Self Acceptance? What the heck does that mean? | INFJ Forum

Self Acceptance? What the heck does that mean?

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Gaze, Jun 30, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    So, what does it mean to accept yourself and how does one do this . . . pray tell? :m155:


     
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  2. Poetic Justice

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    Acceptence means placing the same value on yourself as a person regardless of how well or how badly you do.

    Sometimes you will screw up. thats not a bad thing, just a thing.

    I would like to say say that I hate the saying "just be yourself". as if you have a choice.

    Acceptance DOES NOT mean you can't develop areas you aren't particularly good in for example some people say us INFJ's shouldn't learn to communicate with regular types on their level because we're not being ourselves. nonsense.

    Accept your flaws and accept that you may be able to turn them into strenghts
     
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  3. OP
    Gaze

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    Quite agree. I dislike the saying "just be yourself." There are always areas which could be improved, but it's good to recognize the self as separate from what others think or feel - this would be my definition of self acceptance or at least self recognition.

    "Know thyself" and "To think own self be true."
     
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  4. Tamagochi

    Tamagochi Sushi Destroyer
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    To accept is to love. Love unconditionally the person you are. The good parts, the flaws - everything.

    It does not mean that one must constantly praise herself and ignore all criticism.
     
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  5. OP
    Gaze

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    Agree.
     
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  6. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    i think it means embracing who you are without sugarcoating your negative qualities or exaggerating your good qualities. being realistic about your character and loving it for what it is~ something like that :) clearly if your ideals or standards are divergent from your assessment of your true character, self acceptance is going to be hard to acheive (without some measure of self deception, anyway)
     
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  7. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    Accepting yourself means that you should embrace all the faults and benefits that you have as a person because that's who you are. No one is perfect and no one will be by the time they die. You shouldn't hate yourself because you haven't become an expert at something you truly loved. With that being said, accepting yourself does not mean you can stop improving upon yourself. Also, you have to remember that people will perceive you differently than what your actual personality is. You have to accept that as reality and work to become a good person by your standards, not by their standards.
     
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  8. Jonathan

    Jonathan Community Member

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    I think it means to enjoy what makes you unique and sets you apart, instead of trying to fit yourself into a mould. It's knowing that you have faults, but also that you have strengths that are valuable on your own terms. Mostly, though, I think it has a lot to do with not changing for other people, but changing to grow and become who you want to be.
     
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  9. slant

    slant amour-propre
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    Self acceptance is just having the ability to say, hey, here are my strengths, here are my weaknesses, I can improve or decrease ability on most of these things using my willpower and unique traits and skills as a human being, I'm going to present myself and say these things and be this way, think these thoughts and live them in this way, and that's fine with me. Other people might reject my ideas and I'm going to deal with it this way, I will debunk others' opinions that-a-way, and I will trump all others. Sieg Heil.
     
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  10. OP
    Gaze

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    Good points. thx
     
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  11. durentu

    durentu Regular Poster

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    So it's been established that self acceptance is about taking inventory of yourself and putting a check mark beside every one. Both the good and the bad.

    Firstly, this isn't a one night show. Taking this inventory takes a while, and furthermore it may take more time to be comfortable putting a check mark along side it. This is a long process. For some, it takes days, others perhaps years. Some finish life without ever accepting themselves. Vanity and shame is being called here. (shame is an evaluation of the person. guilt is the evaluation of the act. there's a difference)

    One of the first things to do is to stop the value comparisons. Status comparisons are different. A status comparison is checking the gas meter. The value comparison is saying that a low gas reading makes the car worse than at least 50% of all the other cars in the road.

    Meditation and logical reasoning helps here.

    After a while, there's a time when one's world view changes for the more optimistic or the more opportunistic. Decisions are made more quickly because this self acceptance has provided a personal definition of oneself that was conducted by oneself.

    This then just describes what a person is, and this is only half the story. The next portion asks what does this person wish to become.

    What the person is, and what the person wants to become both make up the true picture. If a piece is missing, an unhealthy mindset or world view may develop.

    Viktor Frankl and Albert Ellis comes to mind. Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" is a great book on this thread of ideas. And from the therapy side, Ellis' REBT therapy is a great tool to help get through the inventory.

    REBt works on the ABC principle.
    A = activating events
    B = Beliefs about A
    C = Consequences

    Then, one tries to change the beliefs in order to alter the consequences.


    So it starts with the self acceptance/inventory and then progresses into self confidence and then life goals. From knowing where you stand, to knowing where you're headed.
     
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  12. sassafras

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    It means you're not comparing yourself to other people, the family dog or your own vision of perfection. You just are and you're happy to have what you have. How do you do manage that? I think it just goes hand in hand with actually liking who you are; good self-esteem and a healthy level of self-confidence are the the chicken-and-egg problem with self-acceptance.
     
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  13. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    The opposite of rejecting fundamental aspects of your personality or preferences. Acceptance.

    Acceptance need not be liberating, or satisfying - it just means that you don't have the added angst of wanting to reject something fundamental about yourself.
     
  14. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    Good one.

    As for me...
    Understanding our humanity, before reaching divinity.

    The belief of seeing one as it is. Preferably with a blank face like .____. (nah, just kidding); the point is, it's you and yourself. Good, bad, the potential, the missed potential, the faults and the goods....
    Our humanity.
     
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    #14 Trifoilum, Jul 2, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2010
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