Thoughts on Diamonds? | INFJ Forum

Thoughts on Diamonds?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Sloe Djinn, May 16, 2017.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 11 users.
More threads by Sloe Djinn
  1. Sloe Djinn

    Sloe Djinn Idiot with Internet Access.

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2010
    Threads:
    129
    Messages:
    4,938
    Featured Threads:
    9
    Likes Received:
    8,945
    Trophy Points:
    877
    MBTI:
    SOCMOB
    Enneagram:
    .
    So long story short, after dragging my feet for quite some time out of resentment for an "antiquated" gesture of love, I'm finally giving in and hunting for a diamond. I have some questions:

    1) What are your thoughts in general on the idea of diamond rings? I feel like it should never be a required proof of love, but on the other hand, I can also appreciate some symbolic tradition at face value, and I'm slowly coming around to this one. [I feel like I should clarify that my partner has in no way insinuated that this is proof of love.]

    2) For those of you who have bought one, did you obsess over the finer details i.e. cut, clarity, flourescence, carat, color, price? Is there a point at which it fails to be noticeable?

    3) For those of you who wear one, same as #2

    Any other thoughts on the subject?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #1 Sloe Djinn, May 16, 2017
    Last edited: May 16, 2017
  2. Eventhorizon

    Eventhorizon Permanently relocated
    Banned

    Joined:
    May 19, 2013
    Threads:
    251
    Messages:
    16,553
    Featured Threads:
    31
    Likes Received:
    10,276
    Trophy Points:
    2,187
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    INTJ
    Don't listen to me.

    They are over priced pieces of carbon which can easily and cheaply be made these days.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  3. 5r6jhd

    5r6jhd I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2012
    Threads:
    119
    Messages:
    3,224
    Featured Threads:
    6
    Likes Received:
    3,854
    Trophy Points:
    798
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Ireland
    MBTI:
    ENFJ
    Enneagram:
    2
    As a lady, I think engagement rings are important.

    As a sensible lady, I think people spend far too much money,

    Diamonds are over rated and over priced. i really wouldn't bother with "real" diamonds. You can buy man made much cheaper if its really a diamond you want. Another diamond substitute, and a personal favourite of mine is moissanite. Much cheaper than diamonds, just as hard and actually more brillant. A very durable and beautiful diamond substitute.

    Have you discussed rings with your lady? Some women actually prefer colored stones and alternative engagement rings are becoming more popular.

    As for cut, I would discuss that with with the person you're buying for. It's a personal preference.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    INFJ16, CindyLou, Kgal and 7 others like this.
  4. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
    Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2016
    Threads:
    79
    Messages:
    9,292
    Featured Threads:
    9
    Likes Received:
    44,864
    Trophy Points:
    3,110
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    MBTI:
    INFJ-t
    Enneagram:
    2w1, 2w3
    My 2☆cents
    Wishing you a beautiful future.

    Diamonds, like love, can be overrated. I am a pearl-girl. Pearl and opal to me are much more fetching than diamonds...everybody does diamonds, it's more important to cut away, stand out, and do what's unique to the testimony of you and your intended's love. :D
     
  5. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Threads:
    76
    Messages:
    7,086
    Featured Threads:
    23
    Likes Received:
    42,254
    Trophy Points:
    2,481
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    5
    The recipient's opinion about diamonds far outweighs any of our opinions.

    Many women expect a diamond.
    My sibling's wife doesn't have the diamond tradition in her country. She wears a stunning emerald.
    I told my husband not to get me a diamond under any circumstance. The diamond I later inherited is a family heirloom. I don't wear it.
     
  6. Littlelissa

    Littlelissa Well-known member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2016
    Threads:
    21
    Messages:
    4,232
    Featured Threads:
    6
    Likes Received:
    14,030
    Trophy Points:
    1,831
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w3
    Nice.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Sloe Djinn, Gaze and invisible like this.
  7. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,381
    Messages:
    28,278
    Featured Threads:
    94
    Likes Received:
    22,818
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Depends on the motive or intention behind the gift. I don't think someone should have to spend an entire paycheck to buy an engagement ring, but I do think that usually someone who wants to make an impression and make their loved one feel special is not or should not go the cheapest route.

    Granted, if someone gave me a ring with a huge diamond on it, I'd probably think it overdone. I'd rather they give me a ring with a precious stone I personally like or adore e.g. agate or a stone your partner loves interlaced with diamond in the design rather than a huge diamond that calls attention to itself like a flashing light.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  8. invisible

    On Holiday

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2009
    Threads:
    225
    Messages:
    9,054
    Featured Threads:
    8
    Likes Received:
    9,919
    Trophy Points:
    1,329
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Avalon Archipelago
    MBTI:
    none
    I used to be crazy about this stone, now not so much, but I still think it's very pretty. My mother has a family heirloom round cut solitaire, it's not huge at all but I remember as a child it casts rainbows and when you look in it you can see a lot of different coloured lights and shapes. That is so damn pretty. I want to get it refashioned for her.

    When I think about precious stones the thing that comes most to mind for me is the provenance. But you can get an antique one or I've also heard of ethical traders.

    I'm aware that these aren't as fashionable as they used to be, people see their rarity as being a commercially manufactured mirage, which is fair. But I think it just depends what the individual prefers. Many people will still have their reasons for preferring diamond to other stones. It's still 10 on the Mohs scale. Um, I guess I admit that I love diamond.
     
  9. OP
    Sloe Djinn

    Sloe Djinn Idiot with Internet Access.

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2010
    Threads:
    129
    Messages:
    4,938
    Featured Threads:
    9
    Likes Received:
    8,945
    Trophy Points:
    877
    MBTI:
    SOCMOB
    Enneagram:
    .
    Preach it brother! However, love ain't rational.

    Totally agree with the stigma about real diamonds, and yeah the synthetic ones tend to be way more brilliant. I think the preferred cut is round.

    Thanks Sandie. It kind of reminds me of the Audi commercial where they're claiming that all the other crossover utility vehicles are the same, but then there's the Audi, and it's shot to make you feel like the Audi stands out, but it's actually the same as all the others.

    I've always been fascinated by other precious stones like rubies and emeralds. I think the heirloom factor may be part of the appeal as well. In my partner's family, her grandmother's went to her older sibling. There isn't one in my family.

    Thx =)

    Yeah Gale, I don't really want to go the cheapest route either. I mean, she gave some examples. I ordered one within those standards and upon inspection noticed that it was really dull and flawed. I sent it back. I think that's kind of where I caught the bug myself.

    I totally look for what you mentioned with regard to the rainbows and sparkle factor invisible, and that really kind of pushes me off the deep end to where I'm poring over stats and maybe putting in more effort than will be needed or noticed.

    It means enough to her that she put some of her own money towards whatever I get. She understood that money doesn't grow on trees. At this point I've gone quite a ways beyond that, due in part to feeling lame were she to pay the lion's share for her own ring, and also due in part to my own sudden hobbyist obsession with traits that she may not even care about.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    infinite dreams, INFJ16, Gaze and 6 others like this.
  10. OP
    Sloe Djinn

    Sloe Djinn Idiot with Internet Access.

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2010
    Threads:
    129
    Messages:
    4,938
    Featured Threads:
    9
    Likes Received:
    8,945
    Trophy Points:
    877
    MBTI:
    SOCMOB
    Enneagram:
    .
    We're going backwards btw. Second kid's on the way. Now marriage, and maybe next we'll go steady! X)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    CindyLou, Kgal, Gaze and 7 others like this.
  11. Wyote

    Wyote Xenoi
    Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2008
    Threads:
    242
    Messages:
    35,829
    Featured Threads:
    19
    Likes Received:
    190,295
    Trophy Points:
    4,271
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    Ni Space
    Enneagram:
    9 Seas
    Just to sort of echo what others have said- it's more important to get something your partner is comfortable with. It's easy to get lost in all the particulars of diamonds and wanting to spend just a little more for a little bit better. That's really how they get you tbh. There's always a better one for just a little more money so your pocketbook threshold can get taken to the limit. It's better to pick your exact price cap and then find the best one at that price that meets all your criteria.

    That all being said, I appreciate a good diamond as much as any other gemstone but I don't really put it in a higher category. There are more interesting materials to me personally, but they are cool. Just a bad history with them unfortunately.

    Many things can symbolize love. I think it's silly to place a diamond in a singular category for this as we've somewhat done. It sounds like that's not really the case with you and you'd be getting as an additional gesture which I think is entirely fine. We buy all sorts of ridiculous things for ourselves and others, a diamond is just another thing. If the intent is good and it is received in kind then it is an acceptable gift. Though I would encourage you buy from a good source if possible.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #11 Wyote, May 17, 2017
    Last edited: May 17, 2017
    INFJ16, CindyLou, Sloe Djinn and 5 others like this.
  12. @Sloe Djinn If you're gonna buy me diamonds, please make sure it's on a choker rather than on a ring :tonguewink: Congrats to you both.

    I like diamonds just as much as any other precious stones but dislike how so much fuss is made of engagement rings (partly to do with the expectations, the symbolic cultural conformity and the practicality of wearing it). My poor husband was slightly taken back when I said I didn't want to go engagement ring shopping and to this day, I refuse to wear one.
     
  13. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Threads:
    76
    Messages:
    7,086
    Featured Threads:
    23
    Likes Received:
    42,254
    Trophy Points:
    2,481
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    5
    Going steady after being married for a while is the best part.



    Edit: While we're on the subject, and per @Wyote's post about "things" - I know a person whose mom asked for go-go boots instead of a ring. :D Haha! Engagement go-go boots!
     
    #13 Asa, May 17, 2017
    Last edited: May 17, 2017
    Sloe Djinn, Gaze and Littlelissa like this.
  14. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
    Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2016
    Threads:
    79
    Messages:
    9,292
    Featured Threads:
    9
    Likes Received:
    44,864
    Trophy Points:
    3,110
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    MBTI:
    INFJ-t
    Enneagram:
    2w1, 2w3
    Yea...I see how it could look like a commercial. However in my defense I'm a romantic hound (yes, dog, lol, I love romance) I'm sure y'all will be happy with your choice, be sure to deliver it with a lot of va-va-voom and fanfare :p
     
    Sloe Djinn and Gaze like this.
  15. Sensiko

    Sensiko Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2011
    Threads:
    21
    Messages:
    1,393
    Likes Received:
    729
    Trophy Points:
    672
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4
    ask the salesman what the best ring is and then buy it :)
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Wyote, Gaze and Sloe Djinn like this.
  16. Kgal

    Kgal Magic Star Dust
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2010
    Threads:
    77
    Messages:
    11,474
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    6,703
    Trophy Points:
    1,215
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Texasssss.
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9 Mediator
    No. No...and No.
    Don't buy in to the whole scam and awful misery revolving around diamonds.

    Dream up something else romantic to symbolize your love...for your beautiful partner....for the beautiful home of this planet...and for the beautiful children created by your love.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  17. OP
    Sloe Djinn

    Sloe Djinn Idiot with Internet Access.

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2010
    Threads:
    129
    Messages:
    4,938
    Featured Threads:
    9
    Likes Received:
    8,945
    Trophy Points:
    877
    MBTI:
    SOCMOB
    Enneagram:
    .
    ME WANT SHINY!!! TAKE ALL MONEY!!!
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    INFJ16, Sensiko, Gaze and 1 other person like this.
  18. OP
    Sloe Djinn

    Sloe Djinn Idiot with Internet Access.

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2010
    Threads:
    129
    Messages:
    4,938
    Featured Threads:
    9
    Likes Received:
    8,945
    Trophy Points:
    877
    MBTI:
    SOCMOB
    Enneagram:
    .
    True. The little price sliders go well into the multi-millions and some of what is accumulated could definitely go to more practical needs, like ULTRA COUCH

    [​IMG]
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  19. Wyote

    Wyote Xenoi
    Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2008
    Threads:
    242
    Messages:
    35,829
    Featured Threads:
    19
    Likes Received:
    190,295
    Trophy Points:
    4,271
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    Ni Space
    Enneagram:
    9 Seas
    Ultra couch beats diamond any day imho
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Eventhorizon, Sandie33 and Gaze like this.
  20. Archer

    Archer Newbie

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2017
    Threads:
    1
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    129
    Trophy Points:
    568
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    INFJ - A
    I think it's a fair trade, you give a pile of paper to get a piece of shiny rock.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Sloe Djinn likes this.
Loading...

Share This Page