Undoubtedly
- Thread starter mooserini
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Probably because many people have a strong drive for quality relationships which they may not have.
I understand that. Most people spend their lives working toward the perfect relationship. Quality is the key though. I wonder... would two INFJ's be a good combination?
ohhh Relationships... I forgot those include friends. Friends... Somewhere along the line I lost those. I am not sure when or why. No one dislikes me that I used to be friends with. I suppose my lack of active friends is due to my nature to be somewhat recluse - they don't understand. I have to guard a part of me.
I relate very much to what you've said here and have been moved to respond. ( see what i did there.
) That being said, I too have to guard a part of me. People might not see this due to the fact that if you look back through my posts, videos, or even know me to a certain extent in real life, I appear to be very very open. The truth is that I am open, with a LOT of things, but there are certain things that I keep very private and to myself, especially my thoughts on what people consider to be serious and important matters. I also only ever give so much of myself to anybody. It might seem otherwise, but I am unbelievably cautious with who I am and if people or any person gets too close, I am liable to push away or build a wall. When it comes to friends, I have been lucky to meet people who are satisfied with as much as I am able to give them, and only the people who truly want to know me, pursue me and get to know more. The lovers of my soul tend to know that I can be quite reclusive, but I love them back, and I like to say that they are privy to my batman signal ( but that is just the dork in me ).
Anyway, I like the relationships section because I honestly love people. I know that in this time the majority of the people that I talk to actually can't stand other people, and say so. But I love the stories, the lives, the intertwined interactions, it's all very appealing and beautiful to me.
I relate very much to what you've said here and have been moved to respond. ( see what i did there.
When it comes to friends, I have been lucky to meet people who are satisfied with as much as I am able to give them, and only the people who truly want to know me, pursue me and get to know more. The lovers of my soul tend to know that I can be quite reclusive, but I love them back, and I like to say that they are privy to my batman signal ( but that is just the dork in me ).
Anyway, I like the relationships section because I honestly love people. I know that in this time the majority of the people that I talk to actually can't stand other people, and say so. But I love the stories, the lives, the intertwined interactions, it's all very appealing and beautiful to me.
Interesting. I have been guilty of the "building a wall" response my whole life. To the untrained eye I am the most open, honest and forthcoming person you'd ever meet. I can't even begin to describe what it is that I protect. I suppose it's the fact that despite my open nature and my willingness to give my heart and soul to a person in need, I find that without protecting something I feel as if though I'll be left with nothing to call my own. This begins my inner battle of whether or not I am being selfish.
Ahh sometimes I think I am a mess.
I can agree with the inner battle questioning my own selfishness.. that is extremely interesting. I would venture to say that you are a mess, a beautiful mess. (
Nice to meet you and I look forward to reading more of your posts. =)
I can agree with the inner battle questioning my own selfishness.. that is extremely interesting. I would venture to say that you are a mess, a beautiful mess. (
Yeah. I can't ever do anything "good" without wondering if somehow I'm not doing it for myself. I am pretty self aware. I think I am self aware to a fault. I never let myself get away with anything
I can totally relate to what you and @dneecey are describing. I think the only difference is that I tend to put my wall up from the start and the challenge for others is to break it down, piece by piece. It's definitely a defense mechanism to weed out those who are not willing to take the time to break down the wall, but it really impedes me from making friends, dating, etc. Once the wall goes down though, I am very open. I am lucky in the aspect that the friends I do have understand my need to be reclusive at times and don't take it personally.
I know what you mean as well.. I have a two tier system... allow me to explain
I attract people by being what appears to be a very open person in a casual social atmosphere. Once I realize someone has interest in becoming a personal friend (or whatever) I then put up the first wall. This one isn't nearly as strong and usually doesn't take very long to be destroyed if someone has the intent to really befriend me. It does, however, weed out the people who aren't willing to put forth the effort (as you said). There is a plateau period where that person is inside the outer wall of the village that is me, but it usually takes a long while before most people become curious enough to try and storm the castle. So far no one has stormed the castle. Anyone who has attempted to and sincerely put forth effort has been ejected from the village because like the wizard of oz "NO ONE sees the wizard"
I know what you mean as well.. I have a two tier system... allow me to explain
I attract people by being what appears to be a very open person in a casual social atmosphere. Once I realize someone has interest in becoming a personal friend (or whatever) I then put up the first wall. This one isn't nearly as strong and usually doesn't take very long to be destroyed if someone has the intent to really befriend me. It does, however, weed out the people who aren't willing to put forth the effort (as you said). There is a plateau period where that person is inside the outer wall of the village that is me, but it usually takes a long while before most people become curious enough to try and storm the castle. So far no one has stormed the castle. Anyone who has attempted to and sincerely put forth effort has been ejected from the village because like the wizard of oz "NO ONE sees the wizard"
Holy hell, that totally sounds like me. In any case...
You know how they say that INFJ's are somewhat.. mystical.. revered by some as being almost psychic. Yeah. I hate that part of me. BOOO
You know how they say that INFJ's are somewhat.. mystical.. revered by some as being almost psychic. Yeah. I hate that part of me. BOOO
Bah...embrace your intuitiveness. I rather enjoy mine, it's prepared me for what's coming many a-time. Best example I can think of off the top of my head is that I had the sudden urge to go ahead and get my grandmother's christmas present made this last Friday night. I make jewelry so I made her a necklace...anyway, she had a massive stroke on Saturday. It's unlikely she will make it until christmas; even if she does, her cognitive function will be gone. I gave her that necklace on Sunday, when she still had some cognitive function left and she loved it, I could tell, even though she's completely able to speak. If I hadn't had that sudden urge, I never would have been able to give it to her while she was still able to recognize it...or me, for that matter. Anyway, not looking for sympathy or anything, just an example that was fresh in my mind.
I've just lost a lot of acquaintanceship due to my insight. In my experience, people really dislike being told what is coming. I've even gone so far as to warn them that they will not like what I will tell them most of the time before I do. Why did I say acquaintanceship ??
My guess is that is the appropriate word. Those who are not willing to "break down the wall" and go the distance to accept you for who you are are exactly that, acquaintances. I've experienced this myself. The few who do dig enough to understand how I tick and accept me for the way I am understand that I will tell them exactly what I think or feel and realize that it's not a personal dig at them...it's simply what I see and I am just simply being honest. What they do with what I tell them is their business and I accept that as well. I'm not one to say "I told you so".
I occasionally get to say "I told you so" but usually to the people that expect it and enjoy my insight. I don't like being wrong. I don't expect anyone else to.