Negative emotions in the work place

[JRRdz]

I am looking for advice on how to manage feelings in the work place. At work I can feel the anger, fear, frustration, and anxiety of others around me. This makes me a strong motivational leader as I can notice them and address them as needed. This has even earned me a good reputation as a turnaround agent. The downside is that it exhaust me and sometimes it overwhelms me. This is a risk that I want to manage better as I can’t hide my body language and I can unintentionally reflect other emotions making situations worse. For example, I have walked out of meetings as the negative emotions already in the room were overwhelming my own ability to internalize and control my temper. Having a good family life with plenty of positive emotions helps me as it recharges my capacity to internalize other emotions, but this does not work on business trips or long days at the office when I do not get to spend enough time with my family. I have noticed that I even select lunch restaurant based on the positive emotions of the staff as it helps me re-charge.

Any advice?

 

[Nixie]

Being highly empathic will probably be an asset when dealing with people one on one. I can see the issue when part of the larger crowd.


Edit: (While in a large meeting) Perhaps engaging in some sort of mental activity / writing down things / some (small) Sensor or Thinker orientated activity will force you out of your negative space.

 

[Brodskizzle]

I agree with Stormy, at least to some extent. I think you definitely have a gift for human interaction but seem very unhappy in big groups. It's really best for you as an INFJ to just focus on one-on-ones. It's what we do best, and I think that if you focus almost all of your energy on that type of interaction, you'll be much more happy and much more effective.

 

[MindYourHead]

I am looking for advice on how to manage feelings in the work place. At work I can feel the anger, fear, frustration, and anxiety of others around me.

Just curious. What's at the root of all these feelings employees have at your workplace?
I agree with the others, that if it is at all possible to limit your exposure to the large groups you can better manage your feelings.

I remember a few years ago when the company I work for was downsizing it's staff. There was a bad aura in the building that you could cut with a knife. Everyone had a dark cloud hanging over them wondering if when they saw the CEO, if he was coming to take them away to the gallows.
(He didn't help matters by looking over the production floor as if he was saying to himself, "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, who is the next to get let go"?)
I had to detach myself the best I could from the empathy I was feeling, or else I just felt sick to my stomach and couldn't concentrate. Fortunately, being in the customer end of the business I had them to focus on.

I wish I could provide a better answer, as I always want to fix things.

 

[Vict]

I focus on work and encourage (tell) others to do the same. People can get emotionally charged in the workplace but it shouldn't detract from productivity.

 

[acd]

That really sucks.
It sounds like it has a pretty bad culture there.. probably from horrible communication.
Maybe it's just bad employees who work there.. or maybe they actually have a reason to be frustrated and angry all the time.
I think you should evaluate the big picture, and that is why is everyone so miserable? Instead of just learning to cope with being surrounded by misery.




On a personal note,
The job I'm at now seems like most people are unhappy.. and rude and unfriendly.. and gossipy. I don't quite understand what everyone is so upset about.. (Granted, I've only been there three months)
The compensation is generous, and the benefits are good.. but people just have HORRIBLE attitudes there.

My organization has hired a communications consultant to come in and do all this qualitative and quantitative research on company communication.. and then try to adjust based on their findings..
We just had to go to a mandatory workshop last month about "Going below the line or victim mentality" in the workplace.. and how to overcome it.
It has had zero effect.

 

[JRRdz]

Thank you all for the kind advice. Let me clarify my question a little bit, but first some background.

I am usually in emotionally charged situation as I am very good at resolving them. I have focused my career at turning around technical departments and companies. This means that at the start of my assignments there are very strong negative emotions, but I am able to turn them into positive emotions by the time that I am done. The fact that I am feel the emotions in the room let me address them fairly effectively, the challenge is that it drains me of energy. I am good at one on one communication, but I have also learned to improve the emotions in a room full of persons. For example, I was able to turn anger into empowerment on a room of 200 skilled technicians.

The challenge is with regards to the energy drain that I get from other persons negative emotions. When I am rested I can tackle strong negative emotions in a large crowd, but when I am tired a single morose person can take me down. This is dangerous on two fronts: First lack of energy leads to technical mistakes. Second, I may not have the energy to avoid being overwhelmed and reflect negative feelings back. For additional clarification: bullies, and victims drain me more than the average person.

I have a good example that may help. I went on a week long meeting with 20 excecutives to resolve some core problems in a coorporation. The room had bullies that pushed their personal agenda, victims that were very afraid of any decisions, and a couple of persons including me that worked hard to move the meeting forward. Each four hour seccion (3 per day) will drain my energy and I will have to push myself hard to stay possitive. I will go to the lobby during the breaks and sit close to this charming barista with a million dollar smile. Just sitting there was enough to re-charge my energy. One day I used the break to negotiate a compromise; this let me so drained that I passed out in the hotel room at the end of the day.

This brings me to my clarified question: Is there a way to actively engage and read other persons emotions while preventing their negative emotions from draining my own energy?

Sincerely,
Me

 

[Nixie]

Well the looney crystal chanting answer is thus: You can shield yourself from the negative energy but it will impede your ability to read it without some serious practice. You can not shield yourself and actively sift through the emotional subcontext but it does come at a price. You should learn to recognize what is yours and what is theirs. I think perhaps you have the mistaken idea that you should be using your own energy to affect change. That is only a temporary fix and not condusive for long term change. Helping other people resolve emotional conflict/angst has to be about them seeing the change and doing it for themselves. It is like sinking your energy into a bottomless pit to try and change someone rather than let them see change is possible.