All the thoughts in my head are driving me nuts so I just need to get it out there to people who may understand. I just recently got out of a relationship with a great guy (INTJ). We both felt like it was miraculous how we got together, instantly clicked, had great chemistry, etc. and then he started checking out once things were becoming serious. I think the problem is I have a child from a previous relationship and he realized that wasn't going to make him happy long-term, which if that is the case I'm glad he realized it before it was too late. But the way we broke up, I feel like he wasn't transparent enough and it has left me mulling over all the things that could've possibly went wrong and I'm quite disillusioned, to be honest. I don't know if all those special moments we shared were just special to me and an act for him or if those moments were real but he just realized things had to end. I really wished he had just told me his specific reasons for breaking up so that it could make logical sense to me. As far as I'm concerned, it seemed we had the perfect relationship, something that generally only happens once in a lifetime and that most people could only HOPE to find. This was not my first relationship, or my longest, and yet it is the most difficult one for me to process. I am fine being alone and have accepted the breakup, forgiven, etc. and yet I'm still left wondering what in the world happened!
Of course it doesn't help that I can't really give people a good reason why we broke up, just some guesses...and their perception of him is that he was truly a great guy who I never said a negative word about. He also thought we were perfect for each other but somewhere along the line a shift happened.
My aunt just told me I need to call him up, work things out and we need to go on a mini-vacay for a weekend! I'm not going to do that, he wants to get over me despite supposedly having strong feelings for me and I'm not going to interrupt that process when I don't even know the specifics of what went wrong or if it's fixable. I'm assuming it's not, coming from an INTJ.
Of course it doesn't help that I can't really give people a good reason why we broke up, just some guesses...and their perception of him is that he was truly a great guy who I never said a negative word about. He also thought we were perfect for each other but somewhere along the line a shift happened.