Straight INFJ Males
- Thread starter VH
- Start date
Have you considered the possibility that you're actually an asshole?
It's why some call me one. It's not an entirely bad thing.
I'm a straight INFJ male as well and I am very sure of my own sexuality.
I don't have the traits of a typical male and have been seen as effiminate or gay through much of school. How I used to dress didn't help that though. Most of my friends are women and I find it very hard or impossible to be friends with guys who are very masculine or people who are very set into gender roles.
I am not competitive at all and am really put off by the obsession with sports a lot of people have.
My main interest is to write and record my own songs. I also enjoy art and literature.
I am a very sensitive, sentimental person and in my experience women are much more sympathetic, understanding, and caring. . all traits that I have. When around most men I am just very quiet and generally don't feel I can be myself. I suppose I am quiet around anyone at first until I can see if they would accept how I am. I can read people really well. .body language, tone of voice, words they didn't say versus what they did say.
I have been told that I am quiet romantic and very gentle. And not in the "silly things guys feel they have to do to impress a woman" kind of way. I just think I see a lot of the world in a romanticized way. . . that could be good or bad depending on different people.
Most people who know me wouldn't be able to think of a single time I got really angry about anything. I can only think of a couple times but mostly that is a pretty foreign emotion for me. Someone here said that in the eyes of society, it is not normal to be an emotional man. I totally agree with this. I am very touchy feely when with a significant other.
I have only met one other INFJ. We became best friends very fast and she is very similar to me. I have mostly been happy with who I am, but just unhappy with how most people respond to me. I don't know about other INFJ guys but it seems to be quiet hard to make friends having personality traits like this.
This is my first post and I am very glad to have found a message board with like minded people!
I don't have the traits of a typical male and have been seen as effiminate or gay through much of school. How I used to dress didn't help that though. Most of my friends are women and I find it very hard or impossible to be friends with guys who are very masculine or people who are very set into gender roles.
I am not competitive at all and am really put off by the obsession with sports a lot of people have.
My main interest is to write and record my own songs. I also enjoy art and literature.
I am a very sensitive, sentimental person and in my experience women are much more sympathetic, understanding, and caring. . all traits that I have. When around most men I am just very quiet and generally don't feel I can be myself. I suppose I am quiet around anyone at first until I can see if they would accept how I am. I can read people really well. .body language, tone of voice, words they didn't say versus what they did say.
I have been told that I am quiet romantic and very gentle. And not in the "silly things guys feel they have to do to impress a woman" kind of way. I just think I see a lot of the world in a romanticized way. . . that could be good or bad depending on different people.
Most people who know me wouldn't be able to think of a single time I got really angry about anything. I can only think of a couple times but mostly that is a pretty foreign emotion for me. Someone here said that in the eyes of society, it is not normal to be an emotional man. I totally agree with this. I am very touchy feely when with a significant other.
I have only met one other INFJ. We became best friends very fast and she is very similar to me. I have mostly been happy with who I am, but just unhappy with how most people respond to me. I don't know about other INFJ guys but it seems to be quiet hard to make friends having personality traits like this.
This is my first post and I am very glad to have found a message board with like minded people!
I'm a straight INFJish male. People tell me I act "macho" and "bold" but I love art and I find beauty in a lot of simple things. I think there is a huge discrepancy between what is going on inside and what is going on outside.
[MENTION=5375]chulo[/MENTION]. "I think there is a huge discrepancy between what is going on inside and what is going on outside."
hey, i know what you mean.
hey, i know what you mean.
[MENTION=5375]chulo[/MENTION] i totally relate to that. People think that being sensitive and emotional makes you a pussie. Cant be further away from truth.
i am a fucking MACHO. im a masculine dude and 99% of people that meet me never ever think a single moment that im a sensitive person. Life have made me hard and tough, but still im a sweet INFJ inside ahahaha (only a bit crazy and violent sometimes xd)
i am a fucking MACHO. im a masculine dude and 99% of people that meet me never ever think a single moment that im a sensitive person. Life have made me hard and tough, but still im a sweet INFJ inside ahahaha (only a bit crazy and violent sometimes xd)
[MENTION=4992]Sai[/MENTION]
I hate the word macho, it sounds so..... village people. But yeah that's what people say! LOL
I hate the word macho, it sounds so..... village people. But yeah that's what people say! LOL
I think it's probably common.
I doubt you'd expect me to say the things I do. I get that reaction all the time.
I had a friend, not really more a guy at my gym. Pretty sure he was 6'5"
Trained pretty hard. But his voice was as gentle and quiet as could be. Sort of high pitched like no base to it.
If you never saw him but only heard his voice you'd a thought he was a little girl.
So, so much for appearances.
I think there are a lot of ways to be in touch with your feminine side. I am strait and recently married. I play sports, watch sports, talk sports. But I also majored in English Lit in college and like to think about spirituality, ideas, innovations, etc... Even so, INFJs are supposed to intuiitvely feel how others feel, and I can empathetically understand women. My femine side is trying to calm conflict, help solve problems, sooth tempers, etc... Masculine is agressive, dominant, behavior. Feminine is typically calming and cool, motherly type energy. I think I have a balance of both of these as probably many INFJs do.
hey all im a late joiner here.
im a straight recently seperated INFJ.
i studied Aikido in college
have a deep interest in military history and the politics behind it (i abhor war but am fascinated by it)
i nearly have my firearms licence (half way through the process)
apparently im 50% male !
im a straight recently seperated INFJ.
i studied Aikido in college
have a deep interest in military history and the politics behind it (i abhor war but am fascinated by it)
i nearly have my firearms licence (half way through the process)
apparently im 50% male !
It gets me every time. I always feel one way (self-analyzing, self-doubting, in a constant state of flux and reconsideration), but people tell me that what strikes them is how cool and even intimidating I am. I then maintain my emotional pokerface, but inside I'm like LOLOLOLOLOL! This is all before people get to know me and my comfortable retarded side.
I think the inconsistency between the way we feel and the way we come across is due primarily to perfectionism. In life, we develop pretty damn good armour to protect our truly emotional selves--a cool, aloof, and dismissive exoskeleton. However, our perfectionism ensures that we are never pleased with our armour or our selves.
I'll be honest here. I'm more feminine than most other males but it's never bothered me. I've never brought a girl home when I dated and my mother had (possibly still has) her suspicions that I'm gay. I hate sex and I hate talking about it so it's even led my friends to ask my orientation at least once or twice. But despite that, nope, I'm straight. I'm just very reserved talking to women. I'm also very aware of the "friend zone"...
I feel somewhat similar to Ibage - I hate talking about sex in social situations! Period! It freaks me out .. Whenever the topic turns toward sex, I make a quick comment that does nothing to expand on the topic, and change it to something more appealing to me. I have, however, brought girls home several times when I was a teenager.
Girls were attracted to me because I played the guitar and wrote music - I played by myself on stage. Never felt uncomfortable on a stage, but the time right before going on stage, and afterwards, were like torture. It got to the point where I took genuine praise the same way as scathing criticism, so I quit playing all together. Now I just play my guitar at home alone for the fun of it.
Instead I've focussed my energy on studying, and I'm currently in law school. I love it! It really speaks to me, and I really feel that I can do something positive with it. Hope people can use this rambling for something, if not then sorry I wasted your time ;-)
Girls were attracted to me because I played the guitar and wrote music - I played by myself on stage. Never felt uncomfortable on a stage, but the time right before going on stage, and afterwards, were like torture. It got to the point where I took genuine praise the same way as scathing criticism, so I quit playing all together. Now I just play my guitar at home alone for the fun of it.
Instead I've focussed my energy on studying, and I'm currently in law school. I love it! It really speaks to me, and I really feel that I can do something positive with it. Hope people can use this rambling for something, if not then sorry I wasted your time ;-)
I wouldn't say so. I wanted to join the Air Force for a while myself but I never passed the physical exam. My asthma got in the way. Nonetheless, do what you want. Don't let those four letters bog you down too much.
Sweet thread, I'm new to this forum and I just found out this is what I'm about, I'm 27 male, never really been social and I've always been quiet. Never had a friend that didn't talk behind my back, and always talk down to me because they've always thought I was homosexual-not theres anything wrong with that, although i'm a straight guy, it hurts to see them treat me differently.. I've always been straight, but it pains me to see that gay people are treated so different, because I've been treated this way my entire life based on my physique i suppose.. and to see it first hand is sad. and I just never appreciated it.so I'm hoping to loosen up a bit on this board. sorry if that didn't make much sense i just needed to vent