Question for the ladies.... | INFJ Forum

Question for the ladies....

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by deniele, Mar 24, 2010.

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  1. deniele

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    Why I titled the thread the way I did is that I want the ladies advice, lol. Ok, I've went out with this women twice for the past month, talked on the phone or texted messaged almost every day. I've probably texted her more than she has me, but we knew everything about one another. We had already talked on the phone a few days before we went out, almost everyday. She already knew alot about me from her friend and all I knew was from what she told me on the phone. She knew about my past, which as been rocky and I knew some about hers. We liked almost the same things, both had been cheated on in a relationship. So we had alot in common, both bad and good. First date, we both were nervous and I was totally unperpared. I made it through it thinking I had bombed out, but she called me later and we talked. I told her I was nervous and she said that was fine. Then we just kept talking on the phone and texting. We went out again a couple of weeks later, out to eat and the movies. First date, no holding hands nothing like that, just talking a little. On second date we were at the movies and I held her hand, but wasn't for sure if it bothered her or not, my idea. After that she drove me home and dropped me off, no good night sugar, lol, nothing like that. I think she was still a little nervous and I was too. We may be going out this weekend, not for sure. I have backed off on my calling and texting because I thought it may be bothering her. I was trying to figure out if she was interested or not, I posted another question about that earlier. Anyway I've backed off and she texts me almost everyday after she gets off of work, or at night. I try to talk on the phone at least every other night or 3 or 4 times a week. I've backed off more now than I had the first couple of weeks, I was just afriad she was going to think I was not interested. I've been trying to see signs she's interested but I just don't know. I was wondering if you ladies could tell me from what I have posted if she may be. She works in the morning time, then talks to some of her family in the afternoon, and me some. She has never been married, I have. She says everyone she has gone out with is either a jerk or just wrapped up in their selves. I don't believe I'm like that. Is there some signs I can watch for or does it sound like I'm doing good. Thanks in advance.


     
  2. Entyqua

    Entyqua Forgotten
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    I cant deduce from this the exact nature of the relationship, but from what you have posted i cant see that your doing anything wrong. Just be yourself. If you have that much in common, things can just fall into place. The relationship is still very new.
     
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  3. Gaze

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    Agree with Enty. I would add that maybe she feels a little unsure. Maybe she's still dealing with some of these feelings from previous relationships. Probably just being cautious. Maybe her feelings are getting stronger but she wants to avoid moving too quickly. Allow it continue going slowly as you've been doing. Let her lead the pace, since she seems to feel more comfortable with that.
     
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    #3 Gaze, Mar 25, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2010
  4. anica

    anica dark dreamer
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    Question for the ladies

    I think Enty and Restraint are onto something here. Taking it slow and letting her set the pace seems best--especially given some of her past experiences--until you two know each other a lot better. So far, though, you seem to be doing the right stuff. Relax, be yourself and enjoy. Letting her see who you are is important.
     
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  5. Ria

    Ria Snow White over the ocean

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    Sometimes us gals struggle with a bit of ambivanlence because like guys, we don't always know what we want in the moment. I think though, that you're doing a good job. That fact that you care more about how she is feeling, tells me that you're being a "man". (thumbs up). With women, I guess the universal want and need, is to feel appreciated, recognized, listened to and treated like we come first (and all that jazz). If she is shy, then you're doing all the right things to give her reason to feel safe, and it sounds like she's dated some doozies, so she needs to develope trust for you. You're doing fine, try not to worry too much and just continue to take things slow :)

    I'm curious though, I highlighted part of a sentence you wrote in your OP. I'm a bit confused though as to if you meant you "posted" this question to her specifically, or in another thread on the forum, because it looks as though this is your first post here.
     
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