Personal Development=loss of identity | INFJ Forum

Personal Development=loss of identity

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by AUM, Jul 27, 2010.

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  1. AUM

    AUM The Romantic Scientist

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    Have any one of you noticed that while you're working really hard to develop yourself, there is less and less solidity in your personality and identity. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, the opposite, I think it's quite a good thing in my opinion but when you begin to balance yourself out, your ego becomes less domineering and more malleable with what life throws at you. In this sense, your ego becomes your ally, and not this rigid dictator who expects to have things his way. It becomes like a guru that is able to integrate various dynamics of human behavior and transcend what you were before. You're able to see life as "you", but at the same time, you allow multiple types of information to set on your being, not as a threat, but as a way to progress your complete form.



    I'm aware that there is going to be debate about the phrase "loss of identity" because most people are afraid of doing just that. But if I tell you "tell me who (insert name) is? Where exactly is (insert name) located? Is it a body part? The brain?" The fact is that there is no identity to begin with. We are just parts that together make up an object...us.

    Don't worry, there's no need to agree with me on this, just give me your opinion on what you really think about personal development?Identity?
     
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  2. revery2043

    revery2043 Newbie

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    hmm, I get where you're going, but I wouldn't qualify it as "loss of identity" per se, but more so an expansion of your identity i.e. you become more aware of how you are integrated and connected to everyone and everything about you more. Semantics? probably. :)
     
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  3. OP
    AUM

    AUM The Romantic Scientist

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    Yeah, I think that there is confusion with the word "identity". When I said "loss of identity" I didn't mean that you stop knowing who you are, but rather, that identity itself can be adaptable to changes in your life. In other words, that it is not fixed. If you have bad habits, there are always ways to change those habits to more healthy ones.

    If we go to the quantum level, when we look at a table, we see something fixed and solid, but on that molecular level, there are atoms that have an unfixed universe inside the solid mass we see. I think it's the same with us, no matter how solid our personality and being may seem, there is always something more profound. There are people who say that the "soul" is the fundamental level of our beings, but maybe if there was a tool to observe such a soul, we would find out that there is something deeper dwelling in that unreachable place.
     
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  4. denkster06

    denkster06 Regular Poster

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    when you focus and determine yourself other things tend to work out for the greater good of your goal. you might give up a pot smoking habit for your job. or you might stop going to the club every night because you want to settle down with someone.

    you dont always lose your identity in my opinion, you just change out of your old habits.
    besides, our 'identities' change all the time. even your taste buds change over time
     
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    #4 denkster06, Jul 27, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2010
  5. OP
    AUM

    AUM The Romantic Scientist

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    My point exactly :D
     
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  6. Morgain

    Morgain defective wisdom
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    yes I have noticed this too.

    It is like when you develop your personality you become more fluent, less rigid. Instead of being a slave of your personality you become an observator of it. Instead of letting other people push your buttons, you become aware of those buttons and you can observe how you would react if you let them push them and you can choose not to react.

    I also think it is a good thing. Because when you stop being a lsave of your personality, you can start interacting with people in a more balanced harmonious way.

    Have you also noticed that other people can act negatively on this? People really like to pin you down to a certain personality, I guess it gives security to know how a person is going to act in a given situation. But when you are devoloping your personality, you stop behaving in your old ways and that makes them scared/confused. I have noticed that a lot of people try to push me back into my old patterns. Because in there eyes I am my old patterns and they don't want to change there view on me...
     
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  7. SPQR

    SPQR Community Member

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    I quite agree. If you don't change youself from time to time, you face the risk of stagnation.
     
  8. NeverAmI

    NeverAmI Satisclassifaction
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    But what is identity? Is it one's portrayal of oneself? If that is the answer, then how many truly have a good sense of identity to begin with? After all, how often do we deceive both ourself and others?

    If you value something strongly, that is part of your identity. So really, it is perhaps just memories and repetitious ways of judging things. Memories might fade, but I don't know that changing your perspective would really make memories go away, perhaps just move away from the repetitious way of categorizing them.

    I see self-improvement as a budding flower. The roots are always there, some years the flower might bud a different color, some seasons are more catered towards growth than others. Whether you are fine with the current circumstances, or you want change, either is acceptable.
     
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  9. Gaze

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    Actually, this is one of the most interesting things i've noticed about myself in the past few months. You're the first person to ever explain it the way i've experienced it. It's had the most impact on my life, because now you tend to fit yourself to the situation and circumstances rather than demand that things work the way you want them to. Very interesting phenomenon.

    Good description.


    Yep, yep, yep, and yep!
     
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    #9 Gaze, Jul 27, 2010
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2010
  10. KazeCraven

    KazeCraven Graduated from Typology : May 2011
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    I would have thought that personal development would be a reassertion of identity. When I am motivated to the pursuit of personal development, it is usually because I have an image of myself that does not seem to be manifesting in reality.

    Personal development is just changing the outer me to be congruent with the inner me, and that to me feels like personality stabilizing.
     
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  11. Lady Shiori

    Lady Shiori Regular Poster

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    I noticed that the more comfortable I became in my identity, the less harsh I was on anyone else when they tried to pressure me into doing other things. It felt like I was no longer defined by any few interests or traits, but simply a whole person, someone who wouldn't be forced into doing anything they didn't want to do, but not snotty about it either. I think anyone who really knows who they are don't limit themselves to any specific name tag, but use many colors to represent who they are.
     
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  12. Setka

    Setka Newbie

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    IMO, our personal flaws and imperfections have a role in shaping our identity. In our journey for self development, we refine ourselves to improve upon these qualities and cultivate a new identity for ourselves.
     
  13. deadred

    deadred Community Member

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    If we are truly open minded and aware of our own makeup and identity, we shold have no problem with change. The only thing constant about life is change. We don't have to change at the drop of a hat but adapt ourselves as we see fit. We make those judgements all the time. I don't see that as not being true to ourselves, but as being flexible. I don't change in a willy-nilly fashion, and I doubt that any of us do. I just see it as being aware of the possibility that new information comes in all the time, and being adaptable to needed change.
     
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