I have been on the same situation not long ago so i know how you feel. What i did was i listed all the things that i hate about myself that i need to work on. (I.e: body, confidence, patience etc) and then i joined a writing app and poured all the negative feelings i have there. And then i get comments from strangers telling how much they could relate and how i write well etc. (Which i know contradicts the "not depending the love from others") but overtime the more i pull out all the emotions i kept bottled up inside me, all my frustrations it helped me start to appreciate myself. I also lashed it all out on painting and posted it online. It made me feel good about myself when strangers who don't know me well appreciate my work. Over time i didn't realize i felt lighter, i slept well. i look at the mirror with a girl who can smile now and i learned to love my flaws and accepted that everyone has one. Family noticed that i was confident and radiant. And most of all, i learned that i deserve to experience true happiness, to be appreciated and to experience real love. (Which is loving yourself) it's also important that you are doing this for yourself not because you want someone to love you. That's not how it works. I got tired of depending my happiness from others i woke up one day saying this has to stop. i hope i kind of helped somehow and everything works out well for you as it did on mine. ������ just remain focused.