Understanding

[Trifoilum]

A set of questions;

How often do you feel that others lack understanding of you?
How often do you feel that you lack understanding of others?

What are the limits of being understanding?
What are the bad aspects of being understanding?

If you have this power to -force-; whether it's other people's understanding of you or vice versa, how often would you use it?
Would you use it at all? Why?

Is there any point where it starts becoming toxic?

 

[donkeybals]

How often do you feel that others lack understanding of you? ALL THE TIME
How often do you feel that you lack understanding of others? ALL THE TIME

What are the limits of being understanding? Hmm. Limits? What Limits?
What are the bad aspects of being understanding? None I think?

If you have this power to -force-; whether it's other people's understanding of you or vice versa, how often would you use it?
Would you use it at all? Why?

If I had a special power, I'd use it all the time!

Is there any point where it starts becoming toxic?

Yes.

 

[Gaze]

How often do you feel that others lack understanding of you?
- Almost all the time but that's probably not true. I think people understand more than I realize, they just choose not to acknowledge it - they simply treat it as any other difference.

How often do you feel that you lack understanding of others?
- All the time. I'm less aware than I think I am I'd like to think I'm quite aware and knowledgeable about the world around me, but not as clued in as I'd like to be.

What are the limits of being understanding?
- the belief that you can achieve complete understanding. You can think you know, but that arrogance can create blindness to other levels of understanding or knowledge. Being too understanding can be a con because then you end up spending so much of your time being understanding about things that you don't appreciate mystery or the unknown, and you don't give people the chance to surprise you.

What are the bad aspects of being understanding?
- See above.

If you have this power to -force-; whether it's other people's understanding of you or vice versa, how often would you use it? Would you use it at all? Why?
- 25-40%. It violates freewill so, at some point, I'd feel like a pain making someone do what they don't want to do. It wouldn't be a real or authentic interest.

Is there any point where it starts becoming toxic?
- Yep, encouraging people to understand each other better can be good if it limits discrimination and creates more equal opportunities and greater recognition for diversity/differences in our society or culture, but if it becomes an obsessive personal need to be understood or appreciated, then you forfeit your life; you're not really living. You'll find you're on an unending search for that understanding and recognition which may lead to dependence on that need, and ultimately, continual dissatisfaction with life.

 

[#@&5&49]

How often do you feel that others lack understanding of you? Depends on the people involved and can range from all the time to hardly ever, to occasionally.

How often do you feel that you lack understanding of others? Once again it depends on the people involved. If i need to understand I will ask for clarification. If I don't need to understand I will leave it alone. And then sometimes I'll just wait for things to become more clear.

What are the limits of being understanding? I find defining and maintaining healthy boundaries work the best for me.

What are the bad aspects of being understanding? Understanding without healthy boundaries.

If you have this power to -force-; whether it's other people's understanding of you or vice versa, how often would you use it?
Would you use it at all? Why? Stuff is going to happen or not happen whether we try to force it or not. I have found it's better to just let things run there course, whatever that is. Usually when I try to force it, I just end up making the situation worse.

Is there any point where it starts becoming toxic? Once again, it's about boundaries.

Your questions would make a good poll.

 

[JGirl]

How often do you feel that others lack understanding of you?
always

How often do you feel that you lack understanding of others?
rarely

What are the limits of being understanding?
not sure what you mean here. i don't think there are any limits to being understanding. there shouldn't be anyway

What are the bad aspects of being understanding?
none. i may not like what i come to understand but at least i understand it

If you have this power to -force-; whether it's other people's understanding of you or vice versa, how often would you use it?
i want to say never, but i probably would use it in cases of dire importance.

Is there any point where it starts becoming toxic?
i don't think it can be toxic to be understanding of another person. i think it's more toxic not to be.

 

[endersgone]

How often do you feel that others lack understanding of you?
Pretty often... most of the time.

How often do you feel that you lack understanding of others?
I do my best to understand others, it doesn't always work out... but for the most part I think I do pretty good job.

What are the limits of being understanding?
What [MENTION=1669]Ame[/MENTION] said

What are the bad aspects of being understanding?
I'd say that being understanding can be very draining, trying to place yourself in some else's "shoes" can be quite tiresome. I do my best to accomodate/ uplift those close to me, but beyond that it can be very draining... I do my best, but it's often times not enough.

If you have this power to -force-; whether it's other people's understanding of you or vice versa, how often would you use it?

Would you use it at all? Why?

TBH, I would probably use such a power oftenly... I often times crave understanding more than any material object/or other human interaction, to share my knowledge, experience, perspective with others...it would certainly be nice to have it recognized/understood.

Is there any point where it starts becoming toxic?
Of course, anything can be toxic... if you become wrapped up in that need you can lose track of your own motivations/sense of self in the process... basically the opposite of your original intention.

 

[JGirl]

after reading everyone's responses so far i wonder if understanding is being considered the same as acceptance or condoning a behavior or attitude.
to me it's not.
i can be understanding of what someone is going through or doing/feeling without being okay with it. the only thing that would be toxic would be if i allowed my own biases and feelings take control.

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood"
Stephen Covey

"Feel with your heart, but think with your head"
JGirl

 

[Trifoilum]

after reading everyone's responses so far i wonder if understanding is being considered the same as acceptance or condoning a behavior or attitude.
to me it's not.

Yeah;
understanding does not mean acceptance, personally speaking.

 

[#@&5&49]

after reading everyone's responses so far i wonder if understanding is being considered the same as acceptance or condoning a behavior or attitude.
to me it's not.
i can be understanding of what someone is going through or doing/feeling without being okay with it. the only thing that would be toxic would be if i allowed my own biases and feelings take control.

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood"
Stephen Covey

"Feel with your heart, but think with your head"
JGirl

I was thinking about several things when answering. One, I just hired a guy to do some work on my house and he did a crummy job. I understand why he did it, but I'm still pissed. I think you're right that understanding and condoning is an important distinction to make. I mean I can sympathize and empathize with someone, but how I respond depends on the situation as a whole, not necessarily perceiving "understanding" as a blanket response. I actually had to look up the literal meaning of the word "understanding" before I could answer the questions.

 

[AKM]

How often do you feel that others lack understanding of you?
Most of the time
How often do you feel that you lack understanding of others?
A lot of the time
What are the limits of being understanding?
My thought process seems so different from everyone else's that I have a hard time knowing where they are coming from.
What are the bad aspects of being understanding?
Being understanding is often mistaken for acceptance of the thought, when it may only mean tollerance of a difference.
If you have this power to -force-; whether it's other people's understanding of you or vice versa, how often would you use it?
Would you use it at all? Why?
I might use it to force others understanding of me, but likely only when at an absolute loss and something negative is going to happen if I can't get them to understand what I'm saying. I would probably use it more frequently to understand others. It could be an aid in assisting others.

Is there any point where it starts becoming toxic?
Not being understood and not understanding both are quite toxic. It often gets me to a point of feeling hopeless.