Niece Waidhofer Apology

[aeon]

Instagram star/model Niece Waidhofer recently posted this to her IG account, and I thought it worth sharing. What are your thoughts about it?

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SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOT REAL LIFE. Unless your woman has hours to spend on hair and makeup, tens of thousands of dollars to spend on elective cosmetic surgeries, and no other responsibilities demanding her time and effort, DO NOT compare her to me. If I had a real job or children to care for, I would never have the motivation to put on makeup, do my hair, etc.
This is an online persona, not real life.

 

[Asa]

I have thoughts on this (not her specifically, but this part of culture), but I will have to add them later.

 

[aeon]

I have thoughts on this (not her specifically, but this part of culture), but I will have to add them later.

I do as well, but I thought I’d share them after others had done so. I didn’t want to bias any responses.

Cheers,
Ian

 

[Wyote]

lol "now that I'm super rich and comfortable in my life, I'd like to apologize..."

We all cast illusions of various kinds in order to gain some advantages.
Can't help but feel like this "apology" is just another one of those in a different form.

I've seen people today using filters instead of surgery and makeup (and/or along with).
It's pretty wild, the avatars of ourselves we create are only getting more nuanced.

Best you can do is learn to see through these illusions and/or use them to your own advantage.

 

[Asa]

Is this sincere, a scheme, or a mixture of both? <rhetorical> It seems like both to me. Underneath is all, she likely wants to be liked for who she really is because that is the default setting of most humans. I'm not going to say anything bad about her either way because this is indicative of a huge problem for women in current society. I looked at her feed. She didn't change anything. She is using the same lighting tricks and posing she used before. She also must know she is a beautiful woman whether she uses Facetune or not.

She is presenting a fantasy. You'd have to be extremely naive to believe she isn't touching up her photos.

The more we make our online selves into something we are not... our avatars... the more that is going to pull at our psyches.

The ship is sinking for the IG girl. People are bored with highly manipulated images and too much make-up. Yet, it persists. Even in art circles, there is a lot of commentary about how the only way you can get any attention whatsoever is by drawing/painting IG girls and yet we are all sick of seeing portrait after portrait of a certain type of girl.

Women are torn between craving authenticity and complying with beauty standards. The industry is designed to make women insecure. Insecure = $$$$$$. We buy creams, make-up, procedures, and surgery if we don't love ourselves. In this era, the prettiest young women are driven to get surgery, wear fifteen layers of make-up, and use Facetune. That has a ripple effect on all women. We must either embrace the unachievable standards (reference: Madonna) or reject the standards (reference Paulina Porizkova, Vera Wang) and receive backlash and toxicity either way. The bullying and criticism are so toxic.

I know a lot of men complain about catfishing, but make-up is not catfishing. Catfishing ruins people's lives. Make-up and Facetune only ruin a first date (for shallow people). In the past, women were never seen without their make-up and hair done, even by their husbands. This practice is returning. What difference does it make if she's always going to wear it?

I'm choosing to leave my personal experiences out of my response, at least for now.


Edit: I didn't include young examples because I think the extremes really show in older women and younger women often shift their personas back and forth.

 

[mintoots]

The industry is designed to make women insecure. Insecure = $$$$$$.

Haha, yes. Even cellphones these days are designed with powerful cameras for better (catfishing) selfies and ootd photos. The pictures in the phone cam are unshockingly intended to mislead. The whole industry is a lot like a circle jerk in a way.

 

[InfernoMink]

Even when a woman is not my type.
I always look for her most attractive feature.
I can’t help it.

 

[aeon]

Even when a woman is not my type.
I always look for her most attractive feature.
I can’t help it.

Don’t unnecessarily limit yourself. Do it for everyone. Regardless of if they are your type or not. That means men, children, and animals of all kinds.

Why? Well, I find it rewarding. Very much so.

Cheers,
Ian

 

[Sloe Djinn]

Yes you owe the internet a massive Apollo gi, and let your fluffy dog on your fur coat bear witness to your shame.

 

[wanderlustangel521]

She took her own life 2 weeks ago so this is incredibly eerie to watch now as it was clearly more than just an apology.

 

[Sloe Djinn]

She took her own life 2 weeks ago

Can't find any reference to this. Do you have a link?

 

[Lady Jolanda]

She actually looks better in the picture without makeup/filter in my opinion. In the picture with makeup/filter, she looks like a ghost.

Anyway, she's right about one thing. Don't compare yourself to her. You're all pretty in your own right.

 

[Matty]

I couldn't bring myself to watch the video. I just haven't got the patience.

However, there's two thoughts I had: 1) whoever was taken in by the girl's facade was foolish and responsible for their foolishness. 2) deceiving and taking advantage of foolish people is wrong.

I don't think there's much which can solve the general situation, but I can just hope everyone involved learns something and is a little wiser and clearer about their morals.

 

[Qui Gon Joe]

She took her own life 2 weeks ago so this is incredibly eerie to watch now as it was clearly more than just an apology.

It is true she passed away on Saturday May 14th at about 8:43am. The video is almost like a good bye to her fans. It was like she knew it was the beginning to the end. Sad to see her find no other way out then taking her life. We all make mistakes and as humans we deal with them and grow. Nevertheless, my thoughts& prayers as well as my deepest condolences to her family and friends. ️

 

[Qui Gon Joe]

Can't find any reference to this. Do you have a link?

She did take her life or she passed away. Her cousin posted an IG heartfelt message, family members posted messages on Reddit and asked for privacy during this difficult time. Also see below the Death Certificate from Montgomery County TX is being produced. She passed away a month and a day after her apologetic video. May Deniece "Niece" Waidhofer Rest in Peace in the presence of her dad who died as well a couple years ago.

 

[Sloe Djinn]

Hm, whatever the case it’s weird that two separate accounts have opened up just to say that and nothing else.

 

[slant]

I remember I was spending time with my sister and we were going to go on a hour car ride she she wanted me to put on sunscreen, and it struck me what her reason for it was:

The sun gives you wrinkles.

Not to prevent skin cancer.

I feel lucky that I've mostly been able to isolate myself from that type of thinking and most of my friends are artists who don't wear makeup, who appreciate just being yourself. And for those who body modification is their hobby or special interest, that's one thing, but it seems for a lot of people who are into it it's because of necessity.

I think aging is beautiful and I'm excited for it. I had told my sister I'm not actively trying to prevent wrinkles and she was like,

"Why???!" As if that was insane. I told her I think aging is natural and not something we need to hide. Then she started to backtrack which I felt bad about because I was not trying to shame her into being anti makeup or whatever. If she's into it, that is ok.

And I think that's what my issue with it is that we don't just let people do what they want there is a pressure to adhere to an imaginary standard. I think it can sometimes be in your head though, my sister says she gets discriminated in the workplace when she doesn't wear makeup but that's not my own experience at all. But I have never worn makeup to interviews so if people weren't going to hire me for that reason I didn't get those jobs and I'm grateful.

I don't think it's this lady's job to realistically represent herself, though. She isn't that influential... Hadn't heard about her until now. Sad that she has passed away.

 

[uuu]

whoever was taken in by the girl's facade was foolish and responsible for their foolishness

On the one hand, yes. On the other hand, a large chunk of the audience for influencers like this women consists of very young girls who are still forming their ideas about beauty standards and what sort of appearance they should try to achieve. And if looking at images of women who conform to a certain beauty standard causes girls to adopt unhealthy diet etc. habits, then we could argue that influencers should be held accountable.

But this has nothing to do with photoshop: even in a world without photoshop, the vast nature of social media would ensure that a couple of ridiculously beautiful and charismatic people rose to the top, and their perfect image could still be harmful to the impressionable. For this reason, I don't really have a particularly strong reaction to the apology either way. I take it for granted that the people I see on social media and TV are heavily photoshopped, and the idea of a celebrity apologizing about this seems more like a way for her to reconcile her cognitive dissonance (between how she looks in the mirror and how she looks on screen) than an attempt to amend a specific harm done to someone.

And despite my view that social media can, in principle, be harmful to minors, I still thing the benefits outweigh the costs and I wouldn't support a regulatory structure that requires minors to verify their age before going on YouTube or whatever.

For contrast and general interest, here is an apology video by a Korean influencer/startup founder:

I don't know all the details, but I think the scandal was that she had been a really aggressive boss, yelling at her employees etc. The thing about this apology too is that it is very devoid of specifics; you can tell that she is sorry, but she doesn't say exactly what for. But I don't take the strict view that says that a "valid" apology has to follow the formula of "I acknowledge the harm I have done, namely xyz, and I take full responsibility …" because sometimes an apology is due in the moment but it takes months or even years of reflection to understand why your actions were hurtful to the other party.

 

[aeon]

On the one hand, yes. On the other hand, a large chunk of the audience for influencers like this women consists of very young girls who are still forming their ideas about beauty standards and what sort of appearance they should try to achieve. And if looking at images of women who conform to a certain beauty standard causes girls to adopt unhealthy diet etc. habits, then we could argue that influencers should be held accountable.

But this has nothing to do with photoshop: even in a world without photoshop, the vast nature of social media would ensure that a couple of ridiculously beautiful and charismatic people rose to the top, and their perfect image could still be harmful to the impressionable. For this reason, I don't really have a particularly strong reaction to the apology either way. I take it for granted that the people I see on social media and TV are heavily photoshopped, and the idea of a celebrity apologizing about this seems more like a way for her to reconcile her cognitive dissonance (between how she looks in the mirror and how she looks on screen) than an attempt to amend a specific harm done to someone.

And despite my view that social media can, in principle, be harmful to minors, I still thing the benefits outweigh the costs and I wouldn't support a regulatory structure that requires minors to verify their age before going on YouTube or whatever.

Insightful and fully agreed.

Cheers,
Ian