What motivates you to help someone? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

What motivates you to help someone?

Pure self interest, when I see someone with a great need it almost brings me to tears, I don't like feeling like that. Meh at least i'm honest. The person has to seem to need help though, I wont help someone who wont help themself.

There is a guy who I keep seeing popping up in front of a number of stores around town with a sign that says homeless, will work for food... which sets off my bullshit meter.

I didnt help him because he looks like hes trying to be homeless, he grew a beard out, but he has decent clothing, how does he get from store to store all day?

There was another "homeless" person I saw walking around for a bit, a woman with a shopping cart and she went up and down the main drag in my town collecting cans, any time of day I could see her, unlike this guy who only shows up at certain stores with a sign at certain hours... Him I get a creeper feel about, the woman every time I saw her I gave her 5 bucks and a few times 20 bucks, no thank yous, no nothing, just hey, here is some money, get some food.

I do feel kind of shitty though not giving to the other guy even if he is a pan handler, in fact I will probably hand him some dough next time i see him because I cant verify either way. Better to err on the side of caution. I want to ask him what kind of skills he has too, because I may or may not know someone who could use a guy if he is willing to work.

But usually I would say I offer help on a need basis, if there is something I can do and they need it, I will give it, I pull people out of snow ditches all winter long for example when I see them slide off the road.
If I'm not moved emotionally to do it--an intense feeling of sympathy or pity...or as mentioned above, "gut wrenching compassion"
then it is because I know "it is the right thing to do.".. even if I don't want to do it.
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I want to help. I have become selective about helping people though. I only help those I think I can help. It's not worth either of our time if we cannot not communicate. If I feel that I can relate to another I will help them because I can understand where they are coming from. It also feels good to know that you are making a difference in another s life. It's easy to do nothing it takes character to help when no one else will...
I rarely reach out, maybe it is because I fear I will be feeding their need, not sure. I only reach out if I feel I can relate and I can help with a different perspective or my gut punches me hard enough to.

I believe in an informed decision but this entails looking at it from all possible angles and this I like to help people with but ultimately the choice lies with them as long as it is an informed choice.

If I sense they are not putting the effort in then I will retreat and watch from the sidelines and only give support.
If I like said person, then I'll try and help in any way I can.

Nothing more to it.