The experience of having a rare personality type
- Thread starter sanremi52890
- Start date
I really envy all you INFJs who live in biiig countries! I live on a tiny island, population less than a million. In my entire life, I've come across one - just one - INFJ. Actually, I've known him for years - he married my ENTP mother, whom I adore - without knowing he was an INFJ. And despite the fact that he's about 40 years older than me, we understand each other in a way I've never had with anyone else. Everyone else seems so brash and unfeeling, missing the nuances of emotion that he and I pick up on without even trying. Our conversations are like an intricate, multi-coloured dance (ok, carried away by figurative language there, but as I have synaesthesia, I have a slight excuse!), and we've even both followed the same professional path in life, starting out as English teachers and ending up as writers. Although it turns out I've surrounded myself with similar types (my two closest friends are a male INTJ and a female ENTJ), there's nothing better than finding another INFJ! We are seriously rare! Which is why I'm on this forum 
I find INFJs to be rare. They are the one type I couldn't personally think of a real life example. That is, until I one day figured out I'm one myself. That was hilarious. Since becoming aware of my cognitive set-up, I seem to be able to spot other INFJs. It's pretty obvious when you get to know them a little. They're rare, but they exist. Usually, they seem drawn to certain areas of insterest outside of which they appear mostly absent.
For me, being an INFJ means being misunderstood, and for a long time, not even understanding myself.
I think what creates such a chasm is the Ni dominance. Ni is so removed, seemingly not relatable to other persons who don't have it. I perceive a big difference even between Ni dom and aux users. The aux users I know seem grounded in conventional reality; it is their base. My base is space; it is where I'm grounded. The only thing that prevents me from taking off into space completely is other people (Fe) and physical activity (Se). It's definitely a struggle, though. I do not want to be here most of the time; I'd like to be somewhere else and every now and then come back to visit. I think that's what I'm already doing. Lol.
I tried to disclose this to a few other people. It usually earned me confused disbelief ("What?") or worried disbelief ("You have a problem."). I've stopped trying to explain myself as a general rule.
Being a rare type is one thing (ENTJs are rare; so are ENFJs). Ni dominance is is another. Would I feel out of place if 20% of the population were Ni doms? Certainly less so, but I'd still be an alien in this physical world; and I'd still feel worlds apart from the other 80% of the population.
Just to make sure: I do not believe Ni is "better" than any other function.
For me, being an INFJ means being misunderstood, and for a long time, not even understanding myself.
I think what creates such a chasm is the Ni dominance. Ni is so removed, seemingly not relatable to other persons who don't have it. I perceive a big difference even between Ni dom and aux users. The aux users I know seem grounded in conventional reality; it is their base. My base is space; it is where I'm grounded. The only thing that prevents me from taking off into space completely is other people (Fe) and physical activity (Se). It's definitely a struggle, though. I do not want to be here most of the time; I'd like to be somewhere else and every now and then come back to visit. I think that's what I'm already doing. Lol.
I tried to disclose this to a few other people. It usually earned me confused disbelief ("What?") or worried disbelief ("You have a problem."). I've stopped trying to explain myself as a general rule.
Being a rare type is one thing (ENTJs are rare; so are ENFJs). Ni dominance is is another. Would I feel out of place if 20% of the population were Ni doms? Certainly less so, but I'd still be an alien in this physical world; and I'd still feel worlds apart from the other 80% of the population.
Just to make sure: I do not believe Ni is "better" than any other function.
And I quote: "The INFJ type is believed to be very rare (less than 1 percent of the population) and it has an unusual set of traits."
http://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality
http://www.16personalities.com/infj-personality
I don't like the fact that we are measured...: (. I hate this "spotlight" I am now forced to be in! STOP IT U JERKS! From now on ALL INFJs are 25% of the population! If anyone says otherwise I WILL FIND U, tie you up, and make you watch a million times the intro to the most horrible program of all time: Spongebob Squarepants!
for me, I don't necessarily feel more rare. just complex. Everybody shows different sides of themselves to different people. You have one side for work, and one for friends for example. I've always felt I just have more sides to me, and they are more guarded. Never really knew if I built a wall to keep others out, or to keep myself in. I think being that INFJ's tend to mirror other people, we never really know who we are until we are around someone else. On one hand I have a deep relationship with myself and understanding of who I am. On the other hand I feel sometimes like I don't know myself at all. Most people seem to perceive me as someone who really knows who I am. I've always said I don't have any idea who I am, but I know who I am not. I think the infj's tendency to sometimes latch on to the idea that we are rare or special is because of our desire to feel as special as those few people that stand out to us. At least, that's what I think with me.