Non- INFJ perspectives of INFJs via this forum

“Omg I thought I was alone in the world until I learned about MBTI and it was like I was reading about myself!!!!” (Insert stuff about “like minded ppl”)

I think I even said that when I got here.

It’s always interesting to see if the more vulnerable newbs are gonna go nuclear and doorslam the forum or if they can adapt to the milieu.

It doesn’t appear to be the enclave of Jungian theory that it used to be. I know some folks miss that. My interest in typology is pretty superficial so I’m indifferent.

 

Goodness, you’ve got some insight there.

 

Very well written and much apropos. Your summation reads like an online MBTI test result (not one of the crummy ones).

My results only reliably type me as introverted <3

 

I feel like, as it is in general with INFJs, we only get to see the tip of the iceberg most of the time.

Some of them seem pretty normal from how they talk here, some have a few fixations that are less normal but still mostly seem normal. But I only passingly see their posts so...

 

On the negative side, INFJs seem morally hypocritical, holding others to standards, which they make absolutely no effort to hold themselves (Fe). When engaging thinking (inferior Ti), INFJs can be extremely childish engaging in petty semantics and absurd misapplication of logic; like arguing, "you said you wanted a cat, a lion is a cat, why don't you want a lion?"

On the positive, INFJs can understand and engage with concepts and conjecture (Ni), and have an appreciation of aesthetics (Se).

So I enjoy reading INFJ posts which engage the imagination or aesthetics, but intensely dislike posts dripping with moral censure or childish argumentation/rhetoric.The worst example I can think of, which combines both traits I dislike is the "Is it ok to mock the anti vax" thread. The threads I like reading are "what's your dream home", "where are things heading" type threads.

 

I'd huggle you but suspect you'd rather not such a transgression of your personal space.
Instead please accept my greetings and good will. I hope your day is going well.

 

It's surprising how many people who claim to be Ni dominant seem to live in one of their judging functions. They miss such a lot that way. I often wonder why they do it - maybe some of us have never learnt to trust our intuition. It's very easy for friends, parents and teachers to reject and discourage it in a child, who then never learns to use it properly and who ends up trying to live in one of the other functions instead - primarily their tertiary.

I suspect another reason is mis-typing, with some Fi and Ti dominant folks identifying as Ni incorrectly, but their inner rudder still pulling them firmly into their unacknowledged primary judging function.

And all the time, outside all of this, the air is like a cold, sweet white wine, the sea has turned into a whispering indigo mystery, and on the horizon the setting sun has flamed the clouds with fire and vermillion that crown the mountain tops with glory.

 

I don't think INFJs "live in their judging function", they just express it, because it's extroverted (Fe).

The difference between judgers and perceivers is only about which functions are extroverted and which are introverted.

Perceivers' dominant extroverted functions are always either sensing or intuition, whereas judgers'dominant extroverted functions are always either thinking or feeling.

That just means perceivers come across primarily as either sensual (Se), or disorderly (Ne), while judgers come across as primarily orderly (Te), or moralistic (Fe).

 

It's so weird reflecting on the internal (introverted) experiential differences between judgers and perceivers.

My thoughts feel like instantaneously expanded flow charts, process trees, or possibility maps encompassing almost all causes and consequences of particular actions, events, concepts, etc, together with an intuition of the probability connected to each possibility. (All introverted intuition)

Introverted thinking (Ti) seems like such a different subjective experience. I'm only guessing, but I imagine it as an ongoing process of construct upon construct, with constant consistency checking (logic checking).

The difference seems like it could be as vast as someone looking over a detailed topography map noticing water flow paths across a continent, and someone else building a railroad track, constantly aligning new track with the the last part of the completed track.

 

An older friend of mine once commented, in respect of his relationship with his children, "I'm not trying to be their friend. They'll have dozens of friends in their lives. I'm being their father, of whom they'll only have one." I liked the sentiment, and it's converse seemed valuable to me: I don't think it's fair to appreciate one's parents on how compatible they are as friends, but on the environment they provided for one's development. I'm grateful for the very secure, unquestionable assurance of personal security (food, shelter, etc was unconditionally assured), the ability to learn and grow was protected (I always had help with access to education, libraries, school, friends, but also I was sheltered from harmful exposure to things like crime, immoral situations, and from secretive underhanded behaviour), and sympathy or love was pretty much guaranteed if I had difficulties from life or people.

Parents are so awesome, especially in spite of personal incompatibilities.

 

I agree with this, but I wasn’t talking about INFJs in general but what happens when things go wrong and dominant Ni users don’t use their Ni effectively. I see this when they spend a lot of energy living in their tertiary: INFJs overthink and express things rigidly and dogmatically, INTJs with the same issue express everything coated with an inflexible moral outlook. If we are using our Ni well, then we are always open to new ideas and new possibilities and our public facing judging function will reflect that inner openness. It shares that sort of orientation with the way we use sight which is non discriminatory in the same sort of way by analogy.

 

Sharing one's introverted function content is intimate. It's not going to happen unless there's trust or anonymity.

Wanting Ni dominants to share more of that, and less Te or Fe is about YOUR preferences, not theirs. It's exceptionally easier to adjust the priorities about one's preferences, than someone else's. So if you want something and aren't getting it, there's more options to deal with the situation than simply expecting or demanding others supply what you want.

 

I wish I could live in my perceiving function sometimes. I suppose I can when I am outside travelling or in good company. But as soon as the routine kicks in (i.e I am at home) I switch back.

Ti can be quite heavy and destructive, but as a Ti user you don't even notice it. Prone to rumination and going round in circles (especially Ti-Si combo). Yes, consuming new info can help, but even that isn't always working. Fiction is probably the best option because it forces me to perceive/observe more than judge. It's such a calming and relaxing experience to just observe, I can even feel my body relax and soften.

Are INFJs living in this mode? This I cannot tell. I hope they do. I have one living with me and she is much more relaxed and easy going than me, so I assume she is not judging so much. Will ask her. What's interesting is the difference in content we consume. I mostly consume educational content, something to "engage my brain". She prefers to watch lighter content, design stuff, gaming stuff, anime stuff etc. I almost never do this. It's even hard to get into fiction, but when I do, I almost never regret it.

As a Ti dom, you have this constant "pressure" to improve, learn new things, grow. It's like having a very demanding father without a mother to tell you you are OK as you are. No time to relax and just consume, but paradoxically being in a constant Ti mode doesn't yield results over the long run. It would be more beneficial to me to be able to switch it ON and OFF, because no human deserves to be under Ti pressure 24/7 lol.