Regarding one to one relationships exclusively. Friends family and girlfriends.
I've dealt with those issues in both directions. Me feeling that i was fucked up by others, and also being openly blamed for other's problems issues given my immaturity and apparent self-centeredness. Thing is... Guilt exists, and it's a part of this process, but beating yourself that much about it doesn't help. When it comes to psychological issues it's a very entangled subject, you'll never quite know when you step on someone's shoes by doing what seems right to you at a certain moment or you may know and hesitate, but that doesn't seem like an absolute solution in certain situations, at least through my perspective, not that world is cruel, but we are not made solely by good intentions. And i want to be clear that it's not about deliberatedly hurting someone, never, but sometimes it's not avoidable, given differences in perspective.
Having experienced long periods of acute sensitivity in social relationships, where a change of tone in voice could rub me the wrong way, i must say that it's an issue of how confident you may feel in your skin to be able to see things with detachment in certain moments. Fucking it up with others is usual, but if they can't forget, nor forgive you, and keep beating you and bringing that over and over, even when you express utter regret, probably is time to move on and not care that much about it. ime a good person who wants you by her/his side, will always at least understand it.
Anyway, i think this boils down to human interactions.
Cases of trauma caused by actual physical abuse and rape draws the line pretty darn clearly when it comes to responsibility and blame imo. It messes people up and many end up with serious disorders . However as unfair as it may sound, and seeing in some cases, the responsibility for getting back up lies on the victim, not on the person who perpetuated it.
People get wounded all the time anyway, many carry big fat traumas that were not meant to happen nor didn't deserve. Sometimes it seems to me like it's unfair, other times and in some cases it may encourage the person to become stronger and more aware of what life is about. It depends. However life is pretty unfair by default, imo.
As for society, well, by and large, what it promotes is in many instances sick and mentally degrading. Also unrealistic. Many people buy into that, which is a shame. And yeah, it's a sick society and if you buy that much into that shit, you may very well end up batshit crazy sheep doing "meeeeeeh". Changes are pertinent indeed.