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Featured [INFJ] post first date situation

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by BlackHorse, Mar 8, 2020.

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  1. slant

    slant Fairly Tragic

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    That happens to me, too. The root of that for me i discovered was low self worth and low self esteem. I have had to build a relationship with myself and only until it got solid was I able to really start to date. I can feel the difference, too. The quality of people I date has improved and I don't find myself dealing with as many problematic people.

    Anyway I sympathize. I hope you're able to better care for yourself in a way that attracts people who are good for you.
     
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  2. Ren

    Ren Pin's android

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    Yes, I suppose the practical implication is wait.

    It works better in the negative, i.e. don't focus on someone who doesn't deserve you.
     
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  3. OP
    BlackHorse

    BlackHorse Community Member

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    Thank you @slant, it's nice to hear you're doing great :smiley: That's definitely root problem for me too, but I'm proud of my small steps.. I mean, at least I'm not running after every douchebag :grimacing::tearsofjoy:
     
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  4. Ren

    Ren Pin's android

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    If you feel a good vibe with someone on Tinder, I think it's advisable to suggest going on a date after 1 or 2 days max. This is precisely so that the conversation doesn't end up losing steam. It's a constant risk with Tinder. It's better to agree on a date, exchange numbers, and then give each other a few days without texting (until the date) to preserve some excitement and mystery.

    I understand it's not easy when the guy doesn't ask out, since usually it is men who do.
     
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  5. OP
    BlackHorse

    BlackHorse Community Member

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    I just don't feel the excitement to meet them even when conversation is nice.
    Also I don't have anyone (except few weirdos every day) near me for the past month on tinder so I'm more or less done.. I live in a city with about 20k people.
    Maybe I will go out again (after 10 years) when this pandemic is over.
     
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  6. Ren

    Ren Pin's android

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    Miss BlackHorse is certainly picky :tongueout:
     
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  7. Professor Snep

    Professor Snep Smart. Sexy. Snep.

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  8. JustPhil

    Donor

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    I'm the same .. but I like to call it "discerning" :tongueclosed:

    @BlackHorse - stick to your guns I say. It's lonely sometimes. I feel for you even if I'm in the same position. :flushed:

    I really want someone that I can connect with. It just seems that a lot of people are looking for something different. That's just the way it is, and you need to accept that whatever you're looking for that it might take time to find.
     
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  9. OP
    BlackHorse

    BlackHorse Community Member

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    Am I picky or am I just specific about what I want? :smirk:

    Yes! And yet everyone decides being a moron is a good idea.
     
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  10. Ren

    Ren Pin's android

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    Nothing wrong with being picky... or discerning ;)
     
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  11. Ren

    Ren Pin's android

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    I got all my Tinder knowledge from @mintoots
     
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  12. Ren

    Ren Pin's android

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    Specific, and that's good.

    For what it's worth, I went on a lot of Tinder dates last year and none of them worked out either.
     
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  13. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    What?


    WHAAAAAAT?

    I'm a virgin, gurl. Don't listen to these knuckleheads.
     
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  14. Ren

    Ren Pin's android

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    We're just messing with you, Min!

    Also, thanks for calling me a knucklehead. I think this is the first time I've been called that. I like it.
     
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  15. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    Lolololol


    [​IMG]
     
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  16. OP
    BlackHorse

    BlackHorse Community Member

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    It's good in theory.
    How do you handle that? The worst thing are expectations... and when something doesn't work out I can't deal anymore. I need weeks just to get back on track.
    Some people date all the time. ... how :neutral:
     
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  17. OP
    BlackHorse

    BlackHorse Community Member

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    Don't worry, I wasn't taking them seriously :tearsofjoy:
     
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  18. Professor Snep

    Professor Snep Smart. Sexy. Snep.

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    We get all our flirting tips from you
    [​IMG]
     
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  19. mintoots

    mintoots Also: Tooth, 뚵수, Tootsu

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    [​IMG]
     
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  20. Professor Snep

    Professor Snep Smart. Sexy. Snep.

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    But I even took notes!
     
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