This is a follow-up up to the thread about not being able to read people. Referencing the same exact person. Basically, I started going to this open Mike in April every Saturday. I became very entranced by the the host, who I'll call in this thread to sound guy. I didn't ever understand why I was so interested in him. Though he is attractive, he is not my type physically. It wasn't sexual attraction. But I felt this PULL towards him. This strange pull. I've been going there every Saturday now since April except for one Saturday. Over the series of months we have progressed to knowing each other. He asked my name, invited me come an hour earlier like some of the other regulars did. I asked for some of the music he listened to, he gave me a list. I gave him a mix CD that he didn't like but was polite about and through these interactions we became friendlier. Chatting all night, cracking jokes. I would always catch him staring at me and he would look away fast. To be fair I'm very expressive, dance to the music and stuff, so a lot of people end up staring at me admiring my enthusiasm. At the end of last month I worked up the courage to give him a note with my number with the cryptic message: Sometimes when I look at you I think I see something special But you never let me look long enough To figure out what If you change your mind Drop the a line. And he texted me that night, but also let me know that he is crap at reaching out. Well, he has brought this up several times now to me when we see each other on Saturday about how he has a hard time with action and he's passive and his depression causes it all of these things. I had been texting him twice a week, but stopped this week because I felt I wasn't getting anywhere. Besides the first time he's never texted me first and I feel frustrated like I'm the only one who wants to connect. He's done things like in person recommends songs for me to listen to, praise my poetry. I could list out plenty of the little things he has done but it's all pretty inconsequential I think. You get the point I'm sure. I think about him way more than I want to. There's this feeling of unresolve and I don't know what to do. I've considered stopping going to the open Mike because it's so distressing to me, but I have a positive impact there and enjoy my time with others there too. I've reached out to other people and made successful connections so he is not the only person who I see there. It's his hot and cold attitude, friendly one week, withdrawn the next, that causes a lot of turmoil. I'm pretty sure it's depression and when he withdraws the behavior is towards everyone . I can't shake the feeling that he also wants to connect but just can't push through his own issues. At the end of the day it doesn't matter because if he can't give back it's not a useful exchange for me. So I have adjusted my behavior to pull back and try not to worry about. But my mind just keeps wandering there all the time. When I see him it just starts it all up again. I really don't understand WHY it is so important for me to know him. When he is feeling good, we have a great time and laugh and vibe more than I vibe with most people. But it's really not worth when he suddenly goes cold on me. No matter what I do I can't ignore the feeling I have and I really don't know what to do to get it to go away. I don't want to stop going to to the open Mike.