true love | INFJ Forum

true love

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Morgain, May 21, 2010.

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  1. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    How many of you have loved are have been loved by someone like the stories tell you: deep, passionate, connected on all levels: body, mind and soul, ment for eachother, as one, never to be parted ... you know what I'm talking about?

    and is that person your current wive/husband?

    it seems that everyone crave for such a love, being loved like this but hardly find it. Is this true? Does it excist or is it a fairytall?And is it true that most people settle for a lesser kind of love just to be with someone, to have childeren and a relationship, or do they just don't want more than that?

    For me there seem to be two kind of loves, or I fall in love with someone deeply passionately all the way, or someon grows on me, I appreciate him, start to cultivate some love in a partnering kind of way, but I will never love him in a breathtaking way.

    I know I can love someone in this way but I can't find anyone who loves me back in this way. Am I asking for to much? Should I just settle with the lesser kind of love?
     
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  2. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
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    Hi...yes true love exists...Yes I have had it...No i am not married to that person as he died...

    does it happen again? yes...

    Believe in it Morgain...
     
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  3. bamf

    bamf Is Watching You
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    Agreed. Don't sell yourself short and look for the easy "love."

    I have confidence that you'll find what you're looking for. I know those seem like empty words, but I really do. I'd hate to see you settle. You're deserving of so much more than that. Sometimes you really do have to wait for the best things, and then they come raging into your life when you aren't looking for them.
     
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  4. Skoffin

    Skoffin <font color=#00EE99>She Whose Name We Do Not Speak

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    No no, he clearly said "to blave"! and as we all know, to blave means to bluff! So you were probably playing cards, and he cheated!

    Sorry, I can't hear 'true love' without immediately saying that line in my mind.
     
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  5. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
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    HAHAH! I love that scene!
     
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  6. Blind Bandit

    Blind Bandit Blind Man Being Lead to Nowhere
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    I don't know but I've never had a true love or one that I was able to keep. I wonder if it even exists.
     
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  7. On my own path

    On my own path Community Member

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    I believe true love does exist. It may not be common, it may see impossible; but I believe it does exist. It may sound weird, overly idealistic or irrational but I feel it my heart that somewhere out there it exists, that two people are looking into each other's eyes and feeling that warm, sweet connection that is so coveted and yearned by so many countless hearts and souls.

    My advice would be to keep on believing in it. In a race the finish line may beyond our grasp and sight but to stop in one's tracks is to never meet it. Perhaps one just needs to keep on moving hoping that one day, one moment one finds what one set out to find
     
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  8. Betteralone

    Betteralone Regular Poster

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    I just don't know. I want to believe that I will find my soul mate, but part of me believes it is only a fairytale. Part of me believes that it is possible, just that no one else understands how I feel, and that it is very rare.

    I too want what you describe, that amazing deep passionate love. That connection with someone that is impossible to describe unless you yourself experience it. Where you can just hold each other and FEEL the love, the connection. I've come to think that we, INFJ's, may be the only ones that feel on such a level. I think everyone wants true love, but not like we do. Not on the same level that we do. I know your desire.

    I have loved, but I don't think it has been that real, true love, and I will never settle. I would rather be alone than with someone I can not truly completely connect with and love.

    I want a fairytale ending! :love:
     
  9. jimtaylor

    On Holiday

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    I believe it exists because I have felt. No I am not married because we are too young and I refuse to get married tell I am finished with school but I everytime I see her I just feel great. Everytime I kiss her it's like the first time, everytime I hold onto her I don't want to let go and everything else is just as breathtaking and heartpounding. I mean just thinking about it gets my heart racing now. So I know it is real and she feels the same way about me but just in a different way.
     
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  10. OP
    Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    this is what I needed to hear :D lol!

    everyone around me gives the opposite advice. true love is a fairytall, you can wait your hole life for it and never find it. You should be less picky and settle with a good man, there are so many good man around (what about ...??) ... and do it quickly, biological clock and all.... :shocked:
    Only the idea of settling with a man I don't truely love just to fit into the "man, house, child" lifestyle and not being alone anymore gives me a bad feeling inside. I think I wil dry up and live a passionless, unimaginative, pre-programmed for the rest of my life, with a man who doesn't appreciate my inside. I can't do that, my intuition says no. And evertime that I followed my intuition end went against common sense I was rewarded. But I'm still afraid to end up alone. Even in a passionless mariage I'll have childeren to love ...

    I hear you. I also have the impression that the majoroty is satisfied with a lesser kind of love. Do you also have that "society talking it out of your head" kind of problems and how do you deal with them?
     
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  11. Betteralone

    Betteralone Regular Poster

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    MorgainI hear you. I also have the impression that the majoroty is satisfied with a lesser kind of love. Do you also have that "society talking it out of your head" kind of problems and how do you deal with them?[/QUOTE]

    I guess you could interpret it that way. I get the impression that society just doesn't care about it any more. They don't even think about true love, commitment and marriage. It is now totally acceptable to just live with someone until ur sick of them. ***Sure, get married, you can always get a divorce.*** It really breaks my heart. Love and marriage are so much more. It is a lifetime promise to stand by their side no matter what, to actually share not just life, but yourself with each other. But people are just all about themselves in today's world. It's instant gratification for ME, NOW. And we all wonder why everyone seems more and more unhappy.:sad:
     
  12. middle1

    middle1 Hellur

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    Don't settle for anything less than lovelovelove. You just haven't met the right person yet!
     
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  13. That Girl

    That Girl Do you have my answers?
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    I think you make true love through hard work. A relationship needs to be built on stable ground and through careful nurturing it has the ability to grow into two soul-mates. There isn't just one person for you Morgain, there are hundreds and they're just waiting for you to find them. Men are like that. They think they do all the work of starting a relationship except they don't do any of it. =)>
     
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  14. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I know what you're talking about.
    I have felt that I have had the type of love you're talking about.


    It didn't last.

    It's still kind of a mystery to me how two people can feel that way for one another and then just... not.

    I learned to not put too much stock into my unbridled passions.

    Can you ever truly love anyone 'breathtakingly' for the rest of your life? Can you sustain one emotion that long?

    Relationships can't be all feelings.

    I wouldn't call the slow steady growing to love a "lesser" type of love. That type of love to me, seems more stable.

    I'm not telling you to settle though. I'm just suggesting that the expectation of this ecstatic love finding you is not totally realistic.

    You'll have those blissful moments with someone though, and they'll make it worth getting through hard times.
     
    #14 acd, May 22, 2010
    Last edited: May 22, 2010
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  15. Durandal

    Durandal Newbie

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    You don't have to feel something to know it exists. Most emotions and scenarios can be considered a priori knowledge if you rationalize enough. Logically speaking, of course it can exist. A lot of people fall for limerence, however, which should not always be counted on for finding romance and is very difficult to distinguish between the two sometimes.

    In order to love someone else you truly have to love yourself first. And by that, you must possess a full sense of dignity and understanding of your own nature, so you can completely benefit from having a relationship with someone else. A major factor in distinguishing true love from limerence is time, I feel.
     
  16. rbecca23

    rbecca23 Regular Poster

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    As Tim Allen once said:

    Never give up; never surrender.

    Don't settle. Do not settle. Everyone deserves to be deliriously happy with their significant other. If you have doubts, don't let them fester, listen to them. I'm speaking from experience. Follow through with what *you* want, with who you want to be with and don't stop searching till you find them. Just learn to be yourself.
     
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  17. Gaze

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    Agree.

    Now, I can't speak about what i've never experienced. I think finding "love" is less about finding it than about whether we're prepared for what it really entails. I think I was and have been so engrossed the idea of being in love that I was definitely clueless about the realities which may come with it. So, even if we do find that "true love," does it mean we can handle the committment and responsibilities which come with it? For myself, I can't answer that question, although i'd love to give a resounding yes. I still have too many naive misconceptions about "love" floating around in my head which make me question readiness for anything like it. So, i'm not in a rush to find "love". And even if I did find it, i'd probably sacrifice too much of myself to have or keep it, and I'm not about do that at this point in my life. Can't afford the compromise.

    Nice.
     
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    #17 Gaze, May 22, 2010
    Last edited: May 22, 2010
  18. The Jester

    Why would you settle for something you don't want? Seriously, what's wrong with dying alone?
    Noone will ever nag you, you'll have solitude, ... You can do whatever the hell you want. Instead of being miserable with someone you don't like that much. It's useless of settling with a person you don't love, because the only reason people settle with others is BECAUSE they love the person. If you take away the reason, there's no use for settling down with someone.

    Hey, society wants me to be party and drink alcohol, but what do I do on a friday night? That's right, I chat and have a wank.

    You don't need to give in to that peer pressure. Be strong.
    [​IMG]

    Silly morgain, we're already overpopulated.

    Why would you listen to anyone if they say such things? If you're really sure you're right, then stick to your guns damnit.

    Okay, let's agree that there is a general feeling like that you describe. Why would you give in if that's not what you want?
     
  19. The Jester

    To draw away the attention of my serious post:

    My thai wife says she loves me, but I think she's just in it for the money.
     
  20. OP
    Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    I would never go into a relationship with someone I don't care for. But there are many kinds of love, and I can imagine settling with a man I do care for and love in a certain way but who has never blown me off my feet and for who I don't get butterflies in my stomach every time he looks at me. My question is, how much love can you expect for, maybe I'm expecting to much of it? I'm just trying to figure out here whether I am right in wanting to wait for true love.

    that is a big issue of mine too. The more in love I am the more of myself I'm willing to sacrifice. I think for true love I would give my soul just for the feeling of blending together. :D
     
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