Motherhood
- Thread starter Gaze
- Start date
In saying something entirely new, part of me wishes this era we live in was less mobile. So many of us live far away from our families and extended families. There is a lost sense of tradition in growing up and parenting away from other familial influences. I have this dream of living someday on 100 acres of land and building a family compound ... where we all live and share our lives together. Funny, because that is the same tradition our ancestors (at least most of them) ran from at some point. I am jealous of my cousins and their families who still live within 30 miles of each other ... and live on the same lands lived by our great-great-great-grandparents.
I was never close to grandparents or other extended family. I saw them maybe once a year in my childhood. I'm so fortunate my children have had the closeness with my inlaws. I see how the relationship with grandparents helps to shape them in a positive way.
I was never close to grandparents or other extended family. I saw them maybe once a year in my childhood. I'm so fortunate my children have had the closeness with my inlaws. I see how the relationship with grandparents helps to shape them in a positive way.
It most definitely does, because grandparents (in my children's case anyway) do not have to/want to/even have the faintest desire to do any discipline whatsoever, they simply spoil grandkids rotten and grant their every whim!
Which is a good thing for all parties concerned. Every child needs some of that, as well as some discipline. I was lucky to have that with my grandmother.I love being a mom and I love kids. Nevertheless, the most challenging thing is, motherhood (or indeed parenthood) is a full-time, difficult job with no pay and little respect. I agree with Sriracha that the distance from extended family/community is a problem in our modern, transitory lives, but one that can be overcome. I like the compound idea! :nod: Except that sometimes there are relatives I'd just as soon not share my life with... :/
What I would change if I could is I would outlaw sibling rivalry, eliminate the need for saying "no", and ban norovirus. Unfortunately, all those are a part of being a parent and they are not the most fun parts, to say the least.
being a mother is the most important, demanding, challenging, and stressful job on this planet.
anyone who would disagree is either living under a rock or has never raised children.
the most interesting thing for me was watching them become individuals, watching them develop their own personalities, preferences, attitudes and opinions about the world around them.
i would change so many things if i could go back, none of which are relevant now. my children became adults and had their own children. i now focus on not making those same mistakes with my grandchildren.
my biggest concern regarding my grandchildren is drugs and violence.
so much violence and so many lost young people now. my oldest granddaughter is soon to be 16. she just got her driver's license and i'm scared shitless! she is no longer the little girl who called me grammapajama. (actually she still does from time to time, especially if she's trying to butter me up for something lol)
I find that from growing up around my grandparents I was able to receive some good habits, but also some learned negative habits. One set of grandparents was very moral and supportive. The other set of grandparents had a very dysfunctional relationship, and unhealthy habits such as over-eating, smoking cigarettes, sleeping in all day, being bossy and demanding. My boyfriend grew up with grandparents and extended family, and I envy him the freedom of being un-obligated to attend regular family gatherings, and not worrying about Christmas, etc.
I have ethical problems with the idea of bringing kids into this world. I have struggled very hard upon entering adulthood, and gone through depression, and uninspiration, and I would hate to bring kids into this world and tell them that they will always be happy and then have their dreams be destroyed.
At the same time, I was raised in a very religious home, and made to be unprepared for the world we actually lived in. Naivety made me an easy target, and if I did have kids I would try to prepare them for the realities of the world instead of sugar coating everything for them and not telling them the truth- like my parents did.
I have ethical problems with the idea of bringing kids into this world. I have struggled very hard upon entering adulthood, and gone through depression, and uninspiration, and I would hate to bring kids into this world and tell them that they will always be happy and then have their dreams be destroyed.
At the same time, I was raised in a very religious home, and made to be unprepared for the world we actually lived in. Naivety made me an easy target, and if I did have kids I would try to prepare them for the realities of the world instead of sugar coating everything for them and not telling them the truth- like my parents did.