What does introversion feel like? | INFJ Forum

What does introversion feel like?

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barbad0s

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How do you feel when you're alone, when you're with a couple close friends, when you meet people for the first time, etc? How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly?

How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality?

How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know?

How do you feel around talkative people, and how do you feel around quiet people? What responses do these people elicit in you?

Enlighten me... :m096:


Edit: Please also see this post. Thx!
 
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I'm fine when alone except when i'm "really" alone. For example, out in the middle of nowhere...alone. That has a burning, hurtful feeling to it in my chest. It's almost too much to bear.

Small talk annoys me. I'll do anything I can to avoid it.

I'm fine around talkative people (as long as it's not small talk) and I'm just as fine around quiet people. I know I'm an introvert because of how exhausted I am after large gatherings or prolonged social settings. It's exhausted but still fulfilled. I still need people, but for some reason they just seem to drain me instead of charge me up. I cant be alone for too long though because being alone for too long makes me feel like I'm going to burst with energy and I have to let out all my thoughts and talk to someone eventually. :D

So, I'm like the girl that you'll see Friday night that was super friendly and full of energy but disappears Saturday night and won't answer calls. Or the one that falls asleep holed up in her hotel room the last night of a group vacation. It can be confusing for people.
 
alone:
Productive.

with a couple close friends:
Attentive.

when you meet people for the first time:
Curious. If they're women, more so.

react in social situations
-outwardly: Jovial, friendly, sarcastic.
-inwardly: Quickly exhausted.

How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality?:
I require space and time to myself almost constantly. I'd be a good orangutan.

How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know?:
I was always quiet, serious, and fearful. Most interactions seemed pointless. Now I don't require all that much attention from others, although I demand it heavily when I do want it. I've been working on making that clear.

What responses do these people elicit in you?
-around talkative people: Depends on what they're saying. If it's inane chatter I lose interest and it tends to show. If they're saying something worthwhile or otherwise important to me, I'm there.
-around quiet people: They used to unnerve me. They still do if I can't gauge their physical responses.
 
How do you feel when you're alone ?

Depends on how alone I am, I usually feel quite comfortable alone... but I do need some social interaction, very little... but some. I find that just being around people is often enough for me, I don't need to really socialize that much...

when you're with a couple close friends?

I feel great, like I'm alone, but better... I can let a few people peer inside and see what really makes me "tick".

When you meet people for the first time, etc?

Hey, how are you? Alright, and you? Fine... and that's that. If I'm feeling particularly ballsy I might even thow out a compliment, or some sarcasm. I'm usually pretty on gaurd... unfortunately, so I just say hello - and I occasionally make small talk if I feel particularly interested in said individual...

How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly?

Depends on the situation... I try to act outwardly (so to speak), but I'm really thinking inwardly. It's not easy to see from the outside, you'll probably just see a shy person who isn't quick to respond and seems rather thoughtful about his/her responses.

How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality?

I almost always enjoy creating/ building things on my own, and I don't want other people to interfere/watch me. I enjoy; writing, sketching, a few instuments... things of that sort, but I don't like people seeing my W.I.P. or what's going on in my head. I want them to see the finished product, or the "mostly" finished product so I can get some decent feedback.

How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know?

Simple, I enjoy time with friends, but I need to be away to recharge my "batteries"... I've seen extraverts talk/be with each other for many hours at a time and still remain comfortable. I need time away from socializing...

How do you feel around talkative people, and how do you feel around quiet people? What responses do these people elicit in you?

This one really depends on the individual whom I'm with, some talkative people make me feel at ease... others do just the opposite. I enjoy talking to those who are really "open " (aren't acting/ being self-righteous), it takes away a lot of that fakeness/ anxiety... they're just so comfortable in their own skin - and they make me more comfortable with who I am. Quiet people also put me at ease, because I don't have to talk to them : P It really depends, if I'm close with the introvert I enjoy talking with them quite a bit... if I'm not close with an introvert... well we usually avoid each other; with an extravert "new" acquaintance I can still talk pretty comfortably... there's so many different types out there (hard for me to describe each accurately/succinctly).
 
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For me, being introverted means mostly that I want a lot of time and space to think about stuff. It means that I may not be the first to reply, but that my reply will certainly be thoughtful. It means I come across as more intelligent in print than in person because I am not pressured into too fast a reply. It means I love people, but I feel alone in a crowd. I like to give people the attention they need and I can do that with one or two people -- a roomful is overwhelming. Quiet people and talkative people say the same amount, just in different ways. One of of my greatest virtues as well as greatest vices is that my mind automatically classifies people by their "feel" or personalities rather than by their faces or names. I'll remember a fascinating conversation, and the next time I meet that person, I don't remember their name or face.

Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits. Remember that? :D I think mostly I sits and thinks. LOL
 
How do you feel when you're alone? This is really when I feel best, I prefer to be alone most of the time except on weekends.

when you're with a couple close friends? Like I'd prefer to be with just one of them rather than a couple. All of my best interactions are 1 on 1 interactions.

when you meet people for the first time, etc? Depends on the social situation, usually a bit anxious unless I'm in a position of authority.

How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly? Depends on the situation, outwardly in a neutral situation usually reserved both inside and out. In a situation where I have authority, confident and friendly on the outside and pretty much deadpan on the inside.

How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality? I'm not sure, I like to be alone a lot so I guess it makes me read a lot.

How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know? I know because I like being alone and apparently extroverts can't stand being alone. I think I'm probably more introverted than 90% of the people on the planet tbh. If I didn't like sex or romance I'd be a shut in.

How do you feel around talkative people? Depends on the kind of talk, can't stand small talk or things that don't interest me.

how do you feel around quiet people? I don't really notice them. If I'm alone with someone quiet typically I'll talk a bit.

What responses do these people elicit in you? Not sure, depends on the person I guess.
 
niffer said:
Enlighten me...
Click to expand...

Enlightenment? :tape:


How do you feel when you're alone, when you're with a couple close friends, when you meet people for the first time, etc? How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly?

I feel emotional, safe, and sweet. I also feel peaceful or anxious depending on whether I'm balanced on my amount of alone time and social time.

Meeting new people requires so getting used to, depending on the amount of Ne they exhibit. Ne types tend to be a bit "slippery" and flighty, so I find it difficult to interact with them on a stable platform. It also depends on the conversational compatibility of the major persons in the social setting, whether I "get" them or not and whether I can engage in any personalized interaction or whether I can comfortably participate in the background.

I tend to react inwardly by wondering about a person's inner life, attractive qualities, and detestable qualities—and whether I have those qualities as well. I also wonder about how likely it is for me to want to and comfortably get to know any given individual.
I react outwardly by using humor, stone-faced neutrality (if I'm not impressed; i.e., do I find any potential value in and possibility of one-on-one friendship, apart from a more-than-3-person group setting), or stone-faced calmness (if I'm just listening and waiting to decide whether to engage further or to disengage).


How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality?

I take in ideas and thoughts from reading, everyday occurrences, interactions with familiar individuals. I chew on those ideas. I write about those thoughts. Constant, incessant reflection on how one incident or idea is connected to the bigger picture of life. Constant comparison of one idea and situation with concepts in other fields and disciplines.


How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know?

I choose to maintain regular contact with only up to 3 or 4 people in real life. I choose to do many tasks alone; the only tasks I do with others I do with usually one or two individuals at a time. In settings of more people (e.g., a beach, park, public square, church, etc), I prefer highly structured scenarios with low social stimuli (with preference for interaction with only one to three individuals at a time).


How do you feel around talkative people, and how do you feel around quiet people? What responses do these people elicit in you?

A talkative person can be very appealing, as seen in ESFPs and INFJs. I feel respected and cared about by individuals who respond conversationally in a compatible manner. Around quiet people, I feel excellent when there is a desire to spend time together for long periods of time with occasional talk, activity, daily life routines, etc. Just having a quiet person around can feel warm.
 
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How do you feel when you're alone? Content

When you're with a couple close friends? More content

When you meet people for the first time, etc? It depends on the person, some people very comfortable from the onset, others extremely uneasy.

How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly? Like I said it depends on the people. I'm mostly comfortable in small groups of people as opposed to large crowds. I'm also more comfortable with people who are comfortable with themselves. I am most likely to like someone if they truly like themselves.

How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality? It's a push and pull experience. I have social obligations which feel like obligations. Sometimes I enjoy them and get a lot out of them, but a lot of the time I prefer my own company and that of just one other person. It's just the way I am.

How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know? I know I'm an introvert because 75% or more of the time I prefer to just be alone with my own thoughts. When I think about socializing I think of it in terms of being with just one other person, or a bear, or maybe bald eagle.

How do you feel around talkative people, and how do you feel around quiet people? What responses do these people elicit in you? I appreciate talkative people because they tend to fill in all the gaps that I'm not that good at filling in. But then they tend to bother me after a while because they are always needing that social interaction whereas I do not. Quiet people basically do the same thing for me but in different ways. I mean who talks when everyone is quiet - nobody. Both sides have pros and cons. I like both kinds for different reasons - variety is nice.

I am most content when I am able to spend long periods of time with myself and then relate to other people for short periods of time. This is just who I am.

Very good questions [MENTION=3998]niffer[/MENTION]
 
when i’m alone i feel content. i feel safe. i feel like me. often, i feel very alive. i don’t usually feel lonely.
when i’m with a couple *close* friends i generally feel quite happy to engage. to share (some things), to listen.
meeting people for the first time – i give very little of myself. outwardly i am quiet, shy, reserved, distant. i observe. I listen. i take in far more this way. i feel more in control. i don’t usually feel compelled to speak out. sometimes, with some people, i have a strong desire to really connect. and i want them to know more about me, and i want to know them. In these moments, i *try* to be less quiet, shy...
i know i’m an introvert for reasons stated above. also, i know what makes me tick.
many of my interests are solitary and bring me great satisfaction. that’s what drives me, stirs me. i spend a lot of time alone because that's my natural preferred mode.
i generally feel more at ease being around quiet people. however, it also depends on other factors (how well i know them, the generally feeling i get from the other person, how they respond to me, what i think of them, what they are talking about...)
 
niffer said:
How do you feel when you're alone, when you're with a couple close friends, when you meet people for the first time, etc? How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly?

How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality?

How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know?

How do you feel around talkative people, and how do you feel around quiet people? What responses do these people elicit in you?

Enlighten me... :m096:
Click to expand...

Let me give you a situational example. Someone might ask me all of the above and I would be like: "OMG this person needs to get a clue." Then I would say something or nothing until they went away and I would feel better.
 
uberrogo said:
Let me give you a situational example. Someone might ask me all of the above and I would be like: "OMG this person needs to get a clue." Then I would say something or nothing until they went away and I would feel better.
Click to expand...
I want the last 10 seconds of my life back
 
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Sadie said:
I have social obligations which feel like obligations.
Click to expand...
Obligation is the right word.

I really hate it when I want a little bit of social interaction. On those days, it's better that I just bite the bullet and not hang out at all:

My friends usually hang out from around 6:00pm till midnight. We hang out for a while, play games, get dinner, and by the time they put on a movie at 9 or 10, I've only just "settled in." Somehow, I've discovered that I need at least about 4 hours to feel satisfied by interaction with close friends. (Either that, or a 1 to 2 hour "appointment" just to talk).

This is the push-pull you were talking about. It's not that I shouldn't have left at 8:00pm; it's that I don't feel satisfied if I only spend 2 hours together. So yeah, if I don't have the discipline to pull away at 8:00pm then I need to only begin interactions by 3:00pm, so that by 7:00 or 8:00, I am satisfied enough to stop and just go home.
 
How do you feel when you're alone ?

Depends. If I've been alone for a long time, I can feel a little lonely and having a cup of coffee on a chat. Usually though, after a busy day or a social interaction i love to just climb the stais to my room and close the door. Even if I've enjoyed my day, it's like a big sigh of releif to close the door to be alone and read, write, listen to music and clean the house. It's a contented feeling.

when you're with a couple close friends?

As others have said, its like being alone but better! I mostly like one on one or maybe 2 other friends and myself....but more than three usually starts to be a crowd for me. Seeing close friends who get the way I am is always comftorable. We can chat at length and it's nice to be able to talk to someone who I care about deeply and who I feel comftorable saying whatever is on my mind to. It keeps me sane and helps me feel understood!

When you meet people for the first time, etc?

It depends o nthe people and on my current mood/state of mind. As others have said, I'm very sensitive to atmoshperes and auras...so theres some people I feel comftorable with immidiately, and others not so much. If I'm in a good mood I'm more likely to try and make small talk and enquire about the other person, if not, I might end up being the awkward quiet one who just sits there quietly and acts awkward! I was the only introvert in a family of extraverts, and my parents were missionaries, which meant a lot of visiting churches and meeting lots of new people and having to make small talk a lot, so its more a skill I've developed!

How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly?

Depends on the situation... if its a group of people I'm extremely close with....I'm talkative from the getgo. In new situations I tend to be a little more cautious and I hang back. I'll speak quietly when spoken to, and generally won't try and get involved. I can come off as quite disinterested or aloof apparently, but really, all I'm feeling is nervous! I don't know if this is an introvert thing, but I'm afraid of catching someones eye/getting caught staring/taking too much interest in case someone gets the wrong idea and thinks im TOO interested. I have no idea why, i've just always been that way! After I've had a while to observe the situation and the people and to decide whether I'm comftorable or not I usually warm up and become a lot more talkative!

How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality?

Hmm. Well I suppose I like solitary hobbys! I like to be alone and to be able to concentrate on whatever I'm doing and I really hate being interupted. I love to socialise, but I like it on my terms...ie. when I'm in the mood. I'm good at listening, but I won't claim to be a quiet introvert. I can appear quite extraverted as when I'm with people I'm comftorable with I am quite the chatterbox, however I do find it draning. Going out one night in a weekend is plenty for me, and I'll want the next day to myself to be alone.

How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know?

Simple: social situations do not recharge my batteries. If extremely introverted to you means very quiet and doesn't talk much, then no I wouldn't be an extreme introvert. I pick my moments socially, but I am quite introverted. Sometimes I go a few weeks at a time in hibernation just because Ineed to think and sort my head out away from everyone else.

How do you feel around talkative people, and how do you feel around quiet people? What responses do these people elicit in you?

You can't just split it into talkative and non talkative people. It depends on the person entirely! There are some talkative people that drive me crazy and make me feel very uncomftorable/angry. There are other very talkative people that I love being around either to just listen or talk back to as much as I'm allowed!
As for the quiet people, there are some quiet people I just feel awkward with. I feel no connection and so have no idea what to say. On the other hand I know some quiet people I have felt a atrange bond with and so I chat away to them whether they talk much or not!
 
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knight in battle said:
Are you INJ? "Ni insights, on the other hand, are usually honed internally and only made public as ‘finished product.’"(cf. concept of Ni finished product).
Click to expand...

Well the description seems to fit me quite well, almost comically really. Reading my own flaws... a lot of truth there... though I'd rather not admit it.
 
How do you feel when you're alone?
I feel pretty peaceful.

When you're with a couple close friends?
I feel like I'm having fun.

When you meet people for the first time, etc?
I'm actually not anxious at all and quite talkative. It's meeting them over and over and forming long relationships that makes me anxious. I find that if I'm never going to meet the person again, I feel quite gregarious.

How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly?
If it's a large group of people, it makes me nervous on the outside and inside.

How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality?
I like learning alone and doing things I enjoy alone.

How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know?
I know I am an introvert because I can be alone for extended periods of times without it bothering me.

How do you feel around talkative people?
I mostly enjoy it, I think talkative people are nice.

how do you feel around quiet people?
I also enjoy it, because I feel more on the same wavelength with the person.

What responses do these people elicit in you?
Depends on the personality.
 
Thank you everyone for your responses, especially the more thorough ones. They have all been helpful.

I had this conversation with someone just now.

17:19
niffer
what does it feel like to be introverted?
17:20
csshih
restrictive
17:20csshih
human
17:21csshih
though if you try hard enough it's not much of a problem
17:24niffer
this is something i just pulled out of my ass right this second
17:24niffer
but
17:24niffer
i think being extroverted is restrictive too, for me
17:25niffer
having to attune to social constructs all the time because i always crave social interaction
17:26niffer
in the end i just choose to be quiet a lot of the time because of this
17:27niffer
but i'm wondering if that has an influence on how a person's character could develop into more introverted preferences over time
Click to expand...


It would be great if people could help me brainstorm about this. Thanks again.
 
niffer said:
How do you feel when you're alone, when you're with a couple close friends, when you meet people for the first time, etc? How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly?
Click to expand...

Alone: Relieved, comfortable and natural-- usually, at first. For a time. When it gets to be a few days that I haven't talked to anyone, then I become bored and can't get out of the house fast enough.
With close friends: Simply enthralled. Good times. I feel very fulfilled having spent a day with friends.
When I meet people for the first time: Like an awkward robot.

In social situations I... Am very quiet and observant and like to fade into the background if I am with unfamiliar people. Partly because I am shy, but I am also cautious and like to take in the details and make assessments before revealing anything of myself, even if it's just a smile. Maybe that's just a fancy way of saying, shy. The weird thing is that in a professional setting, I am not shy. I am lively and outgoing and am quick to build a rapport.
But perhaps that's because I understand the unspoken rules better in that situation.
If I am with people I know well I can be very gregarious. In those instances, I suppose I am reacting outwardly.

niffer said:
How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality?
Click to expand...
I have a professional surrogate.
Actually, I will answer this with one of my brother's observations (As I have heard him tell others--through the grape vine) "She's in one of her hermit phases. Give her a few days."
At a former job years ago someone I became friends with noted to me: "I thought the first four months you worked here that you were incapable of speech."
An art teacher once told me I was "spunky in a quiet way."
niffer said:
How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know?
Click to expand...

I feel stressed out if I don't get to spend time alone. Sometimes I will consider starting a conversation with someone but always pause to consider the amount of energy it will cost me.. and make my decision based on whether or not it's worth it. Also, if I am having some interesting thoughts I won't want to set those aside to start a conversation with someone if I can help it. I would almost always prefer daydreaming to chatting. Unless, like I said, it's a topic that really engages me.
That sounds horrible, I know. I swear I'm really not the biggest asshole ever though.

niffer said:
How do you feel around talkative people, and how do you feel around quiet people? What responses do these people elicit in you?
Click to expand...

Frazzled around talkative people if they are talking about something boring--because then I feel pressured to be polite and smile and nod when I just want to get away.
Around really quiet people, I either try to amuse them (If I think they are shy and uncomfortable) or leave them alone if they seem comfortable being quiet...and enjoy moments of silence with them.
I can understand that usually, really talkative people are interested in making some connection... and I appreciate that. But it is still taxing when I would rather be thinking about other things than the same story you told me a week ago or what you watched on tv.
 
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