"Relax, it's just a joke." | Page 13 | INFJ Forum

"Relax, it's just a joke."

I'm not a geneticist so am not going to comment on the last several comments circulating about that.

I sometimes think that people who say "relax, it's just a joke" really are joking, and in other situations they're saying something they think to be true about the other person but don't want to have a serious discussion about it so they try to pass it off as a joke. Then we have times where one person makes fun of another in front of a group of people to try to elevate their own popularity or to seem like they're funny but they take it too far to the point of humiliation. I think there's a difference between playfully teasing and humiliating someone. I mean, obviously.

In terms of our own personal responsibility, if I feel humiliated by someone it's up to me to let that person know that a boundary was crossed because clearly they either didn't know the boundary or if they did, they didn't respect it. It's up to that individual to decide whether or not they care and if they're going to do anything with it. I can say how I feel, and that's all that I can do outside of managing my expectations around the result. If that person doesn't give me the result I want, I have to decide whether or not I'm going to force the issue or if I'm going to walk away knowing that I can't trust that person under certain conditions. I then have to decide if what they said means something about me, but that is going to depend on how emotionally developed I am and how strong my own personal sense of identity is. I don't find myself particularly vulnerable to this kind of thing NOW, but 5-10 years ago and especially in childhood something like this would have really fucked me up because I had too many competing mental/emotional things going on to take on one single more pain point.

Can we expect someone to come around and say "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that was a sensitive issue for you," or otherwise apologise? Maybe. But we might find ourselves continuously disappointed. I don't know the answer.
 
Can we expect someone to come around and say "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that was a sensitive issue for you," or otherwise apologise? Maybe. But we might find ourselves continuously disappointed.

What is disappointing about being apologized to? Maybe I'm not following here
 
Sorry, I should have more clearly stated that we won't always get that from someone despite our expectations.

Ohh! Haha I read it wrong really, my bad
 
I liked his perspective as a comedian. Especially at 3:40 minutes in.
Keyword that stuck with me: "Recreational outrage."

 
I am curious about this phenomenon where someone cracks an inappropriate joke, and then when the concerned party is unhappy about it, they are attacked for "being too serious" or "lacking a sense of humor"

Also when the insensitive party is reprimanded for their behaviour they throw their arms up in the air and defend their "right to laugh".
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I am not looking to flame anyone or troll or whatever. I am genuinely curious about the psychology behind it and how this attitude is impacting our society today.

I am going to be dumping any articles or findings here, until I synthesize an opinion of my own. You're welcome to read, participate and comment.

What is your opinion about this quote ?

Slide047.JPG
 
Sorry, I should have more clearly stated that we won't always get that from someone despite our expectations.

Needed this.

Well I'm just gonna take a shit on the board with some truth, and I really don't care anymore... but gotta let it out

Life sucks.
The world sucks.
People suck.
It's all bullshit.

I'm sorry for those who think there is some great mystery or meaningful purpose somewhere "out there" or humanity will reach "some time" but there's not. It's the same shit different pile life on planet earth has been recycling for thousands and thousands of years. It's all bullshit. Beautiful bullshit, yes. But it's suffering, and there's no meaning or purpose behind it.

A cock nuts in a vagina, a baby is developed and born. It learns and realizes one day: huh? This is kind of fucked up? And all the adults shush it and tell it lies to keep having a reason to work, to slave, to suffer, to fuck and get fucked by this goddamn experience. There's nothing, you got it?! Then you die.

So...
Why not laugh and learn to laugh at this cosmic fuckup - it no longer feels like work or suffering... It feels like joy until of course the party's over and you make room for the next bastards to find out for themselves...

:) I like this. Thanks for sharing