The Extra Extrovert in the Equation

[Saru Inc]

So, I realized tonight that I'm about 90% sure I'm an extrovert now. Lets recap over my "apparent" mbti types, in realistic time scale:


April 2010: ISFJ
May 2010: INFJ
October 2010: INFP
November 2010: ENFP
December 2010: ENFP/INTJ/ENTJ *LOL*/ESTP/ESFP *LOL*/ISFJ
January 2011: INFJ
Mid January 2011: ENFJ
Mid March 2011: INFJ
June 2011: ENFJ

People have been telling me I'm an extrovert for like, 8 months now. I never took their word for it, EVAR. Reason being? I've never, NEVER considered myself an extravert. I've always been the little quiet dude in the back reading a book, or who might peep a word or two, I've been the guy who sucks at making conversation, and is too busy off in his la la world to care about the people in front of him. Hate parties, hate stupid people, hate pretentious people, hate midgets because their midget eyes cause miscarriages (source: Archer), but most of all, I've hated myself because I've never been able to be comfortable aroudn other people, and thats all I've ever wanted to be. The homophobic community I've grown up in, made me so ashamed to breathe that I've breathed in through fake masks and that exhausts me. The facade exhausts me, not the people. I didn't realize this, because I have this facade up in front of everyone, even my best friend [MENTION=2873]Serenity[/MENTION] or my family of 20 years, I've NEVER been actually real with someone, and I'm not sure I ever will. That is what tires me, not the person.

So on a scale of 1 to 10 on extroverted scale, I'm probably a 2. Of quiet ones.



So thats my anecdote, the reason I put this in this topic, is because I was curious as to your *personal* criteria for what makes one/or yourself introverted or extroverted. Don't care what the books say or nothing, and if you say "my personal belief is -copy and paste definition-" then ima get you. IF you had never read about JCF or the phenomena of the MBTI, what makes you think you're an I over an E? I mean, I don't ever hang out with people after work or anything, nor do I ever speak really, and I am an E as per JCF. So, just want your criteria. I expect a lot of peoples answers are going to be similar, but try not to +1 this thread to its most likely soon doom.

peace.

 

[acd]

No one is entirely introverted or extroverted.. I get very bored if I am alone for too long (which usually constitutes 2-3 days).. but after periods of sociability (anywhere between 3-5 days depending upon the type of interaction) I become frazzled and just want to be alone for a day or two to unwind.. I get frazzled because I start to feel like I'm not able to meditate on my own thoughts, but I have to give all of my attention to the thoughts and words of others--that's what makes me an introvert.

I am not sure which you are, saru. You seem to be pretty gregarious and outgoing online.. but it could be a different story offline. It comes down to: Are you energized by interacting with others, or does it drain you?

 

[the]

It was obvious to me that you were an extrovert the first time i watched one of your videos.

 

[VH]

I'm certainly not one to offer clarity on this matter, but keep in mind that this personality system isn't perfect, and therefore no one is going to fit it perfectly. Some people are going to fit it better than others. Some people are going to be a living stereotypes. However, some of us are just kinda in the gray areas. Most importantly, everyone uses all of the functions in varying measure. You just seem to be using more of yours.

Edit:

It was obvious to me that you were an extrovert the first time i watched one of your videos.

Oh wait. There's videos? Want me to type you?

 

[Arsal]

I don't care about things as they are, or events as they happen. I care about what I can derive from them. Everything gets filtered through a lens before it reaches my consciousness: I accept everything I want and like and reject everything that I do not want. This, to me, is the pinnacle of introversion. Having your reality based entirely around how you want it, rather than how it is.

 

[Trifoilum]

probably borderline/ambivert/X code. :|

 

[insontis]

One of us.

 

[Korg]

You may not be a genuine extrovert, just an attention whore. And I don't mean that as an insult, either. I like you, just saying you seem to need attention from people more than you need people in and of themselves.

 

[the]

You may not be a genuine extrovert, just an attention whore. And I don't mean that as an insult, either. I like you, just saying you seem to need attention from people more than you need people in and of themselves.

No fair giving away answers to your other thread.

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

In my humble opinion, extraversion is "the act, state, or habit of being predominantly concerned with and obtaining gratification from what is outside the self".[2] Extraverts tend to enjoy human interactions and to be enthusiastic, talkative, assertive, and gregarious. They take pleasure in activities that involve large social gatherings, such as parties, community activities, public demonstrations, and business or political groups. Politics, teaching, sales, managing and brokering are fields that favor extraversion. An extraverted person is likely to enjoy time spent with people and find less reward in time spent alone. They tend to be energized when around other people, and they are more prone to boredom when they are by themselves.

Whereas introversion is "the state of or tendency toward being predominantly concerned with one's own mental life".[2] Introverts are people whose energy tends to expand through reflection and dwindle during interaction.[3] Introverts tend to be more reserved and less outspoken in large groups. They often take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, music, drawing, tinkering, playing video games, watching movies and plays, and using computers, along with some more reserved outdoor activities such as fishing.[citation needed]

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

Seriously though,

I don't care about things as they are, or events as they happen. I care about what I can derive from them.
Everything gets filtered through a lens before it reaches my consciousness: I accept everything I want and like and
reject everything that I do not want. This, to me, is the pinnacle of introversion. Having your reality based entirely
around how you want it, rather than how it is.

This is like what I was saying to you - if you are E, then you will be able to react directly to the environment
without considering how it relates to your internal model, detaching from Ni. If you are I you can't really do this -
you are always inside your head, interpreting everything that comes in before you can react to it.

 

[Saru Inc]

Oh this thread wasn't about me I just like giving anecdotes to start the converstion. Was just curious what is the line you guys draw. (Directed towards those who didn't answer the question.)

[MENTION=3538]Arsal[/MENTION], that makes a lot more sense. If only you had said that earlier, well, you may have I might have missed it though. But to clarify, are you referring to for example not believing in principles and beliefs? Or something else? Like I have to figure in everything, if it exists it does so for a reason and i have to figure it out. But like I can't just ignore something. Idk we might be on different trains of thought.

 

[Majesty]

I don't exactly need people; I need entertainment. Give me action >=D
People sometimes entertain me. Being alone and watching people killing each other on TV sometimes entertain me more.

I become drained when nothing is happening, not because I'm alone.
This is why I'm not the number 1 fan of meditation, laying on the bed thinking all day or solitary walks. =P

 

[Artsu Tharaz]

This is why I'm not the number 1 fan of meditation, laying on the bed thinking all day or solitary walks. =P

But but.. those are the best parts of the day!! D=

 

[Arsal]

@Arsal, that makes a lot more sense. If only you had said that earlier, well, you may have I might have missed it though. But to clarify, are you referring to for example not believing in principles and beliefs? Or something else? Like I have to figure in everything, if it exists it does so for a reason and i have to figure it out. But like I can't just ignore something. Idk we might be on different trains of thought.

That's not what I meant exactly.

It's just... as an introvert, there is a clear distinction between my world and the "real world". I didn't think there was a distinction when I was younger, but I realized growing up that the world that I perceive is not the world everyone else lives in. It's two separate entities, one of which is derived from the other. My world is entirely subjective and my thoughts, ideas, principles and such operate in this world, not the real world.

This doesn't mean, if you are an extrovert for example, that you can't think abstractly. ENFJs do this almost as much as INFJs, questioning beliefs, morals, traditions and such. The difference is, INFJs don't care how detached they are from the real world. ENFJs care to be grounded.

Example:

INFJ: If only we were all just very nice to each other, then we could have a perfect world.
ENFJ: But that's not how it is. People aren't nice to each other.
INFJ: Yeah, but if they were...
ENFJ: Except, they aren't...

Just one example.

 

[Billy]

The way I sees it, I am the sum of my parts mentally, all together in cohesion, but I am pretty good at picking out the different parts of my mind and looking through them almost individually...

I can feel when I am lost in my mind, when I am emotionally feeling outwardly to other people, when I am building a process via logic, or just plain old exactly whats going on around me physically. I will sometimes just close my eyes and stand in my living room and reach out with my hearing powered by my imagination and get a full picture of everything thats happening around me, from the fridge humming to the techno playing on my laptop 2 rooms away, to the breeze in the trees with my windows open, the traffic on Howe Avenue, the live music playing at the mexican bar and grille not far from me, I feel like I am literally a chunk of the physical universe but I am seeing an overview of it all as well with my senses, like if a fish could watch itself from out of the fishbowl.

In that way at times I am both introverted and extroverted and since most of my mind works in conjunction with other parts of itself, there is linkage between all of it, and an ability to focus on some of it solely. I am lost in 2 worlds and in that way I do see myself like a fish outside of the fishbowl and how I am pushing my way through the air and the atoms I am consuming to sustain myself etc.

 

[Saru Inc]

Ohhhhh haha. Yea, that seems kind of stupid. (( I say that good naturedly). I mean I always figured I was infj because i absolutely see how the world could be, but I mean if we don't try to change how we are now then idealizing is nothing but a pipe dream. [MENTION=3538]Arsal[/MENTION]

 

[Arsal]

INFJ: If only we were all just very nice to each other, then we could have a perfect world.
ENFJ: But that's not how it is. People aren't nice to each other.
INFJ: Yeah, but if they were...
ENFJ: Except, they aren't...

Just one example.

I'd just like to add: the idealism is not indicative of all introverts, and the realism is not indicative of all extroverts. I was only exemplifying how I don't care if my inner world is incompatible with the external world. For example, if I feel like "being nice" is the solution, I will be nice with everyone and I will force other people to be nice with each other, regardless of whether or not it solves anything...

Of course, this would be introversion without the opposite extroverted function to balance it out. It's not this extreme usually. For INFJs, Se is the kick in the shins that brings them back to reality every so often.

ENFJs aren't more practical, they're more involved in reality. They cannot separate themselves from what "is". For example, if things aren't going right, I just disappear...or at least have an overwhelming desire to disappear. For extroverts (usually), it means, "My world is being threatened! I must fix this!". For introverts, it means "The world is bearing down upon me! I must escape!"

I don't know if that makes sense. I tried.

 

[Saru Inc]

Eh, I mean, I may be just as much wanting to escape as it is to fix it. The worst thing a person can say to me, is "I changed myself because of you." Not in a they are now a better person, but like, I made them feel unworthy sort of way.


But yes. Also, as I'm looking at the functions now, they make a lot more sense. Like, even when I thought I was infj, Si felt more comfortable in 7th, and Ne in 6th. Also as I believe [MENTION=708]VH[/MENTION] pointed out in an earlier thread, with my Se I don't want ANYTHING stopping me from doing something. Also can't stand slow people, so I hate them, but then I hate myself for hating them because I know that they aren't purposefully being slow, I know they don't know I'm in a rush because I ddon't ask them to hurry up. then I just hate them and myself.


Its a weird paradox of sorts, I want to shove everyone out of the way and go through life etc as fast as I can, but I never actuallly do, I realize now this is Dom Fe instead of introversion. But like, yeah.

I still am a quiet individual, and I totally get why people saw me as a Pe dom. I was with my ENFP sister earlier today, and I started to pay attention to how she carries herself and speaks, and I realized its EXACTLY like how my videos are.


But spot on [MENTION=3538]Arsal[/MENTION] on the following:

"They cannot separate themselves from what "is". For example, if things aren't going right, "

Absolutely. I totally can't do that. And it pisses me off when people say "well, just do it anyways! just disconnect!" Look, if I COULD, then I WOULD. Its not that I want to be connected, but I HAVE TO BE.


My bad @everyonewhosaidiwasanEbutistillsaidiwasanI I am defo an E. But again not in the extaverted sense, solely in the JCF sense.

 

[Majesty]

The worst thing a person can say to me, is "I changed myself because of you."

Because you never do that?