What would an INFJ think if someone starts to hate him or her? | INFJ Forum

What would an INFJ think if someone starts to hate him or her?

Michael Lloyd

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Jun 5, 2012
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What would PROBABLY an INFJ think or feel if a person starts to hate him. I know this is individualized but as INFJs, what would you feel? What would you think? What would you probably do? Would you also despise the person? If the person will not care or would treat you as somebody that he used to know, would he be acting fine?

INFJs so love being loved and understood but they don't give much attention to others, grows so cold and then hot. It's weird but i find it selfish but i dont experience their sufferings so i won't mind. So back to the topic..what would an INFJ probably feel if his friend hated him so much that he wanted to cut him out of his life for good?
 
I do my best to remember that you can't please anyone and not let it bother me. "Hate" is such a strong word.
 
Ignore them and they'll go away :D
 
Wow. Hate? Hated so much by a 'friend' they wanted to cut you out of their life?

Hmmm.... must have been a cross over of their moral ethical line....

I would ask for forgiveness of the transgression and truly seek it. If they were a good friend and I valued their presence in my life - it would not matter to me whether I think I should be forgiven or not. If it mattered that much to them that they would end up hating me - then it must be serious and they are in pain. I know I have done things in my life that I thought were harmless only to find out - oh hell - I hurt someone badly. :(

I would ask.....then see how it goes from there.

Surely there would be some common ground we both could stand next to each other upon.
 
I've never had anyone hate me? Hate. If someone hated me so much that they wanted to cut me out of their life? I'm not sure. I suppose it would depend on the person. I guess...one time it might make me feel shame, the next might make me feel indifference. I suppose it depends.
 
I guess it depends on the reason why. If I caused it (and I have done terrible things before) I dont blame them and give them their space. If its something trivial that exists outside of myself I will generally try to get through to them. if I cannot I put it out of my mind, no need worrying and wasting energy on someone who hates you.
 
I would be deeply, deeply hurt. Quite possibly incapacitated for a little while, depending on how close we were. I would want to know why, of course. I would try to correct my behavior so it wouldn't happen again.

I remember when I was in junior high school the words "I hate you" were once scribbled on my locker door, and I was so hurt. But I also saw those words (later on) scribbled on other locker doors and then didn't feel quite as bad. Still though, it stung. I try to be nice, I guess that's why.
 
I would be confused and hurt and I might take a while to get over it. But I would also have a sense of 'good riddance'. I wouldn't want to associate with an angry and spiteful person. :m069:
 
I would be deeply, deeply hurt. Quite possibly incapacitated for a little while, depending on how close we were. I would want to know why, of course. I would try to correct my behavior so it wouldn't happen again.

I remember when I was in junior high school the words "I hate you" were once scribbled on my locker door, and I was so hurt. But I also saw those words (later on) scribbled on other locker doors and then didn't feel quite as bad. Still though, it stung. I try to be nice, I guess that's why.

awwww.
 
If my friend wanted to cut me out, I would most likely launch a preemptive strike. And hate is far too strong a word in any but the most disturbing of cases.
 
Never been hated as I recall, but I have been treated with indifference many times. If someone told me face to face that they hated me I'd probably laugh at them.
 
Depends on the reason.

Did I do something to deserve this hatred, or they hating me for no good reason?

Anyway, haters gonna hate, but this playas gotta play.
 
Interesting question. I'd like to answer (as a non-INFJ, mind you).

I don't know if I have ever had anyone genuinely hate me, but I think I'd just leave them alone and let them hate me. I would probably pity them for having to feel something so negative. If I thought I would still have value to them and that they misinterpreted a situation, I would show them how I felt about them to try to win them over, otherwise I'd just give them space.
 
Well...on the outside I would be condemning myself for not being able to please that person and would stay awake at night wondering why I was so hated and what I ever did to be hated and how I might be able to resolve the situation.

On the inside, however, I would be condemning said person for missing all of the things I have tried to contribute to his or her existence and feel that if he or she can not give as is taken then I should move on.

Please note: No offense meant, just being blatantly honest. :)

I would like to add that the sometimes cold detachment is really just because I get tired. As an INFJ, I give of myself past the point of fatigue emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically. I will detach emotionally from relationships where I feel I have given everything I have and have not received the same in return. I give of myself often and in differing degrees depending on the situation. I will give wholeheartedly for a stranger is my heart bleeds for him or her and his or her situation, but at some point even I have to call it quits.
 
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