[INFJ] - What makes someone a neat freak? | INFJ Forum

[INFJ] What makes someone a neat freak?

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I have two roommates, and we're ALL neat freaks, thankfully. But whenever I go to others' places, it becomes apparent that we aren't normal, lol.

Both my roomies are ENFJ, and I'm INFJ (of course!).

We do a full housecleaning twice a week (including inside fridge), we NEVER leave dishes in the sink (no dishwasher), and keep all counters clear of ANYTHING...even appliances. NO hairs on floor or shower, NO water drops on sink , etc.

Whereas my friends will have clothes all over floor, dirty cups all over, newspaper cluttering the kitchen, and bathrooms that scare me, lol.

I'm not saying that tidiness is better or whatnot - it's just what works for me.

Not sure why my roomies are like this, but for me, my parents were hoarders, so...enough said.

So if you're a neat freak or you know one, why do you think you're/they're like that?
 
i think it's a control issue.
whereas hoarding is basically a lack of control issue.
 
it's just what works for me.

You have answered your own question.

People prioritize different things for different reasons. People are neat because they think messes are distracting/ugly, or they think that everything should be clean and organized because that allows people to be more efficient or more hygenic, or because they don't want to be judged by people who think messiness is bad. People are also creatures of habit.
 
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i think it's a control issue.
Bam.

I don't mind my own messes, but that's because they're mine. I still know where to find stuff.
 
Im a neat snob. My mess is fine but I turn my nose up if others are sloppy.
 
Know some brothers who used to mess up their younger brother's closet and shoes just to make him mad.
 
i think it's a control issue.

Basically.

You're a neat freak when your standards of and rituals for cleanliness are so rigorous they severely interfere with and encroach on other people's enjoyment of the shared space. It's not irrational to demand hygiene and a certain level of tidiness, but it should be a level all inhabitants of the space can reasonably achieve.

Who you room with makes a huge difference. It also helps if you split up the chores and keep each other accountable. You just gotta find a system that works for your group. For instance, in second and third year, the girls and I did our cleaning on Mondays. We figured it was a shitty day already, so we might as well grit our teeth through it... except, it was much better when we did all of our cleaning together, otherwise, people would 'forget.' We'd blast the music and sing and joke around and drink wine while we were at it, so it made the whole thing more fun. We'd also 'redecorate' with cheap things we got from the dollar store every week, so it was a nice incentive to have a theme going.

Unfortunately, the same formula didn't work with my next roommates. They just didn't have 'clean' on top of their list. It was only me and this one guy E that put in any effort to keeping things at a minimum (the kitchen and bathroom). The living room was lucky if it got swept once a month. Since it only bothered the two of us, we were the ones that cared enough to do it. The others occasionally paid us in beer.
 
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I had a roommate who was a neat freak. I think it was an extension of their need to control their mental environment. Messes externally would trigger chaos inside and drive their need to fix things, sometimes to the point of obsessiveness.

In a real way I think people's actions mirror their internal landscapes.
 
Know some brothers who used to mess up their younger brother's closet and shoes just to make him mad.

Oh, that is awful, who would do that to a person? (well, yeah.. a sibling, of course.) Were you the younger brother? Or the older one, or someone else entirely?

I'm fairly neat, possibly a control issue, but it is mostly because the world can be very harsh and ugly, and having things at home clean, organized, smelling good and generally attractive creates a haven for me and my family, which is very important to me. Other people seem to appreciate it somewhat, so I don't think I go over-the-top OCD, but given certain circumstances, the possibility is there. I associate messes, clutter, and bad smells with all sorts of horribleness. Fortunately, my husband is similar to me this way.

(Quotes from friends include "Do you have a maid?" --no, and "Where do you keep all your junk?" -- Goodwill) Maybe I'm just crazy.
 
Oh, that is awful, who would do that to a person? (well, yeah.. a sibling, of course.) Were you the younger brother? Or the older one, or someone else entirely?

I'm fairly neat, possibly a control issue, but it is mostly because the world can be very harsh and ugly, and having things at home clean, organized, smelling good and generally attractive creates a haven for me and my family, which is very important to me. Other people seem to appreciate it somewhat, so I don't think I go over-the-top OCD, but given certain circumstances, the possibility is there. I associate messes, clutter, and bad smells with all sorts of horribleness. Fortunately, my husband is similar to me this way.

(Quotes from friends include "Do you have a maid?" --no, and "Where do you keep all your junk?" -- Goodwill) Maybe I'm just crazy.

I was someone else entirely. Married a woman with ADD, and she is very creative. Imagine that. No, it rubbed off on me; I gave up.
 
I use cleaning as a mindless activity that allows me to ponder stuff on an unconscious level, as in busy work. I am not a neat freak at all. I'm not super messy either. I can tolerate an immense amount of clutter in my personal space but it usually denotes an equal amount of stress and chaos I'm feeling. At work I tolerate less of a clutter but will have several things going at once that I can tuck away in a corner and do when I want.

However, when I feel the need to start cleaning up my messes and getting my life in order, I get very organized and everything is scoured clean, finished and tidyed up. Often this is done only as way to clear my mental "to do" list and once I have eliminated several things from it, the urge to marshall the forces of battle and clean goes away.
 
I am a neat freak to an extent, kids have definitely gotten me to loosen up in that respect. I love to enjoy my perfectly tidy downstairs when I am home alone. When in the company of others, I let it go. If you were to walk upstairs you would think an entirely different person lived in the house. I don't care if the kids make their bed. I have them pick up their playroom when I can no longer walk from one side of the room to the other lest I step on something.

I'm a neat freak because I enjoy a clean house. Is it a control issue? Maybe more of an issue of knowing that as long as I stay on top of it, it is easier to maintain.

I have to say that "being tidy" is a little difficult in dealing with one of my CASA cases. The mother is totally unkempt in her hygiene, appearance and house. It is difficult to throw everything I know out the window and get down to the basic of asking myself if the children are safe in that environment. :X
 
Also I have bad dust mite allergies... To keep those nasty things away, you kind of HAVE to be a clean freak. :p
 
They have a strong desire to control their environment. It is an animal behavior and is somewhat normal under some circumstances. It just comes as a result of anxiety.
 
So if you're a neat freak or you know one, why do you think you're/they're like that?

My ESFP said that he's punctual, because his parents aren't. So I'm guessing he's messy, because his parents are neatfreaks.

So I'm guessing people are neatfreaks, because their parents are messy.