@Skarekrow First of all, thank you for taking the time to write all of that. Really means a lot that you shared your thoughts on this, they are very relatable, to say the least
I also find myself thinking about shit like this, you know? Maybe too much. It does take a certain type of mentality and perhaps personality to talk about these subjects without coming off as overly morbid, but for some reason it gives me comfort. Most people don't understand, however, which is why I abstain nowadays in having these types of conversations and just ask about the weather haha
I've also heard numerous accounts of people describing their NDEs. That stuff is fascinating! So you can rest assure that I'll be seeing that documentary you posted

You said that you had some experiences with near death experiences yourself, if they're not too personal, could you share some of them? I had one in particular, which was very peculiar:
It happened when I was 19 years of age, and it involved a sort of dream. In this dream I had no form, just my consciousness spread everywhere in the vast reaches of space. I've never taken drugs or anything like that, so no, I wasn't high

It felt very real, which led me to the question we're having today, "what does it all mean?" "what is death?" etc. The fact that I didn't know how to look for an answer made me frustrated. Going back to the dream: I didn't have any thoughts, feelings or a sense of self. My consciousness was dispersed throughout the cosmos, and I felt at home. From that point on, I had a "knowing" that that's where I belong. Anyway, I'm bringing this up because I think I may have experienced death at that time. If that's the journey that awaits us after we leave these vessels, I don't think we have nothing to be frightened of. Of course, I can't be sure what that experience was, and like you said, we have to be open to other interpretations and stay flexible that everything is possible once we stop breathing. Maybe we just become worm food, or perhaps we're inside a simulation, or maybe, just maybe there's a god that created us. However, the short answer is "I don't have a clue". (That surely hasn't stopped us from wondering, though, huh? lol)
I've also been quite puzzled by the concept of god recently from a more technical stand point? What or who is god? Most would say, "The Creator of life and the Universe, of course!". Okay, that just says what he did, but it doesn't say anything about what It is. Is it a person that has a beard and wears white robes? Is it goo? What
is it? This lack of definition of what god is has left me considering that ignoticism is a better term to describe myself than an agnostic.
Anyway, I think I'm rambling way too much at this point, I'm going to stop lol. Just wanted to get a better idea of your experiences and thoughts on the subject.
Awesome post man!!
My thread Merkabah is the largest thread on the whole forum (yes I am proud of that fact, lol), besides a blog of musings and thoughts, ideas, etc., it is basically a collection of articles that seek to answer such unanswerable questions, in the most provable way possible (at least that is my intention)...there are many links to actual scientific studies that dare to push against the taboo.
But it’s full of goofy shit and all manner of whatnot too.
I try to answer those questions of life after death and PSI type all the way to magic, UFOs and more spiritual things, along with studies done by the science community...not only because I find it fascinating as you also say you do too (rad!), but for me, it’s like the last unknown territory that is yet to be discovered and understood...these phenomena do happen and exist and yet we ignore it because we don’t have a good working model of how such things could occur!
I have not had an NDE....but have gone OOB ever since I was a kid.
I almost had a death experience a couple years ago when some meds they put me on basically gave me a medication induced equivalent of a heart attack - actually one of my thoughts was “I know I read a lot about life after death and study it and near death experiences....but I don’t really want one myself right now!”
I never lost consciousness thank goodness...dunno how I didn’t, or I didn’t have a stoke either....my heart rate was less than 30 and my blood pressure with 220/110...man that was fucked up.
But the only things that mattered to me in that moment were my loved ones...they were all I cared about or thought about.
I can read a 12-lead EKG well enough to know that any moment I was dead.
Somehow, it never happened though.
At age 19 I attempted suicide and almost made it...lol...it’s not funny, but it is to me now personally as I would never do such a thing ever.
I was put on Paxil...and you know how they have that warning about suicidal tendencies and how they stopped prescribing it to teenagers because they were all killing themselves - I was almost part of that statistic...this was 1996 keep in mind...dated myself, damn.
I parked under an overpass in a car lot that was full of old junkers...and my car at the time was a 1981 Toyota Cressida with a big dent in the fender...lol.
I thought no one would find me in time.
I cut my arms...very deep...I actually stabbed the knife into my forearm and then worked it to the side let’s see (counting scars) at least 5 times.
As I waited to die I remember feeling like people would understand...that if there was a God that he would certainly understand the incredible pain I was feeling inside my core...if anyone knew how I felt, then is was surely him - and then how could he ever punish me for this act knowing how I felt...I was crying but I was also feeling peace in my heart knowing that, or knowing that the suffering would end soon...I knew I wouldn’t go to any “Hell”.
Instead I woke up in the ICU...ugh.
Someone probably breaking into cars found me passed out and called the cops, who called the ambulance, etc. etc.
My Dad is passed on now...but his face when he came into my room I will never forget (It makes me cry even now as I type), it was one of only maybe 3 times I have ever seen my father cry in my life.
After a week they sent me to the mental hospital for a week long fun filled time, where I was diagnosed as “severely depressed”, oh fucking really?!
Thanks Doc.
When my Mom picked me up...the REM song “Everybody hurts” started on the radio...and not my fav band, it was perfectly fitting.
They put me on fucking lithium...which I took for 3 months, then began to get weird twitches and tossed the rest in the trash.
Now that I wasn’t on Paxil or anything...I started to feel better and broke out of the depression cloud I was under at the time.
My Mom wrote down a list of everyone who’s life I would have effected had I died...it was multiple pages long and really woke me up.
While I was passed out, I don’t remember having any experiences.
There have been reports of suicide NDEs, some have been positive and some not so much...but the majority were not hellfire but forgiveness.
Interestingly the consensus seems to be that if you kill yourself you have to come back and relive your life from the point where you died (you don’t have to start from the beginning again thankfully!) and the rest of your life must be lived as it was intended before you interrupted the “plan” whatever the hell that is.
Anyway...I don’t have a clue either...I’m searching though.
I don't hold a specific belief, but I have hope that it will be illuminating, a whole new universe (or in fact multiverse) to explore. However, I will not let it keep me from enjoying to live life to the fullest. At least no more than I already do by myself
I agree with that entire statement!
Totally.
You’re awesome.