Pay It Forward

[JGirl]

do you?

what are your thoughts about the concept of paying a good deed forward instead of back?

how would you rather someone respond to your help or favor or deed?

as for me, i always tell the person to do something for someone else, to not wait to do it, and to make sure to tell that person to pay it forward to someone else.
i think that doing it this way feels better than getting what i would consider an obligatory return on my loving gesture.

 

[sassafras]

Completely unrelated, but I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone with this forum today. Everything that I've been discussing with people in RL in the past three days is coming up as a topic in here lately. Most of the other stuff is benign coincidence, but this particular subject... yeah, really, really weird.

Anyway, moments of mind-boggling synchronicity aside, I will relate what I said to a friend just last night: paying it forward is not a policy I vocally or even consciously endorse, but looking back on my life, I realize that I do practice it as it ties into my personal and spiritual beliefs. Part of it is because I do truly believe that what you put into the universe eventually comes back to you, but also because there's enough hatred and anger and selfishness in this world that sometimes one drop of kindness can make the difference between a tragedy or a miracle in someone's life.

Fundamentally, though, I believe that good deeds inspire good deeds. Maybe not immediately. Maybe the favour I do for someone won't sink in until years later when I'm not even around to witness it, but I trust that that same favour might pay dividends for someone else in the form of a lesson that person learned as a result of my actions, or even just planted the seed for something positive. However way it happens, I profoundly believe that the universe has its own system of checks and balances and paying it forward is an integral part of challenging the culture of negativity born of ego and ignorance.

I don't believe anyone owes me anything if I do something nice for them, and I don't think I've ever told anyone to pay it forward until just a few days ago (and that was because they asked me what they could do for me in exchange, hence our discussion). I don't have expectations, just the faith that it will happen someday, however way that karmic thread ends up resolving itself and I don't have to know about it.

 

[JGirl]

[MENTION=1360]TheDaringHatTrick[/MENTION]
i don't go around announcing it to the world or anything lol - more or less the situation you describe. if someone asks or mentions repayment i will tell them to give or do for someone else.
people need to hear that sometimes. the concept doesn't come as easily to some - i feel that is because they spend a lifetime not realizing what it means to give.
it's not a burden it's a joy. they do not owe me for that, but i want them to feel it for themselves.
it's one of those rare win/win things in life.

 

[sassafras]

@TheDaringHatTrick
i don't go around announcing it to the world or anything lol .

My apologies, JGirl; I wasn't at all implying that you personally would do so. I was simply responding to your question on how I would like to see it repaid and it followed naturally into my idea that I wouldn't be able to see it done.

- more or less the situation you describe. if someone asks or mentions repayment i will tell them to give or do for someone else.
people need to hear that sometimes. the concept doesn't come as easily to some - i feel that is because they spend a lifetime not realizing what it means to give.
it's not a burden it's a joy. they do not owe me for that, but i want them to feel it for themselves.
it's one of those rare win/win things in life

Agreed. I suppose the problem that most people have is the idea of 'paying' for anything. Even the term 'pay it forward' makes it sound like a transaction when it is so much more than that. I think it ties into this sad concept people have of compassion being synonymous with weakness and vulnerability. We're taught about never doing anything for free, that people can screw us over, that people are naturally greedy and cruel, that we forget our humanity in our eagerness to sooth the frightened animal within.

 

[JGirl]

My apologies, JGirl; I wasn't at all implying that you personally would do so. I was simply responding to your question on how I would like to see it repaid and it followed naturally into my idea that I wouldn't be able to see it done.



Agreed. I suppose the problem that most people have is the idea of 'paying' for anything. Even the term 'pay it forward' makes it sound like a transaction when it is so much more than that. I think it ties into this sad concept people have of compassion being synonymous with weakness and vulnerability. We're taught about never doing anything for free, that people can screw us over, that people are naturally greedy and cruel, that we forget our humanity in our eagerness to sooth the frightened animal within.

agreed
still, at some point each of us needs to look inward and decide that it doesn't matter what the rest of the world is doing, it's important what we ourselves are contributing.
if it goes no further than the one i help or share with or give to that's got to be enough. if it goes further that's not for me, it's out there now, growing.

 

[Soulful]

I understand "pay it forward" to mean someone does a kind act for me, and I in turn go and seek to do one for others.

I have three answers to this that I've numerated, for no particular reason other than ease of expression.

1) I seek to practice kindness as a way of life. This is because I have had kindness bestowed upon me and do in fact wish to pay it forward. The kindness I experienced that has had so deeply impacted me was now long ago. Still, it lives on with and within me.

2) I do have trouble accepting some kindness from strangers and even friends, and I rarely ask for help from most people. I usually go at things alone, so when someone does do something kind for me I tend to be very touched and that only reinforces my belief in acting in kindness. Because I am learning to reach out and connect more, I frequently find myself appreciating what other people are doing and therefore establishing an ever deeper foundation for wanting to live kindly.

3) Being kind and caring toward others is such a pleasant state to inhabit. I can't imagine not wanting to live that way.

However, I don't consiously practice the "pay it forward" approach. If I can and decide to offer kindness to another being, I do so. If I am offered kindness from someone else, I seek to accept it graciously. These do not have to be related, or follow one another sequentially. But of course they do reinforce one another and shape my impression of the world collaboratively, just on a much more subconscious and conceptual level.

 

[grt$5vb]

I love this topic! I do this whenever I can and prefer to do so anonymously. Usually just little things like leaving detergent in my apt laundry room for someone to use, or when we were in the hotel I would put change in the dryers and switch people's clothes over or fold them if they were dry. Lol, I sound like a laundry fairy!

This reminds me of when I was young I would wait for my grandmother to fall asleep and my sister and I would take the heaps of linens out of her closet, fold, sort and re-stack them so everything was organized and she could close the door easily. We would tell her night fairies must have done it.

 

[JGirl]

I love this topic! I do this whenever I can and prefer to do so anonymously. Usually just little things like leaving detergent in my apt laundry room for someone to use, or when we were in the hotel I would put change in the dryers and switch people's clothes over or fold them if they were dry. Lol, I sound like a laundry fairy!

This reminds me of when I was young I would wait for my grandmother to fall asleep and my sister and I would take the heaps of linens out of her closet, fold, sort and re-stack them so everything was organized and she could close the door easily. We would tell her night fairies must have done it.

i love this

 

[Matt3737]

Trade between primitive societies was largely based on the fundamental concept of reciprocity and gift-giving.

Most people assume bartering to be the fundamental origin of trade preceding the orgination of money, but bartering is a somewhat limited social aspect of trading because it suffers from a lack of liquidity. See: Coincidence of Wants.

Trade between different social groups/cultures/languages was conducted through an unspoken establishment of trust. The giving of gifts would either be exchanged simultaneously or at a later date that helped to establish good relations between such groups without any mutual understanding of either's culture or language.