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Jana

Jana

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MBTI
infj
I don't like feeling that my "life is for rent..." I know it's just the fact that it's Sunday morning and I am alone. Drinking my own coffee. Without any answer why do all my love stories end up bad. Maybe it's something in me.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvmQXuHyKVA&feature=related"]YouTube- Dido - Life for rent (live/Harald Schmidt show)[/ame]

Dido: Life for rent
I haven't really ever found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize that once again I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind
that your heart ain't exactly breaking

It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't lean to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

I've always thought
that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone
and live my life more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me

It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down
While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try
Well how can I say I'm alive

If my life is for rent...
 
I could put it in Emotional support, but in this way thread is open to any discussion about failed loves.
 
yeah, *pours coffee and shares in the frustration*
 
I am drinking tea, otherwise failed loves are the story of my life.
I dont understand why people who want love so much, can't seem to keep it. Where do we go wrong?
 
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INFJesus said:
I am drinking tea, otherwise failed loves are the stroy of my life.
I dont understand why people who want love so much, can't seem to keep it. Where do we go wrong?
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I always think it's something about me. But then I see people around me that are in relationships (relativly happy, it's always relativly) and I have to say that nobody from them is perfect. So why should I be, I am not that bad, really...I just want to drink morning coffee with someone that makes me feel fine.
 
My only explaination is: That as idealists, we simply set the bar too high, especially for ourselves.
As soon as I make one mistake, It goes down hill from there.
I have serious issues with seeing myself as a failure. And once I see myself as having failed my love., no matter how much they forgive me, I cannot forgive myself.
 
INFJesus said:
My only explaination is: That as idealists, we simply set the bar too high, especially for ourselves.
Click to expand...

Tha fact is: I know how can I feel and act when I am siriously in love with someone. So I can't be with someone that does not provoke the best in me. It's just feels wrong. I am bad in compromises. I should be better.
 
Drinking my coffee...or tea...by myself for two decades here!!! In my world relationships are in the same realm as the Loch Ness Monster....possible, given a large dose of fantasy. From the perspective of long-term singleness it is amazing the pull relationships have on people...that and the huge amounts of energy such a pursuits absorb. I am done with it....the old ticker just can't go there anymore...a cog has fallen out of place. Boing!!!! I do watch on from the sidelines in utterly bewildered amusement, though....that is, when I am not watching the planets spin in their orbits.
 
Jana said:
Nice post:)
But, my ticker still ticks with need for some other ticker to tick together for a while in tickful harmony (more or less harmony...).
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I know....'tis true with most of my friends as well. Hope things work out for you...just keep those ideals alive and well, I say. Just because the world is mad does not mean you have to get sucked into the madness, too. That is not worth it. However, something real and lasting is!!!
 
Relationships, to me, seem like a waste of time and energy unless you love the person.
But how do you know when you feel love and not just respect or admiration?
D:
 
laurie said:
Relationships, to me, seem like a waste of time and energy unless you love the person.
But how do you know when you feel love and not just respect or admiration?
D:
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I would think respect and admiration are a pretty good foundation to build love on., No?
 
laurie said:
But how do you know when you feel love and not just respect or admiration?
D:
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Belive me, you know. Even when people claim that they don't know, they usually do, but life is complex, so sometimes they prefer to not se obvious things:)
 
INFJesus said:
I would think respect and admiration are a pretty good foundation to build love on., No?
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Of course, but I respect and few of my friends (and I am not in love with them).
Admiration and respect, neccesary for love, but not enough.
 
Jana said:
Tha fact is: I know how can I feel and act when I am siriously in love with someone. So I can't be with someone that does not provoke the best in me. It's just feels wrong. I am bad in compromises. I should be better.
Click to expand...

Idealism seriously reduces a chance to find a suitable mate. But it's not because of the impossibly high standards we look for :) I think the problem is that we try to find the perfect partner in one shot, our so called "true love". And when that love comes around we get trashed because we are unprepared for it. A much better strategy would be to engage in several less than perfect relationships and learn from them. So when the right one comes, we should be ready.


laurie said:
But how do you know when you feel love and not just respect or admiration?
D:
Click to expand...

it probably varies with people - some feel it very strongly, others take their time, some claim to have never experienced love at all. But there is a very clear difference between love and respect.
 
Your post got me thinking, this is less me directly responding as it is sharing my reflections that came from your post.

Love complications seem to be the problem for nearly every human. If they are in a relationship, it is turbulent. There are very few people I know who's expectations are met after 5 years, unless they compromised their expectations.

The relationships never feel like they "should." This is my case. I have high expectations, as has been mentioned towards idealists, yet expectations are the foundation of how we live our lives. High expectations? Perhaps. Perhaps our expectations are simply different.

I drink my coffee, I *feel* alone, and deservedly so. I have so many of my own issues that I try to work out. I don't even feel OK with myself. I feel like I don't love myself at times. Perhaps if I did, then I would find someone who is right for me. Then again, I have been given so long to focus on myself because there are few women here that seem like my type. But if there is someone that is my type, I never even approach them. This is fine, but I can't help but feel miserable sometimes.

Cheers to all, let's drink our coffee and enjoy each others' misery. :D
 
NeverAmI said:
High expectations? Perhaps. Perhaps our expectations are simply different.
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I agree. Sometimes people around me misunderstand me. They think I have high expectations, but I always try to explain that I might have different needs from them. Do I expect Mr. Perfect and Right??? Of course I don't, I am not naive and I am too old for that. But, do I expect that I spend my time with one that is more important to me than everyone else around me? Yes. Is it too high?
 
NeverAmI said:
But if there is someone that is my type, I never even approach them. This is fine, but I can't help but feel miserable sometimes.
:D
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Well, approach them. There are times when you can't approach to the loved one from different reason.
We are all Les miserables, hi, hi, hi:)
 
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