Missing people that you were never even close to | INFJ Forum

Missing people that you were never even close to


Community Member
Jun 3, 2009
Whenever I leave somewhere, or someone else leaves, even if our friendship only went as far as 5 minute chats when there were no customers to serve, or the teacher had made us sit next to each other, or we talked a few times a year when we were checking the mail at the same time, I always end up missing them badly and perhaps exaggerating their importance in my life. I just quit a job last night; I'd expected it to feel good to have some more spare time on weekends and holidays, but now I wish I could just go back and spend some more time with the people there. I sort of have a problem getting my friendships to go beyond talking at work or school so that makes it worse, because I only ever saw them when we were both there.
It could be because you haven't developed friendship with them. I have a hard time making friends so when I am around people, I try to enjoy their company as much as I can. Having said that, you are pretty young. I wish I could go back in time and put more effort into making meaningful connections and friendships, I think as I am getting older, it would only get harder. So if this is something you are wondering about, starting at an early age would probably make it easier. :hug:
i can really relate.. for me the saddest part was not ever getting a chance to know them better, it feels like such a loss.
I always play the "what ifs" game in my head... I think about the people I was friendly with in high school and haven't seen since, and I imagine what it'll be like at our 5 year reunion (which isn't for at least 3 years). Or if I meet someone while traveling, when I get home I think about what I might've done differently, or what I will do if by some odd chance we meet again.

What sucks is I often go through the "what ifs" instead of just reconnecting with people.. But I agree with Ibtisam.. you're so young--put yourself out there a little more. You may think that people will reject you, but you never know. You might meet someone (or someones) amazing.
Getting to know people better and connect with them is a problem of mine. I can usually get just about anyone to like me. The people who I am generally drawn to, however, are usually not the sort that draw me into their close circle of friends. Once such a person does that, I usually end up with a best friend, though.

My friendships are more cordial than anything. I suppose it is this, I am unable to bring a friendship up a notch. I'm just clueless as to how to go about it.

Even when trying to connect with a woman romantically, she often has no clue that I like her, but from my perspective I'm practically groping her. I think it's a problem of my deep introversion, that when I really come out of my shell to make a connection, it just comes off as normal friendly as how everyone else is to them. They don't get how much I actually like them.
I feel this about many people - I'm guessing it is a kind of non-romantic infatuation, which would evaporate if I got to know them well.
I feel this about many people - I'm guessing it is a kind of non-romantic infatuation, which would evaporate if I got to know them well.

yeah it probably would evaporate, a lot of the people I miss aren't really that likable, but I can't help overlooking that.