Reading a Room of People as an INFJ

wiredandwound

wiredandwound

Community Member
MBTI
infj
Enneagram
Loyalist
The movements of people toward and away from each other
The body of someone leaning away or towards someone
The subtle glances of a wandering eye
The fleeting changes in a smile
The direction of the body, feet, and face revealing the heart
The accidental stumble or tipping over of a glass
The cadence of a walk
The fluctuation of timbre in a word
The Laugh that turns into a cough
The arching of a back while stretching
The pulling of an earlobe
The hand that reaches out but pulls quickly away from its target
The fluctuation of the volume of conversation

Great party, guys. I'm tired, so it's time for me to go home.

I am interested to see what INFJs may read in the room of people.
 
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Sounds like S type stuff. I interpret in joojoo and woowoo exclusively.
 
Wyote said:
Sounds like S type stuff. I interpret in joojoo and woowoo exclusively.
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That's what I thought. Sounds like Se to me.

Ni 'room reading' would not pick up on such details, but woukd just get a general sense of the 'vibe' of the place.

But more than that, an introvert would find it so difficult to be in the moment that noticing these details would be impossible in the face of the constant interior monologue/overthinking that accompanies being out in social space.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
That's what I thought. Sounds like Se to me.

Ni 'room reading' would not pick up on such details, but woukd just get a general sense of the 'vibe' of the place.
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Hmm, but I can do both. I get a sense of the vibe when I enter a room and then later just by observing whatever OP was writing. Maybe it is because I am HSP as well and HSPs tend to be hyper aware of what is going on in the room. And maybe that's the reason why I was mistyped first as an ISFJ :fearscream:
 
That's how my dad (ISTP) would describe 'reading a room full of people'. He sucks at observing himself, though. The 30 cm personal zone for instance... and it's obvious that he doesn't feel the room.

They say you should never lie to an INFJ, but my dad (and ESTP brother too) is better at spotting lies than any intuitive I know. That's why I've taken an interest in learning face and body reading :grin:
 
Wyote said:
Sounds like S type stuff. I interpret in joojoo and woowoo exclusively.
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Forgive my rationess. If you read my 'new member' intro message, I'm sure it will help to understand my tone.

I'm not young. I'm getting tired. I have never been understood, not even by my closest friends or even family, or co-workers.

Looking at the world, for as long as I have, as someone from the outside looking in, has made me more open to unleash my thoughts.

If you guys want to understand, then you have to 'want' to. I'm not going to hold anybody's hand in this regard, nor am I going to let you project. My time is too precious.
 
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Wyote said:
I'm not holding yours either. My time is more valuable than yours.
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Did you read my new member post?

My thread is on point with a peaceful and enlightening topic of discussion. It wasn't my fault that people had to take in a different direction, and you know that.

You know that INFJs HATE to be projected upon.

If you read anything I've posted - with the exception of one thread where some guy was incessantly in self-denial - you will know that I am quite compassionate.

You also know that INFJ's thoughts and writings, are very different than their public social interaction.

You also know that age brings forth other characteristics that may seem contrary.

There is only one member that has given me grief, and that I have not interacted with respect. And he doesn't seem to respect anybody (you know who I am speaking of).

Yes I am mad. I said it in my New Member Post.

So maybe we should talk about that.
 
wiredandwound said:
It became clear to me very quickly, that this forum is to the same degree of falsehood and pride, that any group of self-identified patrons always seems to inflict upon themselves.

Where do you think the feelings come from? The aether? I bet you do.

I guess that the "General sense of the 'vibe' of the place, just happens"? Did you ever stop to think that an INFJ has an inherent ability to absorb social, and psychological ques?

How's this 'feeling of the room'...

You guys just like to be identified as something, because it makes you feel special, and you treat it like your life depends on it. Frankly, I don't give a shit about how I'm identified. My mommy and daddy taught me how to be proud of who I am, no matter what.

I know what my intuitions are, and they have always served me well - to a fault. People, like yourselves, can't handle the truth we know about you. Just like most, you can't look at your own reflection, because it scares the hell out of you - which proves why you need 'Identity' virtue signals.

Deleted member 16771 is the greatest example of this. (What a fake).

You people probably have never met a real INFJ, just a bunch of fakers who need that extra sense of unique specialness, because they were taught in school that humans aren't special, because we are all just a bunch of accidents.

If you didn't understand the INFJ 'stare', or why we keep our thoughts to ourselves, is for this very reason. People can't handle it.

GFY
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wiredandwound said:
Forgive my rationess. If you read my 'new member' intro message, I'm sure it will help to understand my tone.

I'm not young. I'm getting tired. I have never been understood, not even by my closest friends or even family, or co-workers.

Looking at the world, for as long as I have, as someone from the outside looking in, has made me more open to unleash my thoughts.

If you guys want to understand, then you have to 'want' to. I'm not going to hold anybody's hand in this regard, nor am I going to let you project. My time is too precious.
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This place still has rules. We had a member who thought his insults were not personal attacks because he honestly believed that people were all idiots. That kind of mentality won’t shield you from getting booted if you can’t be troubled to be civil. For now it looks like if we want to understand you, we’ll have to put up with frequent insults, and if that’s the case, your fizzling out and getting banned will be your own fault and nobody else’s.
 
Sloe Djinn said:
This place still has rules. We had a member who thought his insults were not personal attacks because he honestly believed that people were all idiots. That kind of mentality won’t shield you from getting booted if you can’t be troubled to be civil. For now it looks like if we want to understand you, we’ll have to put up with frequent insults, and if that’s the case, your fizzling out and getting banned will be your own fault and nobody else’s.
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Do you think the OP deserved this kind of treatment, then?
 
@wiredandwound
Before this get's out of hand; I think you took this the wrong way. MBTI bashing outside of in jest is pretty much frowned upon here, when people give you their take on MBTI related topics it's not to attack you as a person, but to give their thoughts on the matter. For you to take that personally and rebut with insults is on you. Take it easy for a while and get some distance to it.
 
Using Fe here to lead this back to the original post. I felt like I related your your original post. I'm a IT Project Manager so your posting about being a Production Manager hit very close to home.

wiredandwound said:
The movements of people toward and away from each other
The body of someone leaning away or towards someone
The subtle glances of a wandering eye
The fleeting changes in a smile
The direction of the body, feet, and face revealing the heart
The accidental stumble or tipping over of a glass
The cadence of a walk
The fluctuation of timbre in a word
The Laugh that turns into a cough
The arching of a back while stretching
The pulling of an earlobe
The hand that reaches out but pulls quickly away from its target
The fluctuation of the volume of conversation

Great party, guys. I'm tired, so it's time for me to go home.
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I will notice what you describe but if I really focus and lean into I become expressionless and burn out quick - which I think is what you original post was really relating. I use a lot of the information Se provides without really focusing on it and it's usually for quick little snippets. I get distracted very easily if i'm around people for a long periods of time. I saw a coworker today in the hallway that was unshaven, dark circles, and looked low energy. He likes to drink and our boss started her vacation today. I assume he stayed out late drinking and brought him a water. He was very thankful.

I usually leave a meeting knowing how others feel about what we discussed without them telling me. It's a combination of what they said, what they didn't say, and how they reacted to topics that were discussed.
 
Wyote said:
Not everything is projection my dude, nor is it all about you
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Likewise. But that doesn't address the
Elis said:
@wiredandwound
Before this get's out of hand; I think you took this the wrong way. MBTI bashing outside of in jest is pretty much frowned upon here, when people give you their take on MBTI related topics it's not to attack you as a person, but to give their thoughts on the matter. For you to take that personally and rebut with insults is on you. Take it easy for a while and get some distance to it.
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I completely understand what you are saying, and it is very true. But the OP had a clear intention, which was taken in a totally different direction for reasons I believe to be reactions based on some other thread.

If you guys don't want me to interact respectively - don't encourage it. This is all I'm saying.

I started this Thread because I realized that what I was doing previously was negative, so I wanted to talk about something that would be constructive and positive.
 
Daustus said:
Using Fe here to lead this back to the original post. I felt like I related your your original post. I'm a IT Project Manager so your posting about being a Production Manager hit very close to home.



I will notice what you describe but if I really focus and lean into I become expressionless and burn out quick - which I think is what you original post was really relating. I use a lot of the information Se provides without really focusing on it and it's usually for quick little snippets. I get distracted very easily if i'm around people for a long periods of time. I saw a coworker today in the hallway that was unshaven, dark circles, and looked low energy. He likes to drink and our boss started her vacation today. I assume he stayed out late drinking and brought him a water. He was very thankful.

I usually leave a meeting knowing how others feel about what we discussed without them telling me. It's a combination of what they said, what they didn't say, and how they reacted to topics that were discussed.
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Thank you. I know what you are talking about. The tired aspect is dead on.
 
Daustus said:
I usually leave a meeting knowing how others feel about what we discussed without them telling me. It's a combination of what they said, what they didn't say, and how they reacted to topics that were discussed.
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This is exactly why it can so frustrating for me. I leave every single meeting having an understanding, where I know what was actually being said beyond the words. But the issue I have is that Even though I know what people are up to, I find it difficult to address their deceptive intentions without hurting myself in the process.
 
Have you ever considered that maybe your chief problem here is that you’re trying to present yourself as smarter and more competent than everyone else? I know you came here with the desire to have interesting, peaceful and respectful conversations, but you don’t seem to be aware that your behavior is at complete odds with your intention. You haven’t been conversing with people… you have been instructing, correcting and, in a few cases, insulting people under the guise of trying to help them. And while what you’re saying has merit, it’s your attitude that disrupts your message because your approach seems to be more about feeding your ego than supporting the other person.

If the shoe was on the other foot and someone was trying to make themselves feel better at your expense, would you want to listen what they have to say? Would you like them very much? If you saw them again after a consistent pattern of this behavior, wouldn't you be less open to hearing them out?

I think reading a room is an essential social skill but what good is it if you don’t know how to position yourself in it? What good is wanting to relate to people when you’re trying to blot out their individual experiences with your own?

Social interaction is give and take. You have a lot of knowledge and you say you're a compassionate individual, but thus far, you haven't really demonstrated that compassion very convincingly.

Fortunately, this is not the first time someone has given off the wrong impression. Sometimes it takes a while to get into the groove of text-based conversation and what this community values and how we all blend in together. And I really don't think it was your intention to come off the way you did. Perhaps you can take this under advisement and we can all start over?
 
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