A Life Without Dating | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

A Life Without Dating

I am at a place now where I am happy and content being single, and I know that it is the right choice for me at this stage in my life due to me having been in a very unhealthy, destructive relationship for so long. I am taking time for myself again. however, my ultimate dream in the future is to start a family and marry my best friend. It's not the time for that now, but I'm not letting go of the dream ever.
 
I think this every so often but I just end up back on tinder anyways.

This, however, I've not had any success with it. It has only shown me how shallow girls are, and how the ones so adamant about finding "the right guy" already have kids, which I simply won't do.

I resort to bars with friends, mingling. I haven't bothered with women lately but I'm sure it'll be a matter of time before some borderline psychopath attempts to drive me up a wall, only after I've been coerced by her sexual influence.
 
This, however, I've not had any success with it. It has only shown me how shallow girls are, and how the ones so adamant about finding "the right guy" already have kids, which I simply won't do.

I resort to bars with friends, mingling. I haven't bothered with women lately but I'm sure it'll be a matter of time before some borderline psychopath attempts to drive me up a wall, only after I've been coerced by her sexual influence.

Girls aren't shallow, they're human beings doing their best according to their circumstances, just like men. Men with flaws, just like you. Perhaps they think that a man is shallow, who doesn't want to know anything else about them just because they have a child?

Perhaps you would prefer to meet a psychopathic woman who will treat you badly, just so that you can keep on believing the unkind things that you say about women?

A high proportion of the posts you contribute to this forum is negative stuff about women. It appears that a woman has hurt you in your past. It's time to move beyond this anger and let go of your feelings of bitterness towards women.
 
Girls aren't shallow, they're human beings doing their best according to their circumstances, just like men. Men with flaws, just like you. Perhaps they think that a man is shallow, who doesn't want to know anything else about them just because they have a child?

Perhaps you would prefer to meet a psychopathic woman who will treat you badly, just so that you can keep on believing the unkind things that you say about women?

A high proportion of the posts you contribute to this forum is negative stuff about women. It appears that a woman has hurt you in your past. It's time to move beyond this anger and let go of your feelings of bitterness towards women.

Oh, please.

Dude, It's clear as day that I've offended you on multiple occasions with my intensity and opinions. With regard to attitude towards women, what I post on here is negligible at best. You are largely incorrect in your assessment of me.

I've no qualms with you, but this little apparent vendetta of yours isn't worth your energy.
 
Oh, please.

Dude, It's clear as day that I've offended you on multiple occasions with my intensity and opinions. With regard to attitude towards women, what I post on here is negligible at best. You are largely incorrect in your assessment of me.

I've no qualms with you, but this little apparent vendetta of yours isn't worth your energy.

OK, whatever.
 
I realise actually, that what I need to do is be less "largely incorrect". I need to be more "minorly incorrect". Or perhaps just even less completely "correct" than what I usually am.

And to resolve my tendency to develop a "vendetta", which is apparent by my craaaaazy predilection to take notice when someone is collectively calling women degrading names. Or characterising women as silly, or immoral, or psychopathic, or something.

Ummm, maybe tomorrow. Or maybe never! I surprise myself with all of my irrational, erratic thoughts and actions. But it's important because this is like really hurting my "energy". I get it and everything. I really do understand this, completely.
 
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This, however, I've not had any success with it. It has only shown me how shallow girls are, and how the ones so adamant about finding "the right guy" already have kids, which I simply won't do.

I resort to bars with friends, mingling. I haven't bothered with women lately but I'm sure it'll be a matter of time before some borderline psychopath attempts to drive me up a wall, only after I've been coerced by her sexual influence.

I occasionally enjoy "crazy" women, the "psychotic" ones, in the interest of hooking up. The sex is usually better when they don't have their lives together, but almost never do I allow them to get to know me on intimate levels out of the need for protection.

I haven't been into these types for the past several years because I've chosen to be celibate for personal reasons; but they seem to find me as the past has shown.

My choice to not raise a child other than my very own is mine; and I have values and an upbringing that I won't compromise or deviate from.

That being said, I am ecstatic in hopes to meet the right woman, one whom I can share a life with and grow alongside.
 
I've gotten to that age where the girls who got pregnant in high school, their kids are turning 18 and can move out. I'm hoping to cash in on those crazy girls from my high school days that I missed out on. I bet that pussy's fire.
 
You talk about women in this absolutely revolting and despicable way, as though they are not real people, and you don't even appear to know how to recognise how badly you talk about them. You understand that you have been previously banned for talking about them so badly but while you are no longer using the same vocabulary, your general attitude towards women is unchanged. I find it all both sad and infuriating, but I recognise and respect that ultimately it is your decision how you perceive and treat women. Good luck.
 
You talk about women in this absolutely revolting and despicable way, as though they are not real people, and you don't even appear to know how to recognise how badly you talk about them. You understand that you have been previously banned for talking about them.so badly but while you are no longer using the same vocabulary, your general attitude towards women is unchanged. I find it all both sad and infuriating, but I recognise and respect that ultimately it is your decision how you perceive and treat women. Good luck.

Again, you're proving the point I already made.

The girl in question, whom I gave a certain label, received a personal apology very shortly after it was written, and coincidentally, her and I have fantastic conversation on a regular basis.

For the record - The plain and obvious venting that I do on here are clearly tied to negative experiences - it's no secret. I am well aware of how I might be perceived. Those opinions expressed on here in context with a subject are not indications of how I treat women, not in the very least. Unfortunately, you don't see that, nor would you, unless you actually knew me, and you do not.

Think what you may over an internet message board. I feel sorry for how personally hurt you are with respect to others' venting of situations long passed. For someone to be "infuriated" over something on a message board that does not at all concern them, must be a sad little world to exist in. Maybe you have been raised in a fairy world to think that you must continually attempt to teach others a lesson on their expression of opinions, however misconstrued by the bias of your own experiences - that I don't know. However - the mind that perceives the limitation is the very limitation itself. May you find enlightenment, and godspeed in all of your endeavors.
 
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After opening up almost completely and not feeling 100% supported, I have decided that relationships are too painful and too stressful. Maybe it'll change sometime, and I hope it does sometime, but I'm very happy being single and focusing on myself.
 
After opening up almost completely and not feeling 100% supported, I have decided that relationships are too painful and too stressful. Maybe it'll change sometime, and I hope it does sometime, but I'm very happy being single and focusing on myself.

Amen.
 
I think if I had a male best friend who I trusted and cared for, and we could make it work, then I would go for it. Otherwise, I'd imagine myself alone for the rest of my life and be fine with it. It's not that I've sworn off dating but it gets tiring believing in rainbows if all you ever get is rain. So, even if I wanted to meet someone which makes me feel so uncomfortable just thinking about it, I'd rather be single and learn to live with myself one day at a time :D
 
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Word of advice to you INFJs out there. Maybe your partner isn't supposed to be your best friend/soul mate connected on all feasible levels. What you're describing is your love for yourself in an outward way against other people, and it comes off needy. (speaking from personal experience). Find someone you have common goals with, IE if you want to buy property and lay down roots and have children, make sure shes a dutiful mother and have at it. If you need someone to hang on your every move, get a dog, or have the kids. I think its unfair when I get with someone and she or I demand constant attention from one and other and I cant get anything else done. Then you ignore your whole life and social circle, its a bad move.

Differences are ok too, just figure out your minimal deal breakers and be flexible you silly geese
 
Just figure out your minimal deal breakers and be flexible you silly geese.

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#partyinthegaggle
 
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Could you ever see yourself living the rest of your life being permanently single?
Yeah.

No flings or anything. Sure, some friends of the opposite sex, but nothing intimate.
No, not that.

Why or why not?
I'm a red-blooded heterosexual man.

If you did live your life this way, how do you think you would be different?
I would suffer from lust more than I do.
 
if you don't date, your general skill of being a human being diminishes.

So a priest is more human when he's being dishonest?

:thinkinghard: