Reinventing yourself

[Altruistic Muse]

I am in the process of breaking up with my boyfriend right now. It's a mutual decision and very amicable, and more "drawing a line under things" than actually breaking up forever. He is going away to work offshore for a few years, as well as moving home 300 miles away, and I have done, and hated with a passion, the whole long distance thing. So we both thought it best to call it a day while things were happy, and to just have a last month enjoying eachother's company before he goes. And I guess we'll see what happens!

Now that I know that is happening though, I am looking at things to change in my life. I don't know if this is the same with you guys, but whenever something painful happens, staying as I am and thinking about it is the most painful thing of all! What I seem to do, is make a lot of changes so that there are so many new things to think about that the old things cannot upset me. For example, when i split up with my ex, I started a new course, a new job, and my new life was unrecognisable (and so much happier) to my old one that I was able to move on happily.

With the prospect of another break up, I am thinking I might move somewhere. My bf thinks I should do this to broaden my horizons (and I think it would make him feel better that I've got new stuff to do while his whole life is changing too). So I am applying for jobs all over the country. Is this a strange way of doing things or does it keep me sane? Hard to know!

 

[alcyone]

Why would you consider it strange if it works for you?

It may not be 'normal', by the standards of normal society. But hasn't this forum pretty much established that none of us subscribe exactly societal norms?

If it keeps you from stagnating into a depression, why not do it?

 

[AUM]

It's not a strange thing to do, I do this as well. It's like you're starting from scratch and opening a new chapter in your life. If a painful situation rose from me wanting to take this drastic decision, I forgive everyone involved in it including myself and I move on. It's usually a pretty exciting time period for me to change perspectives and places and having the new experience from that painful event in the past is what makes me stronger and ready to confront the new way up ahead.

Anyways, good luck on that journey of yours and hope it brings you peace and comfort in the days ahead of you.

 

[Orion]

It sounds like a good idea to me. I wish I could move on but I've got nowhere to move to.

 

[Nela]

In fact I'm thinking about working on this myself right now. I would say: If it makes you feel better, I see no reason why you shouldn't. It's nice to have something to distract you after a difficult situation. It helps you to move on.

 

[Shai Gar]

I've done that before. When a girls ambition is as strong as mine, and drives her to another part of the world where my ambitions don't take me. It's great to part as friends because it leaves sex on the table when you see each other again.

 

[Altruistic Muse]

I've done that before. When a girls ambition is as strong as mine, and drives her to another part of the world where my ambitions don't take me. It's great to part as friends because it leaves sex on the table when you see each other again.

Haha, thanks Shai, I should imagine that's what he has in mind as an XNTP but that's not the way I do things! Friends means friends.. but will still be nice to be friends anyway. Thanks for support guys. I think it may be seen as odd but I'm just happy I don't seem to allow myself to stagnate like I often see people do, it's like a mechanism to stop that.

 

[acd]

Everything people do is strange, even those "normative" things are absurd. I think it sounds like you are a person who invokes a good challenge to better yourself and not stagnate. Pretty admirable quality.

The world is obviously much bigger than where you're at now. Move outside your radius and learn new things. It's exciting and stimulating and staves off wallowing in things you don't have the power to change.

I think that's what it comes down to: You are perceptive and honest with yourself enough to know when circumstances are beyond your control, so you exert your own control over your life so as not to stagnate. You got Moxy. I like the cut of yerr jib. Keep on keepin on.

 

[daydreamer]

I am in the process of breaking up with my boyfriend right now. It's a mutual decision and very amicable, and more "drawing a line under things" than actually breaking up forever. He is going away to work offshore for a few years, as well as moving home 300 miles away, and I have done, and hated with a passion, the whole long distance thing. So we both thought it best to call it a day while things were happy, and to just have a last month enjoying eachother's company before he goes. And I guess we'll see what happens!

Now that I know that is happening though, I am looking at things to change in my life. I don't know if this is the same with you guys, but whenever something painful happens, staying as I am and thinking about it is the most painful thing of all! What I seem to do, is make a lot of changes so that there are so many new things to think about that the old things cannot upset me. For example, when i split up with my ex, I started a new course, a new job, and my new life was unrecognisable (and so much happier) to my old one that I was able to move on happily.

With the prospect of another break up, I am thinking I might move somewhere. My bf thinks I should do this to broaden my horizons (and I think it would make him feel better that I've got new stuff to do while his whole life is changing too). So I am applying for jobs all over the country. Is this a strange way of doing things or does it keep me sane? Hard to know!

Don't let a GUY bring you down! Show him that you don't need him, you're better then him, and that you totally kick ass! You can do it!