My horrible INFJ boss

[noisebloom]

INFJs are the worst

 

[Misadventure]

INFJs are the worst

they are either your salvation or your downfall, nothing in between.

 

[Wyote]

INFJs are the worst

they are either your salvation or your downfall, nothing in between.

 

[JennyDaniella]

 

[heartcore]

1. Emotional expressions. It annoyed me to no end that my boss had a seemingly infinite number of facial expressions but there was no real discernible way to interpret what they meant. There would be moments when I would try to explain something to her and she would just stare at me with facial expression that was just completely unreadable. It also annoyed me that she could change her emotional expression so rapidly, as if she was living from feeling to feeling.

I don't think I ever do that, but maybe I just don't realize it myself. No one ever complains to me about that or react negatively about my emotional expressions. Some friends teased me maybe once or twice jokingly that I look quite flirty and overly attentive, but that's about it.

2. Passive aggressive behavior. Another thing that drove me nuts was that my supervisor would never mention when we weren't doing things the way she wanted, apparently to avoid conflict with us, and then she would explode on one of us and make a big show of it in front of all the others and leave use feeling like crap for the whole day.

I'm an E9 and we're said to be passive aggressive, but even then I don't quite remember doing something like that. I'd rather avoid passive-aggressiveness as long as it's professionally concerned, as it would create more conflicts than facing it when it's not a big deal. I used to work as a QC personnel, and if something needs to be fixed, I'd tell my colleagues to do that right away.

3. Intolerance of task oriented people. I'm a task oriented individual and as long as you tell me what to do and the steps to do it, then I'm happy to get it done. But no, this supervisor seemed to have a great dislike of us task oriented workers and she would only tell us a couple steps and then tell us to ask her questions if we ran into any problems. Of course that often meant when she wasn't available we had to make assumptions, which often made her very angry, especially if they were wrong. But as per assertion 2, we wouldn't hear about it until later.

Not relatable to be honest. If those working under me know how to think and work on their own, I'd be like "thank god" lol.

4. Revisionist. I was astonished to see that my supervisor actually remembered things differently than everyone else. If she made a mistake, then after the fact, she would remember a different accounting of what happened than everyone else, in which she was not responsible for the mistake.

Sounds like a mild case of narcissism to me, her never remembering on the same accounting of others', for example.

5. Excessive care to detail. This supervisor created rules like "no incomplete sentences on paperwork" which continues to blow my mind since they were beyond and above what was necessary and added tedium to the work.

Sounds like Si to me. INFJs usually aren't that attentive to detail. Paperwork always makes me feel like tearing my hair out in frustration.

That being said, not every INFJs are the same. All xxFJs are more likely than any other types to be the product of their environment.

 

[Midnight Harlequin]

Not too long ago I had an INFJ supervisor. We discussed MBTI and she mentioned to me that she was an INFJ, although I had suspected that long before it was ever mentioned.

I bring her up for two reasons. One is that she was the first INFJ I had ever had real prolonged contact with in the real world. Second, I disliked her a great deal.

To put my regular disclaimer on, I don't expect that I can generalize my interactions with her to every INFJ. However, these were the following issues I had with her which I would love to discuss here.

1. Emotional expressions. It annoyed me to no end that my boss had a seemingly infinite number of facial expressions but there was no real discernible way to interpret what they meant. There would be moments when I would try to explain something to her and she would just stare at me with facial expression that was just completely unreadable. It also annoyed me that she could change her emotional expression so rapidly, as if she was living from feeling to feeling.

2. Passive aggressive behavior. Another thing that drove me nuts was that my supervisor would never mention when we weren't doing things the way she wanted, apparently to avoid conflict with us, and then she would explode on one of us and make a big show of it in front of all the others and leave use feeling like crap for the whole day.

3. Intolerance of task oriented people. I'm a task oriented individual and as long as you tell me what to do and the steps to do it, then I'm happy to get it done. But no, this supervisor seemed to have a great dislike of us task oriented workers and she would only tell us a couple steps and then tell us to ask her questions if we ran into any problems. Of course that often meant when she wasn't available we had to make assumptions, which often made her very angry, especially if they were wrong. But as per assertion 2, we wouldn't hear about it until later.

4. Revisionist. I was astonished to see that my supervisor actually remembered things differently than everyone else. If she made a mistake, then after the fact, she would remember a different accounting of what happened than everyone else, in which she was not responsible for the mistake.

5. Excessive care to detail. This supervisor created rules like "no incomplete sentences on paperwork" which continues to blow my mind since they were beyond and above what was necessary and added tedium to the work.

Those were just a few. So do you any of you see some of those traits in yourself? If you do, can you explain why? WHY?

1. There are 3 sides to every story: your side, her side and the truth.
2. During any interaction which is questionable, I activate poker face or smiley face. *Warning smiles do not disarm during conflict and cause aggression.
3. In my experience, ALL INFJ's are different.... We are just people, good bad and ugly.
4. Passive aggressive is what happens when we <and by we I mean in my experience> try to control our strong emotions and fail because there is no outlet or release/ large amounts of stress.
5. I don't think it's a task oriented people thing... Most bosses get upset if you screw up... If you have questions put that task aside until your question are answered and work on something else. This sounds like you felt picked on.
6. Revisionist... I plead the 5th on this one. However, in politics it's called guiding the narrative...
7. Your getting paid to do the job your boss wants. I don't think this is INFJ exclusive...
8. Conclusion: I don't think these traits are INFJ exclusive... I think anyone can have these traits in any combination... But I could be wrong.

 

[Midnight Harlequin]

they are either your salvation or your downfall, nothing in between.

From our perspective... It goes, your either our best friend or our worst enemy and you will be treated accordingly. There are usually good reasons for both and everything in between is just small talk... So yeah nothing in between.