Missing people that you were never even close to | INFJ Forum

Missing people that you were never even close to

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by easy_rider, Jul 31, 2010.

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  1. easy_rider

    easy_rider Community Member

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    Whenever I leave somewhere, or someone else leaves, even if our friendship only went as far as 5 minute chats when there were no customers to serve, or the teacher had made us sit next to each other, or we talked a few times a year when we were checking the mail at the same time, I always end up missing them badly and perhaps exaggerating their importance in my life. I just quit a job last night; I'd expected it to feel good to have some more spare time on weekends and holidays, but now I wish I could just go back and spend some more time with the people there. I sort of have a problem getting my friendships to go beyond talking at work or school so that makes it worse, because I only ever saw them when we were both there.
     
  2. driro

    driro Community Member

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    It could be because you haven't developed friendship with them. I have a hard time making friends so when I am around people, I try to enjoy their company as much as I can. Having said that, you are pretty young. I wish I could go back in time and put more effort into making meaningful connections and friendships, I think as I am getting older, it would only get harder. So if this is something you are wondering about, starting at an early age would probably make it easier. :hug:
     
  3. TinyBubbles

    TinyBubbles anarchist

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    i can really relate.. for me the saddest part was not ever getting a chance to know them better, it feels like such a loss.
     
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  4. freybell

    freybell Community Member

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    I always play the "what ifs" game in my head... I think about the people I was friendly with in high school and haven't seen since, and I imagine what it'll be like at our 5 year reunion (which isn't for at least 3 years). Or if I meet someone while traveling, when I get home I think about what I might've done differently, or what I will do if by some odd chance we meet again.

    What sucks is I often go through the "what ifs" instead of just reconnecting with people.. But I agree with Ibtisam.. you're so young--put yourself out there a little more. You may think that people will reject you, but you never know. You might meet someone (or someones) amazing.
     
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  5. Razare

    Razare Community Member

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    Getting to know people better and connect with them is a problem of mine. I can usually get just about anyone to like me. The people who I am generally drawn to, however, are usually not the sort that draw me into their close circle of friends. Once such a person does that, I usually end up with a best friend, though.

    My friendships are more cordial than anything. I suppose it is this, I am unable to bring a friendship up a notch. I'm just clueless as to how to go about it.

    Even when trying to connect with a woman romantically, she often has no clue that I like her, but from my perspective I'm practically groping her. I think it's a problem of my deep introversion, that when I really come out of my shell to make a connection, it just comes off as normal friendly as how everyone else is to them. They don't get how much I actually like them.
     
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  6. Flavus Aquila

    Flavus Aquila Finding My Place in the Sun
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    I feel this about many people - I'm guessing it is a kind of non-romantic infatuation, which would evaporate if I got to know them well.
     
  7. OP
    easy_rider

    easy_rider Community Member

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    yeah it probably would evaporate, a lot of the people I miss aren't really that likable, but I can't help overlooking that.
     
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