People don't care anymore...

Oh I understand this.. Recently it has happened a lot to me also!

I also often feel like people don't care.. I can't stand it when people act as if nothing happened. Especially after an argument. My mother for instance does this all the time. It's driving me mad! I think it's just another way of dealing with things.. But I am incapable of doing that.

I really want to talk things through, I need it that arguments are 'solved'. I can't just ignore it if something has happened, because I keep thinking about it. But in my experience a lot of people often don't care about the 'talking' part. It gets me frustrated as well..

 

Some people do this because they want to forget about the fight they had.

 

I don't think in most cases it's people not caring, it's more that they don't care about the same things as we do or in the same way anyway. To them, there really is no conflict. Their life is simpler that way. shrug

 

I also hate it when there has been an argument and it is ignored. I also need to talk things through, to make shore everybody is alright again and most of all, that they still care for me even we just had a fight

but I also experienced that 'talking it through' is not always the answer. It doesn't always make me feal better. A lot of times when I have a disagreement with someone, talking it through doesn't ends with a solution because we both still disagree on the matter and we just have to live with it. Ignoring it and keeping it quiet seems than better than to keep bringing it up. And other times when I want to talk it through, I don't do it because I don't want to hurt anyones fealings or I don't want to distroy the new found peace.

but still, it never feels good to me when we haven't talked about it...

 

When people ignore me, I assume they don't like me and am afraid to press them on it. I'm usually right that they don't like me.

To Odyne- You seem like a really great person, and I don't see anything wrong with what you are doing. People suck though, so don't be too disappointed when they stop caring. Most people only care about themselves.

 

No one cares. Get used to it.

 

Its a part of life people will use and abuse you. The trick is finding the ones who won't. I try to settle conflict one way or the other if I lose a friend so be it. Its how it goes. If they come back I may befriend them again but the friendship will be different.

 

This same thing happened to me too recently.
UGH.
Maybe it's stars....I should check my astrological forecast. lol.

 

Neither can I, still working on it.

 

Major pet-peeve of mine. I hate when people have the nerve to insult me this way, then act as if nothing happened. It takes me a very long time to get over slights.

I find people are more and more conflict-avoidant nowadays, with the rise of the internet and other technologies which allow them to be passive-aggressive instead of being direct, facing people, head on. It's very annoying. I've developed an extreme distaste for communicating online for this reason. I'd much rather have a face-to-face conversation.

 

*sigh* I'm on the other side of this equation. You see, I was the person thatno longer cared while my friends and family around me were the ones frustrated that I never came to them for help when there was still time to help. But I slapped all their outreached hands away, and couldn't be bothered to ask for the help I needed because I wanted to solve things on my own. It's a pride thing, and obviously, I have no one else to blame but myself. I just feel incredibly guilty that my suffering is spreading to the ones I care about, and I can't turn to them now and say that I need their support... because I get the "told you so's" and the "you should've asked for help earliers." It's hard to keep emotions in check when things have reached a breaking point. But I deserve every minute of it. Maybe I'll remember this pain long enough to turn my life around, and never fall back on it again.

Ignoring things is the easy way. That's why I get so mad when people ignore their problems, or fall back on excuses. I've been there and I've done that, and I am in the middle of a rut and I'm trying to dig myself out. And it's SO much harder this way, because you're not the only one stressing. It amazes me how many people we fail to see that are there for us in our lives but we can't see them because we're busy feeling sorry for ourselves.

And to think, it would've all ended differently if we just changed one simple thing about ourselves that would have saved us all this misery: Faced the problem. The REAL problem and stopped wasting all that energy denying it or running away.

I don't have any advice for you, Odyne. I have a feeling, though, that whatever situation you're referring to, maybe your friend just needs some comfort and support--not an 'I told you so.'

 

You could say that I'm one of those people that from time to time scoops problems under the carpet just because at that moment I don't know how to handle them. If I've had a problem with someone(especially someone I care about) I may not show any reaction to an offense or an argument with someone I'll pretend as if nothing happened and just continue to treat them "nicely". However, when I get my alone time that's when I think things through and try to come up with ways that I can either solve the situation or at least face it regardless of the consequences. If someone is having an emotional problem I would sometimes appear as a cold and emotionless person but I don't do it because I don't care but because at that time a millions of emotions and thoughts are going through my mind and don't know what's the appropriate course of action I should take(for example if I should hug them in a tense and emotional situation or to just let them alone until they cool off). The more I think about an action that I should take the more nervous I get because in my head lots of things are passing by but in reality I do care, I care too much.

 

The frustration you expirence are your methods and expectations being shattered.

 

Good. Now rebuild. Read my how to give advice thread.