Sh** tests

[ClevelandINTP]

We’ve all likely gotten these tests to gauge temperament to situations that are uncomfortable or uncertain

Personally, it depends. If someone is doing it in good nature for sport and not to make judgements, that’s fine. You can usually tell if someone is just messing with you or if they’re just annoying and have other undertones

I think judging someone’s reaction to something that is manipulative and has the intent to disturb someone is appalling. Going along with them or playing with them is not something goes against everything I think is right, so I’ll usually just agree with something snarky or over the top. Or I’ll just say I know what you’re doing or outright say let’s not make a scene

I suppose it usually comes from women who have a need to feel secure, but in the #metoo age, it’s counterintuitive how much these have amplified. I would think these would go down as a result as demand for equality goes up, but perhaps, they’ve increased because people are being more selective, insecure and impatient

What value does one actually get out of these? Who decided these things are socially acceptable? What is your position on these

 

[bcrwz]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_mass_hysteria_cases

 

[Asa]

@ClevelandINTP
– Can you give examples? (I want you to clarify because you brought up #metoo and I'm just curious how it all fits together for you.)

I think judging someone’s reaction to something that is manipulative and has the intent to disturb someone is appalling. Going along with them or playing with them is not something goes against everything I think is right, so I’ll usually just agree with something snarky or over the top. Or I’ll just say I know what you’re doing or outright say let’s not make a scene

My reaction when I know people are scheming (and I usually know) is similar to yours.

 

[ClevelandINTP]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_mass_hysteria_cases

Added to the list!

 

[ClevelandINTP]

@ClevelandINTP
– Can you give examples? (I want you to clarify because you brought up #metoo and I'm just curious how it all fits together for you.)



My reaction when I know people are scheming (and I usually know) is similar to yours.

In dating, it’s usually scheming

From the Internet:
https://lifeoperatingsystem.com/pass-shit-tests/

https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/pass-shit-test-2-strategies/

There are literally books on it
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IJLQCYA/?tag=infjs-20

 

[Asa]

Ohhh, this shit. Got ya.

 

[Wyote]

The most disappointing thing is that people who believe they are against shit testing end up devising the most convoluted shit tests inadvertently, unknowingly.
At least if you are going to give a person a shit test, make it obvious to yourself and your target.
I shit on shit tests.

 

[bcrwz]

The most disappointing thing is that people who believe they are against shit testing end up devising the most convoluted shit tests inadvertently, unknowingly.
At least if you are going to give a person a shit test, make it obvious to yourself and your target.
I shit on shit tests.

Is this an Alice in Wonderland quote?

 

[sassafras]

I know there are some people that conduct shit tests, but I had no idea that this was a common enough 'dating' thing that it warrants so much specialization and discussion in dating advice circles. It explains why some guys take a genuine 'not interested' as you 'testing their alpha male' status. (I also wonder how many guys try to explain actual rejection this way -- she wasn't 'rejecting' me, she was 'testing' me. And I fucked up. It immediately gives the guy a semblance of choice and control back, even if he 'failed' in his mind).

Still, random dudes you can brush off are one thing. When your coworkers and/or other people you're forced to interact with do this, it becomes annoying.

If I think about it, it sounds more like a way of people trying to take or maintain a sense of control by seizing the role as the 'tester' and therefore making everyone else a 'subject.'

It's definitely a security thing.

 

[Wyote]

Is this an Alice in Wonderland quote?

No it's a meme

 

[Wyote]

it sounds more like a way of people trying to take or maintain a sense of control by seizing the role as the 'tester' and therefore making everyone else a 'subject.'

Definitely

 

[Daustus]

I had never heard the term shit test before. Humanity is super cool. I'm glad to be a part of it.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

Ohhh, this shit. Got ya.

Lol, I was waiting for you two to collide!


Personally, I don't give a fuck about this.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

No it's a meme

Lmao

 

[Wyote]

I had never heard the term shit test before. Humanity is super cool. I'm glad to be a part of it.

lmfaooo

Personally, I don't give a fuck about this.

 

[Asa]

Lol, I was waiting for you two to collide!

@ClevelandINTP and I collide sometimes. Hahaha. I still like him, though.

There is a lot I could say about this because there are all kinds of reasons women grill men they may potentially date or have sex with, most of which have something to do with institutionalized misogyny and/or genuine fear and watchfulness for her personal safety, not to mention compatibility. However, there are millions of people who are actually assholes and treat other humans like garbage, so despite everything I said above, what Cleveland is talking about happens. If you want casual sex with random assholes of any gender and you're willing and ready to to play games to do it, you're going to get played. It's a vicious cycle of jerks all complaining that the other side are jerks.

If you want a real human, find one who doesn't shit test. She will still ask you questions to find out if you're compatible and safe and you should be asking her questions too.

Ya dig?

 

[acd]

Maybe you can just say that if a woman shit tests then she fails your test for bullshit and move on? This is completely new term to me. People who do this are basically jerks.

 

[ClevelandINTP]

Maybe you can just say that if a woman shit tests then she fails your test for bullshit and move on? This is completely new term to me. People who do this are basically jerks.

This is generally my attitude

————

I’m more interested in why the prevalence of this keeps increasing relative to increased social expectations for equality

Like do women feel that much more unsafe? I have never even thought or heard or experienced this stuff until lately, and it’s quite overt

Not from everyone obviously, but it’s definitely super noticeable

Most dudes I’ve talked to about it have similar experiences

 

[ClevelandINTP]

The most disappointing thing is that people who believe they are against shit testing end up devising the most convoluted shit tests inadvertently, unknowingly.
At least if you are going to give a person a shit test, make it obvious to yourself and your target.
I shit on shit tests.

What’s a practical example? Sorry this is too abstract for me to get. How would you know someone is against shit tests?

Part two: are you asking someone to say “I’m about to be a giant asshole to you just so you’re prepared just don’t react too much to it?”

Serious questions

 

[Wyote]

How would you know someone is against shit tests?

They proclaim it directly. It's not abstract.