[INFJ] Relationships

[x%*YH]

I have issues in friendship and relationships(boyfriend or girlfriend) through my entire life i dont know how to make friends or to keep them since its difficult i dont know what a friend is or a girlfriend. what can i do to learn how to make friends or girlfriend. i find it extremely difficult because the things most people talk about are really boring and most of the people who talk of things i like are older than me while im just a lonely soul whos just 20.


Could someone teach me how to make friends or a girlfriend?

 

[Pin]

I got you fam.

 

[x%*YH]

I got you fam.

thanks!

 

[Pin]

Could someone teach me how to make friends

The friends I have, I've experienced a lot with them. Over time the mutual affinity was built. Experience more. Seriously, when you're not working you've got to go out. Climb mountains, shoot at the shooting range, skydive, etc.

or a girlfriend?

Before you choose a particular woman, it's best to be generally attractive to many women: become fit, get a good profession, do cool activities (hunting, skydiving, race-car driving, guitar playing).

The more successful you become in this world, the more women you'll attract. You've got to make your own moves.

Metaphorically, a man's got to slay dragons. You can't slay dragons while weak and powerless.

 

[Pin]

 

[x%*YH]

thank you mate for the advices! ill shape my life.im a guitar player and digital artist

 

[Asa]

I basically agree with @Pin. To attract people (or the right kind of people for you), you need to focus on being the best version of yourself and strong and happy while single.

It is hard to tell why you can't keep friends. The obvious advice is to join groups with shared interests so you have more to bond over. You may need to do some research on your own behavior to see if there is anything you are doing to push people away.

 

[x%*YH]

I basically agree with @Pin. To attract people (or the right kind of people for you), you need to focus on being the best version of yourself and strong and happy while single.

It is hard to tell why you can't keep friends. The obvious advice is to join groups with shared interests so you have more to bond over. You may need to do some research on your own behavior to see if there is anything you are doing to push people away.

i believe is the reason i am, usually really but really quiet i barely talk and also because i seem to not like care(?). like i dont ask for their number, personal stuff like i dont speak to them in depth but only help people with certain things and just go by my own side. its kinda like that

 

[Asa]

i believe is the reason i am, usually really but really quiet i barely talk and also because i seem to not like care(?). like i dont ask for their number, personal stuff like i dont speak to them in depth but only help people with certain things and just go by my own side. its kinda like that

Ohhhhhhh. Well, yes, you need to engage with people and make an effort to hang out with them to make friends. Since you play guitar, an easy way to make friends would be to invite people to go with you to see bands/music you enjoy. While the music is playing it will be too loud to talk, so there are no worries about being quiet or keeping awkward chat going.

 

[x%*YH]

Ohhhhhhh. Well, yes, you need to engage with people and make an effort to hang out with them to make friends. Since you play guitar, an easy way to make friends would be to invite people to go with you to see bands/music you enjoy. While the music is playing it will be too loud to talk, so there are no worries about being quiet or keeping awkward chat going.

i think it has to do that i talk with people topics that go beyond their imagination, like astrophysics, mathematics, books (non fiction) ive read some fictions but theyre okay and try to explain things and they just make fun of it or look at me like wtf did he say? LOL it feels lonely to connect with people i can talk to about anything. small talk for me is hell, i rather spend days at the library studying than talk about you saw kim kardashian post..... i also dont have social medias(except discord which i use to see announcements) i dont know if that influences in making friends (?)

 

[JennyDaniella]

Great advice @Asa and @Pin are pointing out! Definitely recommend also doing some charity/humanitarian work as well in your local area! Charity organizations are great for not only making new friends who are humble and accepting, but you are also doing a beautiful cause for humanity as well.

In conjunction to what @Asa has said with finding clubs and joining groups that have like-minded interests, you can also download the Meetup app on your phone. Some of my friends use it to find local groups depending on their hobbies and interests! And they have made meaningful friends that way.

I do understand it can be a little intimidating to make an effort at first, but you do gotta try a bit and talk more. It will take some effort from your part and some practice, but eventually it will get easier.

 

[Asa]

@Eddy, you need to find a place where people who share your interests congregate.

 

[x%*YH]

Ill try my best thank you all! ill work on it. thank you guys so much!

 

[Pin]

i believe is the reason i am, usually really but really quiet i barely talk and also because i seem to not like care(?). like i dont ask for their number, personal stuff like i dont speak to them in depth but only help people with certain things and just go by my own side. its kinda like that

I'm someone who talks a lot. You've got to talk more.

 

[Wyote]

i think it has to do that i talk with people topics that go beyond their imagination, like astrophysics, mathematics, books (non fiction) ive read some fictions but theyre okay and try to explain things and they just make fun of it or look at me like wtf did he say? LOL it feels lonely to connect with people i can talk to about anything. small talk for me is hell, i rather spend days at the library studying than talk about you saw kim kardashian post..... i also dont have social medias(except discord which i use to see announcements) i dont know if that influences in making friends (?)

i believe is the reason i am, usually really but really quiet i barely talk and also because i seem to not like care(?). like i dont ask for their number, personal stuff like i dont speak to them in depth but only help people with certain things and just go by my own side. its kinda like that

When you're in a social circumstance and don't know what to say, or don't like where the conversation is going, just try to softly interject and ask direct questions about the person you are interested in getting to know. Listen to how they respond and try to relate follow up questions to them directly, while veering off into whatever direction you want to go. Make sure to give them the opportunity to do the same to you, and be open to answering similar questions about yourself. If they don't ask questions themselves, just sort of insert your own responses periodically. If you're going on for a long time just remember to stop and ask them a question about themselves again. Be open to whatever their responses are and just keep engaging with interest. If you're curious/interested, they'll get energized by that alone most likely.