Shadow functions and BPD theory

Okay, I have a theory. (Being infj, I feel like this is already fact because it feels right to me, but I still want to discuss it)

So, as we know the INFJ functions are as follows:
Ni
Fe
Ti
Se

So that means the shadow functions are those of the ENFP:
Ne
Fi
Te
Si

I have been diagnosed with BPD for about 2 years now. When a friend got me into the MBTI system, I consistently got 3 different results: INFP, ENFP and INFJ.

Eventually that wasn't good enough for me and I went looking for real answers. I started researching cognitive functions and realised that I am really INFJ, especially as I like into how I acted as a child.

Now, when I was about 13 my family moved from Scotland to the States. this was a huge trauma in my life and I struggled intensely. I began adopting actions which were very foreign to me, and I continued to live in those actions.

Eventually things caught up to me and things happened and voila: I have BPD. I read up on it and tried to understand, but wasn't really able to get help.

Anyway, as I was researching these functions, I began to wonder about shadow functions. I came across the term by accident while looking up a friend's cognitive functions, and started to read about what INFJ shadow functions look like when worn too much. And that exactly described what the doctors told me was BPD.

So, my theory is that BPD is actually a person living in their shadow functions, to some degree or other. I'd like to know what you all think.

 

I did that too though. Every time I got a new result I would see it in myself and find ways to prove that to be true (an Ne trait), which only served to worsen the identity disturbance.

A lot of the symptoms mirror things that are common for our type. Especially the strong emotions, how attached we can get, and how our emotions can change seemingly out of the blue because we can get so tuned in to what others are feeling and often can't tell what we're feeling ourselves. Our type does seem to have somewhat of a natural proclivity to anxiety and depression because of this as well. I've read that BPD is commonly associated with the ENFP personality type as well, so an unhealthy INFJ forcing ENFP traits would probably look very BPD even if they weren't. That's my thought, anyway.

I ended up doing a lot of research (by a lot, I mean almost all day, every day for over two weeks so far- I have a boring job) and discovered a lot about how things came to be. I grew up with an ISTP father who pretty much instilled doubt of my Ni in me from a very young age, so I developed my Ne. My Fe was constantly under siege because he is a major projector of all of his worst emotions (especially stress. I have pretty bad anxiety because of how much stress he poured into me.) so I learned that feelings hurt and I need to take care of my own, so I started developing Fi... really badly. I got obsessed with figuring out what I felt. Because he was so thinking, I avoided it, but I still found that my Ti works now that I'm out of that environment, and I do use Se, but not Si, which is what clued me into being INFJ rather than ENFP.

 

I used to talk about it a lot more. and think about it a lot more. I have a tendency to become obsessed with, well, everything. especially understanding why my emotions and my reactions have been so unstable in recent years.

I have a full time job, so technically I'm high functioning. I struggle in relationships though. I'm less difficult in friendships, but I'll still distance myself from them suddenly when I feel hurt by someone. Romantic relationships are the bane of my existence. I try, but I'm hopelessly co-dependant, and when they end I get horribly depressed and pretty much go crazy. All the while I can see and feel their stress and fear and helplessness at the situation and I feel terrible for it, but controlling it is like trying to stop an angry toddler on a rampage when you forgot to bring your bribes. But it can feel like the BPD gives you an excuse to have emotions in this crazy emotionally constipated world, and act on them in ways you know aren't socially acceptable.

I've been getting better. You can learn to control it and activate the part of your brain that processes emotional regulation, even without therapy (though I don't recommend going the solo route. It's really hard.) It takes a lot of study and work no matter how you do it, but it is possible. Funnily enough, it happens best when you don't think about it and to just... live. But I've discovered living with very few people close to me to avoid hurting them, so that might not count.