Why is this happening to me

Tonight went better I think. We gelled but there was a healthy distance. He kind of encouraged me to go up and tell some jokes which I'm self conscious about. Then at the end of the night he read some lyrics to me that he wrote which he's never done before and he generally mumbles lyrics or flat out won't sing them. So that's what I think this is about- that's why I keep mentioning mentorship. I think that something about both of us encourages the other to open up and share things we wouldn't otherwise feel comfortable doing. It's really beautiful to see, actually. It doesn't happen all the time but when it does it feels really rewarding. But I left thinking, even if next week he isn't able to share or be as open... It's the moments where we do to focus on. It's overall developing us into more confident people in a weird way. He actually rewrote my favorite song of his to take out some lines that he said didn't fit anymore. Did a whole overhaul of the song and turned it positive and I was like wow he's really growing. know what I'm saying?

My poems I wrote were really well received like multiple people told me how much they liked my work and I got people's attention who hadnt been paying attention because of how compelling what I was reading was. It was cool.
 
Milktoast Bandit said:
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I am eager to get into a position where I can protect and provide for my family. That's a major accomplishment that can't be understated.

If I can have enough free time to be an engaged father and husband then that is just more icing on the cake.
 
slant said:
I never have flirted with him or told him I am interested in him romantically. I am not. It wouldn't be a beneficial relationship for either of us. I don't understand why everyone keeps implying it's romantic... It's not, and I've stated this MULTIPLE times
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slant said:
Tonight went better I think. We gelled but there was a healthy distance
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It's the times we live in I'm afraid. Not many people under the age of 60 believe that men and women can form deep friendships that aren't romantic - but I think that's bollocks myself.

Metaphorically speaking you feel like a child who has found a fascinating locked box in the attic of your psyche and you are looking for help to open it :P. The hunt for a 'guru' can be just as emotionally charged as the search for a romantic soulmate, but they are very different things.

All the same you are taking a risk seeking a guru role in men who could at least in principle be romantic partners. They may well misunderstand - it's frustrating but safe if they keep you at arms length, but supposing one of them suddenly falls in love with you? I'd suggest you seek what you need from a much older man who could be more of a father figure, or from a wise woman - ideally both. They'd be better able to handle the transference you are seeking. At the very least, be up front with the guys about your needs and intent so they're clear about what to expect - they may well see things very differently to you and you could both get hurt.
 
Honestly, it is exhausting that this "could/must be romantic" thing is way too often some hindrance to overcome. It's almost annoying, and it isn't even about men nor women since they both can fall back on this easily.
I believe you @slant that you weren't giving any faux signs from your side of the interaction.

It's easier with more mature folk or people who are in a serious relationship and are simply cool, or at least chill as soon as they know you are in a serious relationship. There is way more to connection and attention than romance. Romance is wonderful. Still, Not.Cool. and boring if it's narrowed down to one thing.

(This is a general post about life and doesn't refer to anyone here in particular.)​
 
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slant said:
Not looking for a relationship with him of that nature
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"You crack me up, and you like my poetry and stuff.
Should we try creating something together, got a project going on?"

"I'm here and keen on getting involved! perhaps we can both explore and try out ideas and projects with others, maybe something clicks."
 
Ifur said:
"You crack me up, and you like my poetry and stuff.
Should we try creating something together, got a project going on?"

"I'm here and keen on getting involved! perhaps we can both explore and try out ideas and projects with others, maybe something clicks."
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YES!!!

and I recently just got an idea on how to do this.

I'm creating a podcast.... Maybe I'll plug it here sometime. It's totally something INFJs would enjoy. But I want a piano intro to it and I know this girl who I'm going to ask if I could commission her to play it for me. The sound guy has recording stuff, so if this girl says yes I'm gonna ask him if he can help produce the track for me (and I'll pay him. Meager wages but money is money!) I'm so excited because I think it would be a great way to develop our artistic professional friendship
 
slant said:
YES!!!

and I recently just got an idea on how to do this.

I'm creating a podcast.... Maybe I'll plug it here sometime. It's totally something INFJs would enjoy. But I want a piano intro to it and I know this girl who I'm going to ask if I could commission her to play it for me. The sound guy has recording stuff, so if this girl says yes I'm gonna ask him if he can help produce the track for me (and I'll pay him. Meager wages but money is money!) I'm so excited because I think it would be a great way to develop our artistic professional friendship
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Sounds like the right thing, and you even got a recognised DJ to pick music, sounds like you have a team for a podcast/radio project. Might be better to say you want them to hire you for charm and setting attitude on the things he and others would like to have played and things talked about.

Because you would need promotion, and also that others can get paid to tell you to cover something related on the show, in which case that is a skill on its own in addition to music and knowledge of the "scene".

If you want to navigate a platform with talk with impression and expressions, it's better to focus on that and invite and encourage others that ownership of others parts of the "platform". So I don't like the piano idea, shouldn't be your call.

If you want to be the navigator on a podcast with income, you need a captain, officers and sailors, you get the boat the crew is comfortable with for the task and destination! :)
 
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Ifur said:
Sounds like the right thing, and you even got a recognised DJ to pick music, sounds like you have a team for a podcast/radio project. Might be better to say you want them to hire you for charm and setting attitude on the things he and others would like to have played and things talked about.

Because you would need promotion, and also that others can get paid to tell you to cover something related on the show, in which case that is a skill on its own in addition to music and knowledge of the "scene".

If you want to navigate a platform with talk with impression and expressions, it's better to focus on that and invite and encourage others that ownership of others parts of the "platform". So I don't like the piano idea, shouldn't be your call.

If you want to be the navigator on a podcast with income, you need a captain, officers and sailors, you get the boat the crew is comfortable with for the task and destination! :)
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Oh no the podcast is personal and has nothing to do with collaborating with others. Just felt like it would be nice to have some music as an intro and if I can involve others instead of just buy stock music, the process that goes into creating the intro might deepen some friendships I have. I asked her and she was really excited to do it so I think it'll go well.
 
slant said:
Oh no the podcast is personal and has nothing to do with collaborating with others. Just felt like it would be nice to have some music as an intro and if I can involve others instead of just buy stock music, the process that goes into creating the intro might deepen some friendships I have. I asked her and she was really excited to do it so I think it'll go well.
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How much tim you spend with others and how much spent being botehered about things is up to you.
There can however somtimes be value in what one does on both sides of the spectrum, no matter how insane or delusional.

You have a circle you can either step-toe into something better, and a wider perspective -- pungnant opportunities forward.
Otherwise you can try and be passive enough to allow those that were couraged, spired and wanting to feel your presence to do just that and be friends.

The sound guy was not fuckable to you, but you loved it any ways?

I tend to make a difference between psychological and personaloty, one of you is a bit outgoing or introverted outgoing and shy elsewhere? The cute spelling errors can stay, but you seem to be a bit OCD about guys, on which side of helpful and fucking awful do you fall when it comes to being caught up on the opposite sex?
 
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Ifur said:
How much tim you spend with others and how much spent being botehered about things is up to you.
There can however somtimes be value in what one does on both sides of the spectrum, no matter how insane or delusional.

You have a circle you can either step-toe into something better, and a wider perspective -- pungnant opportunities forward.
Otherwise you can try and be passive enough to allow those that were couraged, spired and wanting to feel your presence to do just that and be friends.

The sound guy was not fuckable to you, but you loved it any ways?

I tend to make a difference between psychological and personaloty, one of you is a bit outgoing or introverted outgoing and shy elsewhere? The cute spelling errors can stay, but you seem to be a bit OCD about guys, on which side of helpful and fucking awful do you fall when it comes to being caught up on the opposite sex?
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Wow this is really abusive and out of line. Don't post on my thread again.
 
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