Which is your greatest fear?

[Satya]

There are 5 common fears that really seem to plague humanity. They are...

The fear of failure: People who have this fear see failure as something to be avoided because they believe it will lead to humiliation and shame. They support it with "all or none" thinking in which they believe that as long as they don't fully commit themselves to whatever they are doing then even if they do fail then they can't be ashamed because they weren't really trying.

The fear of risks: People who have this fear are actually afraid of the unknown. These people doubt their ability to function successfully in unfamiliar situations. They doubt themselves and because of it, they lack the self confidence to take chances.

The fear of rejection: People who have this fear believe that they need to please everyone. If anyone thinks anything bad about them or their choices, then it is the end of the world.

The fear of mediocrity: People who have this fear go by a common name. "Perfectionist." If it isn't done perfectly, then it isn't worth doing.

The fear of success: People who have this fear believe that if they succeed then everything they do from then on out has to top what they did before. They might also be afraid that their success may hurt others around them because they aren't as successful.

Which of these fears do you see in yourself?
Where did they originate? Tell me some stories.
What do you do to combat them?
Are there fears not listed that plague you?

 

[Odyne]

what about the fear of falling in love? Or the fear to commit or get attached to someone or something?

Which categories would those fall under? Fear of taking risks maybe..?

 

[Satya]

what about the fear of falling in love? Or the fear to commit or get attached to someone or something?

Which categories would those fall under? Fear of taking risks maybe..?

The list isn't exhaustive. Those might be good fears to add to the list. What do you think is the underlying belief behind those fears? What fears plague you?

 

[Odyne]

The list isn't exhaustive. Those might be good fears to add to the list. What do you think is the underlying belief behind those fears? What fears plague you?

well, it could one of the mentioned in the list, for example Risk or Rejection. But i would say it`s mostly fear of dissapointment and being let down. THAT would be my case.

I`d love to think that I don`t fear anything. However, that`s not true because i am human. For me, it`d be the two i`ve mentioned. They`ve held me back from alot of things. They`re not severe as to call them fear, but they could develop as so.

However, they`re the reason i`ve grown strong, independant and responsible. So i still don`t see them as negative things...yet.

 

[Satya]

well, it could one of the mentioned in the list, for example Risk or Rejection. But i would say it`s mostly fear of dissapointment and being let down. THAT would be my case.

I`d love to think that I don`t fear anything. However, that`s not true because i am human. For me, it`d be the two i`ve mentioned. They`ve held me back from alot of things. They`re not severe as to call them fear, but they could develop as so.

However, they`re the reason i`ve grown strong, independant and responsible. So i still don`t see them as negative things...yet.

The way you describe it I think it would actually fall under fear of failure. You don't want to commit because you believe it will fail or you will fail and it will hurt you down the road. With that kind of thinking, it is better to not commit or commit only partially, so that you don't have to face the possibility of that failure.

 

[anica]

Two of the fears on your list struck me as ones I suffer from: fear of rejection and fear of success. I believe my fear of rejection stems from my mother's rejection of me beginning in infancy and ending with her not speaking to me during the last year of her life. In the last year or so I've come to see her behavior less as rejection and more as confusion about how to parent a child whose behaviors were so different from her expectations.

My fear of success has its roots in my mother's expectations regarding gender roles. Boys were smarter than girls and that was the way her world was ordered. When I succeeded in school and my brothers didn't, her reasoning was that I was an "overachiever" and that my success in school somehow held them back from even trying. I think if I'd had any idea of how successful I would be in law school, I never would have started. As it was, it turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy as it alienated my entire family.

 

[Gaze]

I have all five but the most dominant are fear of risk (#1) and fear of failure.

I know that if I take a risk, and fall flat, or fail that i would feel very embarrassed and question myself, especially by ability to succeed again if I were to try. I have a strong fear of humilation (borne from childhood experiences) which make me extremely fearful of rejection. This makes me want to succeed at everything I do, and if I fail then I experience everything not just as a simple setback but as "complete" failure. And it doesn't help to have unrealistic expectations in the mix. Of course, this is an extreme way of looking at it, but it's mainly because of some experiences I had growing up which developed a "fearful" pattern of thinking, BUT it's a habit I'd like to break . . . and soon.

Edit:

One way to combat them is to acknowledge that you have them, how it affects you directly or indirectly (which is not easily recognized of course), understand the reason why you've developed those fears - source and origin, and how to avoid allowing fears to define you - recognize that some of these fears are "false evidence appearing real" and not based on reality. And knowing that there are some things we are not in control of and can't be.

 

[rbecca23]

The fear of success.

 

[Flavus Aquila]

My top two fears are not on the list - perhaps the second one might fall into one of the categories, but not neatly.

Fear of attack/injury - I am not so much affraid of death as I am of being maimed horribly.

Fear of injuring/hurting others - I had a bad experience a few years ago (and a mildly bad experience a couple of years ago) where I lost control of my anger and beat someone up horribly. In the more serious instance, the collegue saw it as his own fault, but I was badly traumatised by the horrible experience of losing control of my anger. I also hate it when I let something nasty out verbally - I have also had a bad experience where I made one very cutting remark to a subordinate, who almost had a nerveous break down over it and ended up quitting. (I think my imput was just the ice on the cake, but I since then I fear saying someting nasty).