Putting yourself first... ? | INFJ Forum

Putting yourself first... ?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Razare, Aug 14, 2010.

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  1. Razare

    Razare Community Member

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    Huh??



    -deleted thread- I screwed up the original post, and people are too busy to read through the subsequent posts. Sorry.
     
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    #1 Razare, Aug 14, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2010
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  2. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    This is ironic.
     
    #2 acd, Aug 14, 2010
  3. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    maybe its proof that love is always somewhat conditional. in this case, the condition would be a little reciprocation.

    Razare, i don't think you're doing anything wrong, but you might not be being totally honest with yourself about what you expect from others.
     
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    #3 TinyBubbles, Aug 14, 2010
  4. OP
    Razare

    Razare Community Member

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    Well, when I say providing love unconditionally, let me clarify...

    I don't just start loving them for no reason. There's reasons behind it, just it's very much based on who they are and it's not based on meeting expectations that I set. They should already meet my demands for the most part by being themselves, so there is little for me to require of them. My demands in a relationship are the basic things, love, honesty, communication, spending time together. I'm sure there's a couple more, but to me, it's not rocket science and it's stuff that pretty much coincides with what you'd call a healthy relationship.
     
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    #4 Razare, Aug 14, 2010
  5. DoveAlexa

    DoveAlexa Chaz's Lovey Bunny
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    Look at who the likely audience for whatever article you read was. It was likely for people like you who get taken advantage of, not the selfish pricks most people are in a relationship, they don't go looking for that kinda of advice. (They go looking for ways to find the best partner or how to change/control their partner).
    Instead, looks at what you are now, and then go halfway towards the oposite direction. Same advice for the selfish side people.
     
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    #5 DoveAlexa, Aug 14, 2010
  6. Wyote

    Wyote Istaqa
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    I know what you are talking about Razare, I am the same way. Trouble is, a lot of people say that's all they require but it's not true for most people. People discover that they do have various other expectations along the way. I wish so badly for love to be that simple, but it has proven to be far more complex.

    You have to find somebody that pushes you just a touch outside your comfort zone and you have to provide that same push for them. Stagnation is a major relationship killer.
     
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    #6 Wyote, Aug 14, 2010
  7. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    #7 Reon, Aug 14, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2010
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  8. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    I'm sorry. I have little sympathy for people who complain that they give their love unconditionally to people only to not have it reciprocated.. The thing is, deep down, you feel you need those jerks more than you need a suitable companion. Ask yourself why that is. Take care of yourself first and you're not going to attract and be attracted to people who are going to 'take advantage' of you.
     
    #8 acd, Aug 14, 2010
  9. OP
    Razare

    Razare Community Member

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    Please read my second post before responding, Yes, I don't love "without strings attached" my strings are the necessary components of a good relationship.

    Let me yet again rephrase it to make this clear..

    Razare = Very Low Maintenance

    Other People = Seemingly High Maintenance in comparison
     
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    #9 Razare, Aug 14, 2010
  10. OP
    Razare

    Razare Community Member

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    You know what, screw it, this thread is totally mis-understood, I'll delete it. Sorry for the bother.
     
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    #10 Razare, Aug 14, 2010
  11. Reon

    Reon Midnight's Garden

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    NVM. Thread is over
     
    #11 Reon, Aug 14, 2010
  12. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Just have relationships with other low maintenence people then.
     
    #12 acd, Aug 14, 2010
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