Sh** tests | INFJ Forum

Sh** tests

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by l4sc5_, Sep 23, 2019.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 13 users.
More threads by l4sc5_
  1. l4sc5_

    Banned

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2018
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    1,336
    Featured Threads:
    4
    Likes Received:
    2,109
    Trophy Points:
    1,187
    We’ve all likely gotten these tests to gauge temperament to situations that are uncomfortable or uncertain

    Personally, it depends. If someone is doing it in good nature for sport and not to make judgements, that’s fine. You can usually tell if someone is just messing with you or if they’re just annoying and have other undertones

    I think judging someone’s reaction to something that is manipulative and has the intent to disturb someone is appalling. Going along with them or playing with them is not something goes against everything I think is right, so I’ll usually just agree with something snarky or over the top. Or I’ll just say I know what you’re doing or outright say let’s not make a scene

    I suppose it usually comes from women who have a need to feel secure, but in the #metoo age, it’s counterintuitive how much these have amplified. I would think these would go down as a result as demand for equality goes up, but perhaps, they’ve increased because people are being more selective, insecure and impatient

    What value does one actually get out of these? Who decided these things are socially acceptable? What is your position on these
     
  2. A Guy

    Donor

    Joined:
    May 11, 2019
    Threads:
    13
    Messages:
    661
    Featured Threads:
    6
    Likes Received:
    2,396
    Trophy Points:
    987
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    INTJ
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    l4sc5_ likes this.
  3. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Threads:
    75
    Messages:
    4,937
    Featured Threads:
    23
    Likes Received:
    26,705
    Trophy Points:
    1,831
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    @ClevelandINTP
    – Can you give examples? (I want you to clarify because you brought up #metoo and I'm just curious how it all fits together for you.)

    My reaction when I know people are scheming (and I usually know) is similar to yours.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    MINFJToothFairy and Sandie33 like this.
  4. OP
    l4sc5_

    Banned

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2018
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    1,336
    Featured Threads:
    4
    Likes Received:
    2,109
    Trophy Points:
    1,187
    Sandie33 likes this.
  5. OP
    l4sc5_

    Banned

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2018
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    1,336
    Featured Threads:
    4
    Likes Received:
    2,109
    Trophy Points:
    1,187
    In dating, it’s usually scheming

    From the Internet:
    https://lifeoperatingsystem.com/pass-shit-tests/

    https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/pass-shit-test-2-strategies/

    There are literally books on it
    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IJLQCYA/?tag=infjsforums-21
     
  6. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Threads:
    75
    Messages:
    4,937
    Featured Threads:
    23
    Likes Received:
    26,705
    Trophy Points:
    1,831
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Ohhh, this shit. Got ya.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Lady Jolanda and l4sc5_ like this.
  7. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
    Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2008
    Threads:
    229
    Messages:
    29,913
    Featured Threads:
    15
    Likes Received:
    144,192
    Trophy Points:
    4,271
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    Ni Space
    Enneagram:
    9 Seas
    The most disappointing thing is that people who believe they are against shit testing end up devising the most convoluted shit tests inadvertently, unknowingly.
    At least if you are going to give a person a shit test, make it obvious to yourself and your target.
    I shit on shit tests.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  8. A Guy

    Donor

    Joined:
    May 11, 2019
    Threads:
    13
    Messages:
    661
    Featured Threads:
    6
    Likes Received:
    2,396
    Trophy Points:
    987
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    INTJ
    Is this an Alice in Wonderland quote?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Hostarius likes this.
  9. sassafras

    sassafras snazzy [insert blank]

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2009
    Threads:
    170
    Messages:
    13,569
    Featured Threads:
    6
    Likes Received:
    36,868
    Trophy Points:
    2,376
    MBTI:
    .
    I know there are some people that conduct shit tests, but I had no idea that this was a common enough 'dating' thing that it warrants so much specialization and discussion in dating advice circles. It explains why some guys take a genuine 'not interested' as you 'testing their alpha male' status. (I also wonder how many guys try to explain actual rejection this way -- she wasn't 'rejecting' me, she was 'testing' me. And I fucked up. It immediately gives the guy a semblance of choice and control back, even if he 'failed' in his mind).

    Still, random dudes you can brush off are one thing. When your coworkers and/or other people you're forced to interact with do this, it becomes annoying.

    If I think about it, it sounds more like a way of people trying to take or maintain a sense of control by seizing the role as the 'tester' and therefore making everyone else a 'subject.'

    It's definitely a security thing.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #9 sassafras, Sep 23, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2019
  10. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
    Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2008
    Threads:
    229
    Messages:
    29,913
    Featured Threads:
    15
    Likes Received:
    144,192
    Trophy Points:
    4,271
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    Ni Space
    Enneagram:
    9 Seas
    No it's a meme
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  11. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
    Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2008
    Threads:
    229
    Messages:
    29,913
    Featured Threads:
    15
    Likes Received:
    144,192
    Trophy Points:
    4,271
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    Ni Space
    Enneagram:
    9 Seas
    Definitely
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  12. Daustus

    Daustus Moon Boy

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2019
    Threads:
    5
    Messages:
    1,037
    Featured Threads:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,171
    Trophy Points:
    1,122
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Secret Hideout
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I had never heard the term shit test before. Humanity is super cool. I'm glad to be a part of it.
     
  13. Hostarius

    Hostarius Magniloquent Malapert

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2018
    Threads:
    26
    Messages:
    7,627
    Featured Threads:
    12
    Likes Received:
    57,069
    Trophy Points:
    4,032
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK, a part of the EU
    MBTI:
    INTJ
    Enneagram:
    1w2
    Lol, I was waiting for you two to collide!


    Personally, I don't give a fuck about this.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  14. Hostarius

    Hostarius Magniloquent Malapert

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2018
    Threads:
    26
    Messages:
    7,627
    Featured Threads:
    12
    Likes Received:
    57,069
    Trophy Points:
    4,032
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK, a part of the EU
    MBTI:
    INTJ
    Enneagram:
    1w2
    Lmao
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Wyote likes this.
  15. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
    Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2008
    Threads:
    229
    Messages:
    29,913
    Featured Threads:
    15
    Likes Received:
    144,192
    Trophy Points:
    4,271
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    Ni Space
    Enneagram:
    9 Seas
    lmfaooo

    [​IMG]
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  16. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Threads:
    75
    Messages:
    4,937
    Featured Threads:
    23
    Likes Received:
    26,705
    Trophy Points:
    1,831
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    @ClevelandINTP and I collide sometimes. Hahaha. I still like him, though.

    There is a lot I could say about this because there are all kinds of reasons women grill men they may potentially date or have sex with, most of which have something to do with institutionalized misogyny and/or genuine fear and watchfulness for her personal safety, not to mention compatibility. However, there are millions of people who are actually assholes and treat other humans like garbage, so despite everything I said above, what Cleveland is talking about happens. If you want casual sex with random assholes of any gender and you're willing and ready to to play games to do it, you're going to get played. It's a vicious cycle of jerks all complaining that the other side are jerks.

    If you want a real human, find one who doesn't shit test. She will still ask you questions to find out if you're compatible and safe and you should be asking her questions too.

    Ya dig?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  17. acd

    acd Well-known member

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2009
    Threads:
    133
    Messages:
    12,798
    Featured Threads:
    8
    Likes Received:
    16,722
    Trophy Points:
    1,227
    Location:
    Big sky
    MBTI:
    infp
    Enneagram:
    9w8 sp/sx
    Maybe you can just say that if a woman shit tests then she fails your test for bullshit and move on? This is completely new term to me. People who do this are basically jerks.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    QuietBrave, Reason, Elis and 8 others like this.
  18. OP
    l4sc5_

    Banned

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2018
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    1,336
    Featured Threads:
    4
    Likes Received:
    2,109
    Trophy Points:
    1,187
    This is generally my attitude

    ————

    I’m more interested in why the prevalence of this keeps increasing relative to increased social expectations for equality

    Like do women feel that much more unsafe? I have never even thought or heard or experienced this stuff until lately, and it’s quite overt

    Not from everyone obviously, but it’s definitely super noticeable

    Most dudes I’ve talked to about it have similar experiences
     
    #18 l4sc5_, Sep 23, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2019
    MINFJToothFairy and Daustus like this.
  19. OP
    l4sc5_

    Banned

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2018
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    1,336
    Featured Threads:
    4
    Likes Received:
    2,109
    Trophy Points:
    1,187
    What’s a practical example? Sorry this is too abstract for me to get. How would you know someone is against shit tests?

    Part two: are you asking someone to say “I’m about to be a giant asshole to you just so you’re prepared just don’t react too much to it?”

    Serious questions
     
    #19 l4sc5_, Sep 23, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2019
    MINFJToothFairy and Daustus like this.
  20. Wyote

    Wyote ○●○
    Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2008
    Threads:
    229
    Messages:
    29,913
    Featured Threads:
    15
    Likes Received:
    144,192
    Trophy Points:
    4,271
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    Ni Space
    Enneagram:
    9 Seas
    They proclaim it directly. It's not abstract.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Lady Jolanda likes this.

Share This Page