Teenage Dating and the influence of Gender | INFJ Forum

Teenage Dating and the influence of Gender

slant

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My grandmother and I were having a discussion about my friends and social situation when it drifted off into a sex talk, particularly about the differences between male and female thinking during the 'hormonal' stage, which we defined as 13-25.

We began talking about how females think emotionally and usually have physical attractions to a male that they mistake as 'love' and 'emotional attraction'. They begin to say things like 'he's so cute, adorable, interesting' and so on and will become obsessed and fixated on the said male.

We also discussed how males think physically and usually have physcial attraction to females that they do not mistake for love, however, males will tend to surpress emotional ties with the people they are dating and may think they like someone just because they are horny and physically attracted to them when the opposite is true. Males, we noted, are often so horny they will tell lies to females in order to get sex which is their primary motivation for female relationships during this stage.

As it went further, I began to say I enjoyed spending time with males better because they are more straightforward with what they want. They'll say 'hey, look at that girl, she's hot, I want to fuck her' rather than a girl who will go on and on for hours about what they like about a boy and how he's so charming. I stated that females were mostly stupid for dating males because they really do only want sex, that's all they want and if they don't want sex than in a relationship if they don't 'give it up' it shouldn't be a problem.

My Grandma began to argue with me and attempted to point out how 'cruel' males are for doing this, and lying to females to pretend like they are in love with them just to get sex. I went further to explain that in this society it's socially acceptable and that the reason it's occuring is because of society, so females are stupid not to catch on to this as well as stupid to fold under pressure to have sex when they know it's all the male wants.

I also mentioned that the models for 'male' and 'female' are stereotypical and generalized because some females act in the way of a male and some males act in the way of a female.

What do you think about the gender differences and roles between a teenage male/female relationships?
 
I don't think either behaviors are evidence of intelligence or stupidity. Teens are in a development process. It's more an issue of undeveloped understanding of self and relationships with people for both genders. There is also an issue of an undeveloped frontal lobe that identifies and regulates emotional responses and is the center for judgment. This area of the brain is reported as not completing development until age 25.

link
Bruce Bower said:
In an ensuing fMRI study directed by Yurgelun-Todd, 16 participants ages 12 to 17 also erred frequently when labeling the emotion on fearful faces. Those less than 14 years old answered incorrectly about half the time and yet showed the most amygdala activity, while older teens made fewer errors and displayed less activity in the amygdala and more in the frontal lobes than the younger participants did. Previous studies had found that, when given the same task, adults label most fearful expressions correctly and exhibit much more activity in the frontal lobes than in the amygdala.

...

Other evidence suggests that mental efficiency in solving emotion-related tasks
 
Ah, I was going to mention that in my post but I refrained.
 
My grandmother and I were having a discussion about my friends and social situation when it drifted off into a sex talk, particularly about the differences between male and female thinking during the 'hormonal' stage, which we defined as 13-25.

We began talking about how females think emotionally and usually have physical attractions to a male that they mistake as 'love' and 'emotional attraction'. They begin to say things like 'he's so cute, adorable, interesting' and so on and will become obsessed and fixated on the said male.

We also discussed how males think physically and usually have physcial attraction to females that they do not mistake for love, however, males will tend to surpress emotional ties with the people they are dating and may think they like someone just because they are horny and physically attracted to them when the opposite is true. Males, we noted, are often so horny they will tell lies to females in order to get sex which is their primary motivation for female relationships during this stage.

As it went further, I began to say I enjoyed spending time with males better because they are more straightforward with what they want. They'll say 'hey, look at that girl, she's hot, I want to fuck her' rather than a girl who will go on and on for hours about what they like about a boy and how he's so charming. I stated that females were mostly stupid for dating males because they really do only want sex, that's all they want and if they don't want sex than in a relationship if they don't 'give it up' it shouldn't be a problem.

My Grandma began to argue with me and attempted to point out how 'cruel' males are for doing this, and lying to females to pretend like they are in love with them just to get sex. I went further to explain that in this society it's socially acceptable and that the reason it's occuring is because of society, so females are stupid not to catch on to this as well as stupid to fold under pressure to have sex when they know it's all the male wants.

I also mentioned that the models for 'male' and 'female' are stereotypical and generalized because some females act in the way of a male and some males act in the way of a female.

What do you think about the gender differences and roles between a teenage male/female relationships?

Well, what happens when the 'physical' attraction turns into the real deal for both of them? Other than that, I can't add much, most guys tend to see sex as something you just 'have' to do, for love or not, something physical; while girls tend to think that sex is vastly important (It is, I suppose) and that it's a precious gift that she can give to whomever she chooses, whoever she feels is right, which is an emotional act.

This only applies to guys and girls of this bracket, btw, and slant, I find it interesting your asking this question :p
 
It's difficult for me to understand. I wanted to confirm my observations with someone who wouldn't argue that males were evil and that females were poor, lost souls.

I'd like to tell people who think that to look at the situation realistically.
 
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I think you forget or neglect that people of this age range actually can and do fall in love for more than just physical attraction and sex. While it may be true for a portion of this age range, many are in it for the real deal (especially the older they get).
 
I don't believe in love so that isn't applicable.
 
As a teenager sex isn't all males want, but it's the biggest of the main desires.

I was always of the opinion that if a girl isn't going to have sex with you in a romantic relationship, she'd better be bringing a shitload of other stuff to the table. Even then however, it's only a temporary thing until the girl who will have sex comes along or she changes her mind.

It's not a harsh thing, it's a biological thing. I've already got friends I don't fuck, they're males. And if a girl is going to be a no sex girl (until she knows she loves you/until marriage/because she's afraid/events in her past/whatever), she's put into the friend zone until she brings herself out of it and that leaves the romance zone completely open.
 
Romance is sexual. That's the point.

Girls don't seem to understand it during said age range.
Boys do.
 
Girls are prepared practically from birth to give birth. How sick is it that once a female is born, one of the first toys in her crib is a lifesized replica of herself to care for?

Females are trained to take sex as a very serious matter, a life altering matter for them. The girl child plays and plans from early on to have babies and nurture a family. By the time she is able to understand her own reproduction and sexuality, it is a much more serious matter than for the male.


Boys are encouraged to think of sex as a recreational activity. Boys are traditionally offered more options for play as children. Their entertainment does not revolve around one specific role.. The differences in attitudes from both genders are the result of social constructs.
 
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That's what I was saying, but apparently the majority of the population doesn't observe this pattern. My grandmother was very in offense when I spoke about it, as if I was targeting the females.

But they're naive if they don't see the social constructs and fall into having sex as a matter of love. If they were having sex just to have sex it wouldn't be as much as a problem, but this concept of love is absurd when the other party isn't thinking of that at all.
 
Well, at least you said you realized you were speaking in stereotypes. But I dislike stereotypes so much... You've probably been around this board enough to realize INFJ males don't really fit into the male stereotype very well. Unless that's just me.

I'll be honest and say I really don't "act like a boy" as society requests. But really, what does that mean? Why do we have these stereotypes to begin with? How do we know that people do not act just to fit these stereotypes so they are not alienated from society? It could just be a neverending cycle driven by people's desire to conform and feel accepted. Or perhaps it is just hormones as you may argue. But as an emotional person, I've always believed people control their bodies with their minds (to a certain extent, of course) and not vice versa. Sure, you might feel irritable if your body is feeling sick, but I do not understand how some people can have their entire mindset changed based on something physical like hormones. I believe feelings are something more than proteins floating around in your blood.

Although I'm just a crazy abstract INFJ. I'm heterosexual and not a late bloomer or anything, but I'll definately "wait until marriage." I'd rather make sure I'm in love with the person first...
 
Girls are prepared practically from birth to give birth. How sick is it that once a female is born, one of the first toys in her crib is a lifesized replica of herself to care for?

Females are trained to take sex as a very serious matter, a life altering matter for them. The girl child plays and plans from early on to have babies and nurture a family. By the time she is able to understand her own reproduction and sexuality, it is a much more serious matter than for the male.

Boys are encouraged to think of sex as a recreational activity. Boys are traditionally offered more options for play as children. Their entertainment does not revolve around one specific role.. The differences in attitudes from both genders are the result of social constructs.

The solution is simple. Give girls play options all their life as well as boys, and then teach them both to use condoms.
 
They're naieve and unfortunately, not educated about these things.
The curious bright ones will see the patterns and question at least.
I think the fact that this mindset predominates shows that we're still in a patriarchal society.