[PAX] - 6 type of toxic friends and how can you deal with them | INFJ Forum

[PAX] 6 type of toxic friends and how can you deal with them

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Roger, Jan 10, 2010.

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  1. Roger

    Roger ...

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    I have seen so many friendships breaking and torn in many ways. It hurts to people. Especially it is very important thing for someone.

    I want to let you know, just beware of such people:

    1. The Promise Breaker
    2. The Double-crosser
    3. The Self-absorbed
    4. The Discloser
    5. The Competitor
    6. The Fault-finder

    No. 1,2,6 will hurt you less and the rest of it, hurts very deeply.

    I would like to discuss on point no. 3,4 & 5. Lot of people are sticked here. Generally it is very easy to deal with point no 1,2&6. People can find out solution for it.

    Just i want to those who are hung in there...everyone wants peace in friendship with anybody. :)
    So start from here

    First of all hug from me :hug:
     
    #1 Roger, Jan 10, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2010
  2. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Unfortunate when this happens, but completely cutting ties is usually the best way to deal with a "toxic" person. It is something that I have had to do recently. It was not easy, since the person was a friend of mine for over six years. She had a ton of issues that she was not resolving, and myself, my family, and my boyfriend were getting dragged into it (Long story.)
     
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  3. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    number 3 is easy, they are so self absorbed that you can't make a good connection, so it is not very hurtful to end that relationship, hehe:becky:
     
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  4. slant

    slant Ruboobie

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    Please give a description for these types.

    They do not compute as they are stated.

    Perhaps how to identify them would also be helpful, and what problems they can cause, etc.

    Basically, just add more detail, because this thread really confused me.
     
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  5. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    What exactly is The Discloser? I'm having trouble with the Double-Crosser as well.
     
  6. Top cat

    Top cat Permanent Fixture

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    to doublecross someone means you betray them when they trust you^. backstabbing is another idea. two-timing etc. a friend one moment, enemy the next
     
    #6 Top cat, Jan 10, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2010
  7. OP
    Roger

    Roger ...

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  8. Top cat

    Top cat Permanent Fixture

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    No problem, Roger. Thank you! ^^


    I have met #4, 5, 2, and I'm currently on #3 lol.
    In the past 4 and 5 showed up as one person. 4 became a way to compete.
    Right now with #3 she has a bit of 5.

    I think #2 can be devastating.. and I have met both the type you can fix and the other you can't. I think 2 can come out of 5

    It just makes you think they are sort of breeding grounds. If they have one number, they can take on the form of another.




    Anyway my problem has been that I have confronted one as being self-absorbed (she only wants to talk about herself). And she has said sorry during that time. And now she has returned to her ways... I accidentally said Happy New Year to her a few days ago and also sent some nice pictures, and I have made her feel we are 'friends' again. Oops !! This is one of the mistakes I often make lol. I forget that I should be angry/upset.
    I also have another #5... He is the most on my mind because I can't understand him. I used to tell him about this strange person that bothered me in my school days. The person always copied everything I did, said they liked what I liked. And now he is doing the same with me... but I also have a suspicion it's his way of socializing. He also has a strange way of communicating. If I say something to him, he often just switches the words around and says it back to me (for small talk/greetings). He scored as ESFP but when I first asked him, he told me he was INFJ. I got very ..annoyed i guess, that he lied (@_@;;; I've been distancing myself
     
  9. OP
    Roger

    Roger ...

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    My friend, martel,

    You are talking about real life friends or online friends??

    Opinions depends on it too. You know that very well. :)
     
  10. Top cat

    Top cat Permanent Fixture

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    They are online, but the girl we met several times in person ^^ I wanted to write her story just as an example, and I am sure things will clear up soon

    I guess if it was in real life, the boy would make complete sense.
    :m187:
     
  11. OP
    Roger

    Roger ...

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    Off course if you think you need help to solve the problem and you consider yourself safe here and then you have mine request, please open it and we will help you.

    May happen you get some relief... Though it is your choice. :)
     
  12. Top cat

    Top cat Permanent Fixture

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    Do you mean create a new thread for it?

    Our friendship hasn't developed to the point where there is clear competition.. so he might not have anything to do with #1-6 in the end, but I'm not entirely sure.
     
  13. OP
    Roger

    Roger ...

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    Maetel, see, if you would like to share here, then you can. I want solutions and discussion related to be in this thread. Like to keep in one thread.
     
  14. Top cat

    Top cat Permanent Fixture

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    Oh okay then yes! :tinfoil3:
    for the boy


    Looks like all of my friends till now have been competitors (real or online).
     
    #14 Top cat, Jan 11, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2010
  15. OP
    Roger

    Roger ...

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    Then don't compete with themselves,

    I think you can try this. Accept their challenge and reply with nice and defensive way. Don't give them a chance to let you know. become hard to read.

    I think, this is not perfect solution. What do you think? Can this work??
     
  16. Top cat

    Top cat Permanent Fixture

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    Yeah, that's how I've been acting for quite some time now. It is a bit annoying for myself. I don't like pretending.

    Nowadays I don't even respond or just respond very vaguely (we talk together in groups at another place online so our speech isn't always directed to each other personally, sometimes just the whole group..).

    I can see if it was in real-life communication, you would have to respond directly. Internet can be handy for certain things... ^^



    It's such straaange behaviour ...
    I mentioned this to another person before, about a different situation. About people who say they like the same things as you to get your attention. The person's advice was to show them that they don't need to say things like that or be fake, in order to get someone to like them. On the other hand, I don't know how I would say this to this guy..because I don't yet know if I am correct about his behaviour.
     
  17. OP
    Roger

    Roger ...

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    Right maetel,

    We don't like pretending. I can understand that. too much embarrassing people.
     
  18. OP
    Roger

    Roger ...

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    I found one solution. It is simple and i think, it is effective too. I don't know. Let me tell you.

    1. We meet such awkward and bad minded persons because we allow such people.
    2. We let them control our feelings.
    3. We can't make choice of things with them.
    4. We become too much emotional.
    5. We become dependent on them for some reasons.

    If we take care of reasons above mentioned, i hope we can stay away from such toxic friends.
     
  19. Agnus

    Agnus Community Member

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    I would say that 1,2,6 hurts me more than 3,4,5.
    Besides, relations are made by interaction between people. If someone is all that you've wrote, it came out from them because of relation, I think.
     
  20. OP
    Roger

    Roger ...

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    Point 1,2 & 6 are popular and anyone can do it. It is very easy. You can catch them, if you want :D

    But sorry, if you have been hurt of those nasty people.
     
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