their perspective and help them make change. In my opinion there are people who need to learn those sorts of skills, and then there are people like me (and many people on this forum even!) who have a natural quality in their personality but also who have life experience in the areas people want coaching with.

I only started my practice after meeting tons of other women entrepreneurs at workshops and networking events who encouraged me to coach now, write my book now and get into public speaking now. My story is unique having once been fat, weak, depressed, agoraphobic, broke and in an abusive relationship and now my life is 100% awesome and I made it that way.

So unless you have an actual story that is worth something to people OR you have a piece of paper from a "school" that is not official, not regulated and not judged by a governing body (aka they can do whatever they want and charge whatever they want) then it's harder to coach.

TL;DR you don't need formal education for coaching because it does not exist.
 
[MENTION=5511]ruji[/MENTION] brings up some good points. You're rude and you're obnoxious. I reached out to you. Next thing I know you're being rude to me, which ended in you calling me names in one thread, and I had to tell you off, privately. You basically "bit the hand that fed you". That is not a good way to make friends, and instead of adjusting to the forum you keep bulldozing it. You keep asking people to accept you, but in return you're sort of a bully.
 
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Asa said:
[MENTION=5511]ruji[/MENTION] brings up some good points. You're rude and you're obnoxious. I reached out to you. Next thing I know you're being rude to me, which ended in you calling me names in one thread, and I had to tell you off, privately. You basically "bit the hand that fed you". That is not a good way to make friends, and instead of adjusting to the forum you keep bulldozing it. You keep asking people to accept you, but in return you're sort of a bully.
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Sorry for the misunderstanding. I never called you a name. Look at the post again. You misinterpreted it. He implied you were taking over my intro thread. I said in response that it seemed he was calling you a narcissist. Not me. If you should be annoyed with what was said in that thread it would be with him, not me. I never called you a narcissist. Why would I? You seem like the opposite of that. Reread the post and you will see that I never called you a name. You just misread my joke. I am 41. I have never been called a bully before in any context. Am I intense? Perhaps. Do I like to challenge people? Perhaps. Do I have an edgy sense of humor? Perhaps. Am I polarizing? Perhaps. That doesn't make me a bully. I don't intimidate anyone. It's funny how a few people think I am a creep, while the vast majority have been giving me a great deal of positive feedback. If I were in fact a bully, I think everyone would be saying so. But most people are saying that I should ignore the criticism. I would prefer to address it. I am sorry about our misunderstanding. I hope you can accept my apology. If you don't like me that is your prerogative. Just don't call me names which are inaccurate. If you want to say I am being strange I can live with that. Bully? No. I hate bullies. I'm the guy who sees bullies and protects their victims. This reminds me of Dirty Harry. He was very unpopular. But he was the only one who could kill Scorpio. He didn't care about being popular. He cared more about justice. And he got the job done. Perhaps there is a method to my madness. Your reaction always reveals deep seated issues. Why are you reacting to me this way? Do I remind you of someone you know? Do I remind you of you? Ponder these questions. I am only trying to help. Sometimes I unconsciously act like a gadfly. There are pros and cons to that. But my intentions are pure. You can contact someone I know like my mother if you want to (she's a sweetheart by the way). The way people are reacting to me here is bizarre. I just want to express myself, have some fun, learn, grow and connect. Is that so wrong? Sorry for the misunderstanding. Hopefully the past can be water under the bridge. What if Iggy Pop were on this forum? He would be banned within a day. Later.
 
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Sloe Djinn said:
The more intensely that a new member tries to involve themselves in every conversation at the outset, the more polarizing that can be depending upon their style of interaction. It's not right or wrong, it's just the reality of it. Any sizeable social community can be compared to high school, but that may not be the most useful analogy.
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Agreed.
 
You lash out at people, but then feign victimization and innocence when they speak up. It is manipulative. If you keep acting like you're the victim you can get away with treating people as poorly as you want.
 
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