Should happiness be earned? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Should happiness be earned?

Everyone deserves to feel happiness. I don't care what they've done, or what they plan on doing. To deny someone the chance to ever feel happiness denies someone the right to experience humanity. It's one of countless emotions that make humans, humans imo.

I also agree with whoever said that the "evil" people who do things that make them feel good really will not know happiness until they do "good".
 
Everyone deserves to feel happiness. I don't care what they've done, or what they plan on doing. To deny someone the chance to ever feel happiness denies someone the right to experience humanity. It's one of countless emotions that make humans, humans imo. ".
This seems fair to me. The suffering of others does nothing to further my own happiness, no matter how horribly they wronged me.. so I couldn't personally justify wishing misery on someone.

I also think that happiness is a choice. You have to decide that you are going to be happy and then focus on positive things instead of dwelling on negative things and hoping something good will happen to you to make you feel better. I have a hard time with that, I'll admit. If I allow myself to wallow in self-pity and focus on all the negative things, I could easily drive myself to become depressed. I've done it many times.

I also agree with whoever said that the "evil" people who do things that make them feel good really will not know happiness until they do "good".

I don't agree with that though. I don't think there is inherent goodness that all people can just tap into. I think people who do hurtful and destructive things to themselves and others and feel "good" about it have mental/emotional problems.
 
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I don't agree with that though. I don't think there is inherent goodness that all people can just tap into. I think people who do hurtful and destructive things to themselves and others and feel "good" about it have mental/emotional problems.
Fair enough. I obviously cannot know for sure, but I feel that someone like Pol Pot did not experience happiness in its purest sense when he did the things that he did. I think true happiness comes from helping others or purely innocent actions (like in childhood). I do agree though that people who do destructive/hurtful things and find some sense of happiness in it have some problem of sorts.
 
I also think that happiness is a choice. You have to decide that you are going to be happy and then focus on positive things instead of dwelling on negative things and hoping something good will happen to you to make you feel better. I have a hard time with that, I'll admit. If I allow myself to wallow in self-pity and focus on all the negative things, I could easily drive myself to become depressed. I've done it many times.

thanks for bringing this up, i was hoping someone would. i partly agree, there definitely seems to be an element of choice involved in being happy, and also in being unhappy- in fact it seems sustaining ANY emotion over the long term is achieved at least in part by consciously choosing to look at things one way instead of another. maybe that's what makes us who we are -what kind of perspective we choose to have, day after day, year after year. but i believe there's more to it than choice. it's hard to be happy when someone you love is suffering, for example. it's hard to be happy when you're going against important values.
 
Happiness is a part of who you are, I think, rather a product of what is around you.

To be "happy" is something every person needs to take upon themselves. It is an inalienable right, and difficult to take away from someone truly determined to be happy.

Granted many of those people have an unrealistic view of the world, but I believe the point is that no one has the right to determine whether or not another person is "deserving" of happiness itself. It is up to each individual to find within themselves and circumstance:m176:s.
 
I forgo happiness many times for the sake of self-improvement.

Happiness is a mindset, not an external reward.
...Agreed with all of your post, but especially this. Well, granted; I find happiness in self-improvement, I guess it's a sort of restraining happiness for a longer, more everlasting one?
Is it possible to merge a passion with happiness?

Am I wrong in defining happiness as a contentment with everything? And if one is content, then why seek change?

And if all I want is contentment, then why don't I just go get a damn lobotomy?
...It's hard to say. I can see your point but.... On the other hand, one can be content but unhappy, while someone else can be happy even without feeling content. I would say content tend to feel 'neutral', more like security and peace (in a way), while happiness is more...emotional.
 
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Have you ever noticed how mean people seem to be luckier? Or is it just me and my surroundings?
 
Have you ever noticed how mean people seem to be luckier? Or is it just me and my surroundings?

You know who is "luckier" around me and my surroundings? People who are adept at the art of self-promotion.

I don't know if I'd necessarily call them mean, not all of them, anyway, some of them are very much into helping others. They are all just sort of unquestioningly self-confident, and that seems to generate what we call "luck".
 
...Agreed with all of your post, but especially this. Well, granted; I find happiness in self-improvement, I guess it's a sort of restraining happiness for a longer, more everlasting one?

...It's hard to say. I can see your point but.... On the other hand, one can be content but unhappy, while someone else can be happy even without feeling content. I would say content tend to feel 'neutral', more like security and peace (in a way), while happiness is more...emotional.

@Trifoilum:

Hmm, yea that is interesting, so what I take from that is happiness is more ignoring the current state rather than necessarily being content with it. Is that close, or pretty far off from what you were saying?

That feels right to me, like I have to 'switch-on' my ignorance to be happy. I have to say 'to hell with _____' for a while and just 'be.'

How long does happiness last for you (or anyone) before it is gone?
 
thanks for bringing this up, i was hoping someone would. i partly agree, there definitely seems to be an element of choice involved in being happy, and also in being unhappy- in fact it seems sustaining ANY emotion over the long term is achieved at least in part by consciously choosing to look at things one way instead of another. maybe that's what makes us who we are -what kind of perspective we choose to have, day after day, year after year. but i believe there's more to it than choice. it's hard to be happy when someone you love is suffering, for example. it's hard to be happy when you're going against important values.
Agreed. I think it's part circumstances, part perspective. Both can affect each other, to a degree, perhaps? i.e it's easy to be happy when we're with someone we love rather than people we hate.
You know who is "luckier" around me and my surroundings? People who are adept at the art of self-promotion.

I don't know if I'd necessarily call them mean, not all of them, anyway, some of them are very much into helping others. They are all just sort of unquestioningly self-confident, and that seems to generate what we call "luck".
...Yesh. Yesh. Well, depends; I think it's more of lots of (seemingly fluid, natural, and effortless) opportunities rather than 'luck' per se, albeit to the other person, it may seemed like luck. But I'm sure they work hard for it too.

@Trifoilum:

Hmm, yea that is interesting, so what I take from that is happiness is more ignoring the current state rather than necessarily being content with it. Is that close, or pretty far off from what you were saying?

That feels right to me, like I have to 'switch-on' my ignorance to be happy. I have to say 'to hell with _____' for a while and just 'be.'

How long does happiness last for you (or anyone) before it is gone?
I agreed, even though one's current state is also a legit thing to be happy with, but when talking about restraining / not going towards happiness for me, only if I foresee a happier thing by doing that, even if it's the state of being more developed. Of course, high rewards = high risk.

In certain ways, for me happiness is not the goal, but more like a...necessity sounds too important...tool. Vehicle. It makes your journey far easier at times, but there're times when you have to walk without it.

I...quite short, actually. To think about it, I haven't really practiced my art of looking things from another side recently. So it's until another problem comes in, which usually is rather quick.
 
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thanks for bringing this up, i was hoping someone would. i partly agree, there definitely seems to be an element of choice involved in being happy, and also in being unhappy- in fact it seems sustaining ANY emotion over the long term is achieved at least in part by consciously choosing to look at things one way instead of another. maybe that's what makes us who we are -what kind of perspective we choose to have, day after day, year after year. but i believe there's more to it than choice. it's hard to be happy when someone you love is suffering, for example. it's hard to be happy when you're going against important values.

It's never an easy choice. When I think of happiness, I'm thinking more of just being content--of having accepted conditions or being able to face oneself. It reminds me of a question in a book called Peony by Pearl S. Buck. A maid asks another maid, "Is life meant to be happy or sad?" And the other replies, "You cannot be happy until you understand that life is sad."

Things aren't always going to go our way. People we love will suffer. All we can do is bring the best and make the best out of situations. What good does your suffering do for someone else's? You just add onto the suffering. There is a way to be sympathetic and supportive and positive for those you care for who are suffering..

As for going against important values, that is a choice too.. and a choice that can be changed. You exchange one happiness for another I suppose.. Keep the morally bankrupt career with the huge income, or quit that job and lose the six figure salary so that you can face yourself in the mirror.

But we may think of happiness differently, which is natural as we all experience things differently..
I expect good things and bad things to exist simultaneously. Goodness isn't isolated from bad in most circumstances. There's always some opportunity cost, but it's what you decide to make out of the opportunity that determines contentedness.
And that is the responsibility of the individual to determine.

I don't mean to say horrible things shouldn't affect us, but we still get to choose how these things affect our quality of life in the long run.

But this is all based on my own life experience, and my idea of happiness as a result. So it's just my personal opinion.
 
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Do we all have a right to be happy, regardless of what kind of actions we take, or should happiness be the exclusive domain of those who do "good"?
As in, are hardworking, giving, and loving people? Would a person devoid of any of these qualities who nonetheless maintains their happiness and pride be morally corrupt?

I don't the utility this question has, because people who don't embody the qualities you mentioned generally are not happy.

People who do bad things are in pain themselves, weather they realize it or not.
 
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