Working with an ESFJ
- Thread starter middle1
- Start date
Not the funnest people to work with in the world If you're an ENTP, I can tell you that much.
The one that I had to work under at my last job disliked anything that was outside of the system thinking, she would critique everything that I did, set me up to get blamed by the managers and work her shifts. She disliked me right from the start, and I still have no clear idea on why.
A few things that I did learn about ESFJ's in a working environment is that they like to have their own personal space when working with others. Once they set the rules they expect you to respect them and follow them right down to the last full stop. They have a strange manner of victimizing themselves if you show that you present an idea or attitude that threatens them. They have a 'work, don't ask questions' attitude, they always have to be in control of the situation.
The pros I found working with ESFJ's is that they are good at organizing things and convincing others to get the job done. The have a sense of organizational skills which works for those that don't mind working under them. ESFJ's are certainly not afraid to critique and voice their opinion.
Questioning an ESFJ is out of the question.
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Hard workers? Yes, but they are also obnoxiously inefficient. They're good to study with if you didn't do the work and reading and don't know what is going on, but if you do know what is going on, they will just weigh you down.
In terms of friendships they annoy the hell out of me. I couldn't be in a relationship with any of the ESFJ females I know.
They aren't hard to get along with on a surface level though. Just be nice, and remember that if you ever betray their trust they don't forgive (unlike some other types which will are better at forgiving and forgetting).
In terms of friendships they annoy the hell out of me. I couldn't be in a relationship with any of the ESFJ females I know.
They aren't hard to get along with on a surface level though. Just be nice, and remember that if you ever betray their trust they don't forgive (unlike some other types which will are better at forgiving and forgetting).
I do all of the above, but I lack in the personable dept. It seems when I'm personable with this coworker, they have a tendency to smother me. Sit at my desk and shoot the breeze for hours. So I try to avoid getting into deep discussions with him simply because it drains me. And then when I don't, or I don't share the same enthusiasm about something, he takes great offense and ignores me for weeks.
This one is obnoxiously ineffecient. I try not to let it bother me because its not going to be addressed or corrected.
I am actually married to an ESFJ, but I'm comfortable enough to address problems within our relationship. I guess because I don't have the authority or right at work, I get frustrated. I am definetly walking on egg shells but I don't want to. Whatever I can do to set this guy at ease so he doesn't get me fired (which he is capable of doing) is what I want to work at!
I totally feel you. This one does have control issues. The other males in the office have pointed out that he wants to be the Alpha male. He is actually running in the next election and could be my next boss, if he doesn't fire me. That's why I'm looking for help. I either find I'm in his favor and he goes out of his way to make me happy, or he's mad at me for something irrational and punishes me by ignoring me and being extra personable to everyone else in front of me.
My immediate boss is an ESFJ. Here are some of my observations:
-She is very kind and has never treated me badly.
-She works relatively efficiently.
-She can get way too revved up by her emotions at times.
-She puts more emphasis in her status in the company, rather than her accomplishments and abilities (like I do).
-She wants me to 'need' her, and can get subtly upset if I don't give her enough attention.
-She cannot by any means understand my abstract 'N' ideas, so I keep them in.
-She generally only sees things from her point of view, and has a hard time accepting other people's ideas.
It may seem like I wrote more bad than good, but she is okay to work under, and I could definitely have it worse!
-She is very kind and has never treated me badly.
-She works relatively efficiently.
-She can get way too revved up by her emotions at times.
-She puts more emphasis in her status in the company, rather than her accomplishments and abilities (like I do).
-She wants me to 'need' her, and can get subtly upset if I don't give her enough attention.
-She cannot by any means understand my abstract 'N' ideas, so I keep them in.
-She generally only sees things from her point of view, and has a hard time accepting other people's ideas.
It may seem like I wrote more bad than good, but she is okay to work under, and I could definitely have it worse!