Nothing new:(

yeah, *pours coffee and shares in the frustration*

 

I am drinking tea, otherwise failed loves are the story of my life.
I dont understand why people who want love so much, can't seem to keep it. Where do we go wrong?

 

My only explaination is: That as idealists, we simply set the bar too high, especially for ourselves.
As soon as I make one mistake, It goes down hill from there.
I have serious issues with seeing myself as a failure. And once I see myself as having failed my love., no matter how much they forgive me, I cannot forgive myself.

 

Drinking my coffee...or tea...by myself for two decades here!!! In my world relationships are in the same realm as the Loch Ness Monster....possible, given a large dose of fantasy. From the perspective of long-term singleness it is amazing the pull relationships have on people...that and the huge amounts of energy such a pursuits absorb. I am done with it....the old ticker just can't go there anymore...a cog has fallen out of place. Boing!!!! I do watch on from the sidelines in utterly bewildered amusement, though....that is, when I am not watching the planets spin in their orbits.

 

I know....'tis true with most of my friends as well. Hope things work out for you...just keep those ideals alive and well, I say. Just because the world is mad does not mean you have to get sucked into the madness, too. That is not worth it. However, something real and lasting is!!!

 

Relationships, to me, seem like a waste of time and energy unless you love the person.
But how do you know when you feel love and not just respect or admiration?
D:

 

I would think respect and admiration are a pretty good foundation to build love on., No?

 

Idealism seriously reduces a chance to find a suitable mate. But it's not because of the impossibly high standards we look for I think the problem is that we try to find the perfect partner in one shot, our so called "true love". And when that love comes around we get trashed because we are unprepared for it. A much better strategy would be to engage in several less than perfect relationships and learn from them. So when the right one comes, we should be ready.

it probably varies with people - some feel it very strongly, others take their time, some claim to have never experienced love at all. But there is a very clear difference between love and respect.

 

Your post got me thinking, this is less me directly responding as it is sharing my reflections that came from your post.

Love complications seem to be the problem for nearly every human. If they are in a relationship, it is turbulent. There are very few people I know who's expectations are met after 5 years, unless they compromised their expectations.

The relationships never feel like they "should." This is my case. I have high expectations, as has been mentioned towards idealists, yet expectations are the foundation of how we live our lives. High expectations? Perhaps. Perhaps our expectations are simply different.

I drink my coffee, I *feel* alone, and deservedly so. I have so many of my own issues that I try to work out. I don't even feel OK with myself. I feel like I don't love myself at times. Perhaps if I did, then I would find someone who is right for me. Then again, I have been given so long to focus on myself because there are few women here that seem like my type. But if there is someone that is my type, I never even approach them. This is fine, but I can't help but feel miserable sometimes.

Cheers to all, let's drink our coffee and enjoy each others' misery.