Society's Expectations

rather than being constantly coerced - I think we coerce ourself through our programming,following the flock doing what everyone else is doing and never questioning,truly questioning is that what we really want and often times we create realites for ourselves that can't be easily dismantled because other people are involved.

Do you think there will ever be a time when people growing up are left to do whatever makes them happy -I think kids are often brought into the world by parents that aren't fit and ready to have kids and they do this to fullfill their own need /vacum (which it doesn't fill) and they then project their crap on these innocents are start the whole cycle all over again.

Do you have any trouble trying to meet expectations?-No.but I have trouble functioning in society.I want to live in a teepee and live under the stars not in some shitty city where I have to use a trolley to get my food.

utterly irrevelant awnsers ,I think .............

 

Your On a new thread role today arent you!!! I have always felt pressured to act a certain way want certain things and be a certain type of person. Growing up in Utah you get alot of people who will just plain not like you because you are not a member of "The Church" here. You always feel like an outsider living in a cult society....everyone is in on the lifestyle but you. I finally decided I like being on the outside...screw conformity...I am my own person and no one or nothing is gonna change me!!!

 

It isn't easy to just throw your hands up and say I don't care what anyone thinks of me...and don't think it was an easy road coming here either! And I still have a long road of personal development ahead of me...

 

I don't think I've ever cared. Society is a tool to use for my own ends. I'm no tool for it's use.

 

I've never cared about it.

 

I finally reached this same point - a lot later in life than you did - good for you! I realized the only thing I'm really good at is being myself, however screwed up that may appear to those around me. I'm still trying very hard to stop apologizing for it. Sorry I haven't gotten there yet.

 

HAHA!! I apologize about EVERYTHING still...Sorry It drives my ENFJ friend NUTS "What are you sorry for," she says, "You didn't do anything". So I say, "I know I'm sorry" Apologizing for apologizing...WOW!What a rut I'm in!

Sorry that was kinda off topic just reminded me of that! I still have a lot of soul searching before I truly am ALL me..And no one else..There are just a few things that I am Sick and tired of everyone trying to change me...I may be a little depressed from time to time but thats no reason to change EVERYTHING about me! LAY OFF! GEEEZE! So Im not all there just taking steps in the right direction FINALLY!

 

You sound like my little sister!

I can't really be myself only around people who don't judge so much.
I'm slowly getting the hang of not caring about other peoples "peer pressure".
At school my fellow students always get mad at me asking questions in class.
I always tend to ask specific questions on the subject that isn't going to be covered on
the test so they think it doesn't matter.

 

Hm, I'm pretty paradoxical in that regard.

Sometimes I internalise society's expectations but to conform would go against my fundamental grain of being. I end up resenting society's expectations despite wanting to meet them because it feels more difficult for me to measure up to par consistently without losing my sense of freedom and authentic identity.

Getting good grades for example, I find the curriculum mostly pointless and torturously uninspiring but I would still like to do well to get into uni and feel equal to my conscientious peers. There's definitely a more free-spirited side of me that doesn't want to do anything I don't want to do, so I sort of linger in between- try my best when I'm in the mood and slip back into leisurely, carefree rest mode when the brain and eyebrows gets too wrinkled- don't want 'em stuck cranky like that for longer than I can stand to do my head in.

Some days I'm better at accepting "there are things in life you have to do against your own comfortable will" than others... I can hate how society is structured, how it revolves around money, how school and work are crucial but as long as I'm able to have enough time for my own pursuits, I am still capable of feeling grateful. This would be utopia for third world societies.

 

bump

 

In terms of planning and long-term goals, I do fit into the ESFJ expectations anyway. In that I want a family and a job etc... so that is fine. Otherwise though, I find I clash a lot with societal goals. I'm intent on travelling, I'm intent on intense conversations and trying to find underdogs to help. I read up on religion and philosophy all the time and...well I think I simply care too much for their liking. But, I don't think I'd have it any other way, so I'm not so bothered about the rest of them. I will still do things my way regardless of the rows.

 

I succeeded in surpassing the ideal set before me. Then the crowd changed their tune of what they wanted. It was disenchanting. I am still coerced towards the life I should want, but most of the coercion and direction comes from myself, as far as I can tell. I guess no one around me, including myself, dreams big enough. INTJ