Truly Kind and Gentle People

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Flavus Aquila said:
Are implicitly kind people rare? ... I mean people who never have a snarky, annoyed look, or word for anyone.

People always seem to have a kindly bias towards others who are variously; useful, agree with them, are agreeable, are interesting, who they pity, who they love, vulnerable, etc. What about people who are kind to everyone without exception?

..

I think such people are very rare and I'm always stunned and delighted to know they exist.
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I don't think they exist.

Nobody's farts smell like lavender.
 
I think kind and gental people are rare. The universe (of which earth is an infinitesimal part) is hostile to life. In other words kind and gental people...the inclination does not last long because it cannot without constant tending.
 
I don't think they are that rare. I'm thinking of all the genuinely kind people I know and have met. That said, people do have a breaking point and I've seen some very nice people snap. I don't think it discredits them. Just makes them human.
 
acd said:
I don't think they are that rare. I'm thinking of all the genuinely kind people I know and have met. That said, people do have a breaking point and I've seen some very nice people snap. I don't think it discredits them. Just makes them human.
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Did you get slapped by a saint?
 
Flavus Aquila said:
Still trying to buy in. :p
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How's this for gentle and kind?

raw
 
Maybe I'm thinking about this wrong. Your OP sounds like maybe an idealization of the ultimate nice person. I'm not sure such a person exists--someone who never shows frustration or anger. Even very nice people have bad days. Even Jesus flipped the money changers tables over.
 
acd said:
Maybe I'm thinking about this wrong. Your OP sounds like maybe an idealization of the ultimate nice person. I'm not sure such a person exists--someone who never shows frustration or anger. Even very nice people have bad days. Even Jesus flipped the money changers tables over.
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I don't doubt that kind people flip out from time to time, but I get the impression (just the impression), that it is not motivated or coloured by unkindness: that the flip out is almost an intense lament that people are self destructive, or cruel.

The money changers were ultimately corrupting themselves more than the Temple. (The soul is the temple of God).

(I do admit an idealized perspective, but it's the only way to explain some individuals, who defy the vast norm).
 
its hard to be kind 100%. people will tend to abuse this kindness and the people will see them as doormats or you acting stupidly.. that later results to depression or burnt out..

like @LittleLissa said earlier, life has its ways to make people learn. im sure there are a lot of genuinely kind people out there but they prefer not to be walked on all over or people abusing they're kindness so instead, they build walls or make a facade to avoid getting hurt.. or worst, just adjusts to the societies' normal behaviour. :pensive:
 
There's a lot to be said about this topic honestly.

Snark is a useful tool in creating a sense of kindness. When done correctly, it is not harmful to the other person, at least not harmful enough for any lasting feelings about it.
I think a lot, a whole lot of people aim for the ideal of a kind and gentle person. Some people carry an attitude against geniality as a response to the world's harshness.
Sometimes this response is necessary, but more often than not it is not required. We are all hurting one another unnecessarily in most cases.
It is also easy to mix up steadiness and resistance with anger and defiance. Having some solid differentiators in your mind is helpful in the face of adversity.
But also, human emotion sometimes fluctuates regardless of circumstance. You are no less a robot being 100% kind as you are 100% neutral.
Fluctuation is sexy. Neutrality and sameness are sterile. You get where I'm going here.
The best plan is to try to figure out how to fluctuate naturally while minimizing harm and I think most people subconsciously try to do this but people are all sorts of fucked up and suck at it.

Also, I think the majority of people on this forum are better at it than most. I'm not kissing ass to anyone. We all try. Keep trying.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
the flip out is almost an intense lament that people are self destructive, or cruel.
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I think this is the case for most flip outs. Unless you hit your head or something, but you wouldn't know anything about that :m131: (lament regarding actual self-destruction? hehe)
 
Bellosome said:
its hard to be kind 100%. people will tend to abuse this kindness and the people will see them as doormats or you acting stupidly.. that later results to depression or burnt out..
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Yeah, I've been used quite badly and hurt in the past because of this, walked all over and stepped on. Badly. I think I hardened a little bit because of it, but I'm still very much the same person. Many have no qualms about abusing the kindness of others, unfortunately. I would still rather be kind, than unkind, though. That being said, I'm only human. One of the things I have a hard time remaining gentle about, for instance, is when I see people being hurt. I'll remain quiet if it's just me being hurt, but if it's someone else, I am compelled to take a stand.
 
hush said:
Yeah, I've been used quite badly and hurt in the past because of this, walked all over and stepped on. Badly. I think I hardened a little bit because of it, but I'm still very much the same person. Many have no qualms about abusing the kindness of others, unfortunately. I would still rather be kind, than unkind, though. That being said, I'm only human. One of the things I have a hard time remaining gentle about, for instance, is when I see people being hurt. I'll remain quiet if it's just me being hurt, but if it's someone else, I am compelled to take a stand.
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Seems like very nice and sensitive people sometimes have to develop very thick skin.
 
acd said:
Maybe I'm thinking about this wrong. Your OP sounds like maybe an idealization of the ultimate nice person. I'm not sure such a person exists--someone who never shows frustration or anger. Even very nice people have bad days. Even Jesus flipped the money changers tables over.
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I agree. The definition of a kind person is absent in the OP. That isn't a truly kind person. There are lot of "kind" people with dirt under their smiles. They become doormats with a lot of unconscious anger and they turn that anger in towards themselves.

Frustration and annoyance are justified. An annoyed look is justified. Feeling anger is justified. Communicating this is required to be kind. How can a person be kind if they stuff all their anger and hurt into a place they don't even know it's there? It's not honest.

Surface peace isn't inner peace. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there. Suppression of feelings while maintaining surface peace is not a truly kind person if we want to talk what is true, anyway. A truly kind person has that inner peace but that doesn't mean they won't shoot you a frustrated or annoyed look or communicate honestly. That description isn't in the OP. That is false kindness.

A truly kind person speaks up for the sake of their own conscious lest they get the satisfaction of watching lives be destroyed by keeping their mouth shut, and that's vindictive. The anger is still there but by keeping your mouth shut another person is destroyed and so is everyone in their path. That's unconscious revenge. A truly kind person is honest about their feelings, communicates them, speaks up to defend themselves and others, and forgives.
 
CindyLou said:
I agree. The definition of a kind person is absent in the OP. That isn't a truly kind person. There are lot of "kind" people with dirt under their smiles. They become doormats with a lot of unconscious anger and they turn that anger in towards themselves.

Frustration and annoyance are justified. An annoyed look is justified. Feeling anger is justified. Communicating this is required to be kind. How can a person be kind if they stuff all their anger and hurt into a place they don't even know it's there? It's not honest.

Surface peace isn't inner peace. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there. Suppression of feelings while maintaining a peaceful exterior is not a truly kind person if we want to talk what is true, anyway. A truly kind person has that inner peace but that doesn't mean they won't shoot you a frustrated or annoyed look or communicate honestly. That description isn't in the OP. That is false kindness.

A truly kind person speaks up for the sake of their own conscious lest they get the satisfaction of watching lives be destroyed by keeping their mouth shut, and that's vindictive. The anger is still there but by keeping your mouth shut another person is destroyed and so is everyone in their path. That's unconscious revenge. A truly kind person is honest about their feelings, communicates them, speaks up to defend themselves and others, and forgives.
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Also, and I'm thinking out loud...creating consequences isn't anger and it's not revenge imo.

And also again, with the Jesus/moneychangers..etc.. God said that vengeance is for Him, but if that is true I'd rather face a vengeful person than a vengeful God. Sometimes it might be more merciful to create consequences for a person now than let life/God balance the scales later?

I don't know.
 
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