Married people or Engaged people only: What MBTI did YOU pick?

[NiennaLadyOfTears]

This is just for married or engaged people: What is the MBTI of the person that you see yourself marrying/have married?
What are the things about their type that annoy you sometimes? What was the attraction?

I'm an INFJ married to an INFP. It works for the most part but my husband is EXTREMELY emotional, I mean, nutcase emotional sometimes. However I admire how imaginative he is, and he is very romantic, actually sometimes over the top for me but it's his way of expressing love, so I let him be.

 

[Chenoa]

I'm engaged to an ISFP. I like how's he's more concrete and practical than me. He's spontaneous and likes to party and joke around most of the time, but he can definitely be serious when he wants to. He's accepting of most kinds of people as long as he thinks they're basically good and decent, and this is fine until there's a conflict between our individual values For example, we both have a mutual friend who frequently makes remarks that most people would construe as racist or just generally intolerant. I think he's some kind of narrow-minded ESFJ that makes all the other ESFJ'S look bad. Sorry, just had to get that out. Anyway, my fiance doesn't have a problem with what this friend says because both the friend and he think he's joking. But the remarks are too frequent never refer to anyone who's white simply on that basis, so it really offends me. I don't have a problem with ripping on groups, as long as all groups are included. There isn't any one group that deserves to be singled out. Sometimes he is indecisive or more cautious in making decisions, or hesitant to express an opinion whose unfavorability might lead to some kind of negative encounter, even if it's necessary. But, for the most part, we don't really have any problems which would result in us either not getting married or later getting divorced.

 

[inigo]

This is just for married or engaged people: What is the MBTI of the person that you see yourself marrying/have married?
What are the things about their type that annoy you sometimes? What was the attraction?

I'm an INFJ married to an INFP. It works for the most part but my husband is EXTREMELY emotional, I mean, nutcase emotional sometimes. However I admire how imaginative he is, and he is very romantic, actually sometimes over the top for me but it's his way of expressing love, so I let him be.

I've been married to an INTJ for 13 years. We met in college and clicked very quickly, and were sympathetic to eachothers views without having to explain them.

I don't know if she would agree with this characterization, but one of the biggest differences between her and I is that her world fits in a box that she has created. If it's in the box, she has a lot to say about it. If not, it is of little consequence to her. Some of the stuff that makes me tick at a level that penetrates the deepest parts of my soul (like music) makes little sense to her. She likes and plays music very well, but it doesn't have the same depth of meaning to her, and this aspect of my personality is mysterious and sometimes frustrating to her. On the opposite side, there are systematic matters of great importance to her in her career, and she is very driven to solve the problems she identifies in those areas, to the point where I start to say that this is not an issue worth falling on a sword for.

Those are the biggest differences, but we are definitely best friends through and through. Nobody else has ever gotten as close to me as she has and I know her in ways that I don't believe anyone in the world does, and that makes her one of the most beautiful creatures on earth to me (with my full understanding that what I am saying right here may seem goofy and over the top in her Te world). She is not naturally an emotionally expressive person (tertiary Fi), and I know the right ways to bring that out of her and make her feel comfortable in that place, though there are times when she can't be in that place, and I can't resist the urge to pour it on a little thicker than she may be comfortable with. But the wait and the payoff is part of the fun.

 

[Entyqua]

I have been married to an INTJ for 9 years.

Apathy, it really bothers me...and I try really hard to understand it but I cant. I know he loves me.

Initially it was his eyes...Cuz INTJs got the NI eyes too...the pull you in like deep wells of the soul! Then it was his humor, and the way we could tease each other so completely! Then when he let me in, and I got to know him...REALLY know him. Well? You just kinda fall!

I've been married to an INTJ for 13 years. We met in college and clicked very quickly, and were sympathetic to eachothers views without having to explain them.

I don't know if she would agree with this characterization, but one of the biggest differences between her and I is that her world fits in a box that she has created. If it's in the box, she has a lot to say about it. If not, it is of little consequence to her. Some of the stuff that makes me tick at a level that penetrates the deepest parts of my soul (like music) makes little sense to her. She likes and plays music very well, but it doesn't have the same depth of meaning to her, and this aspect of my personality is mysterious and sometimes frustrating to her. On the opposite side, there are systematic matters of great importance to her in her career, and she is very driven to solve the problems she identifies in those areas, to the point where I start to say that this is not an issue worth falling on a sword for.

Those are the biggest differences, but we are definitely best friends through and through. Nobody else has ever gotten as close to me as she has and I know her in ways that I don't believe anyone in the world does, and that makes her one of the most beautiful creatures on earth to me (with my full understanding that what I am saying right here may seem goofy and over the top in her Te world). She is not naturally an emotionally expressive person (tertiary Fi), and I know the right ways to bring that out of her and make her feel comfortable in that place, though there are times when she can't be in that place, and I can't resist the urge to pour it on a little thicker than she may be comfortable with. But the wait and the payoff is part of the fun.

Well said. I can relate much of this to my own relationship with gender reversed. Especially the first paragraph!

 

[inigo]

Then it was his humor, and the way we could tease each other so completely!

I get what you're saying here very much. At first I found her sense of humor to be a little biting and would just withdraw from it. It was like that for a few years, but with time that changed a lot. Now I give it right back to her the way she dishes it out and we really laugh our asses off. I like the way you say "completely" as there is something very complete about this interaction when we have it... it's fun, caring, and challenging eachother at the same time; and everthing weighty just seems to go away.

 

[Entyqua]

I get what you're saying here very much. At first I found her sense of humor to be a little biting and would just withdraw from it. It was like that for a few years, but with time that changed a lot. Now I give it right back to her the way she dishes it out and we really laugh our asses off. I like the way you say "completely" as there is something very complete about this interaction when we have it... it's fun, caring, and challenging eachother at the same time; and everthing weighty just seems to go away.

exactly! You get it...I had a problem for the first few years too...especially after having a baby...I was so emotional that everything hurt...I gained weight and felt all conscious about it and when he would tease it hurt...but now were are just like you said...It almost better than tickle wars (cuz he HATES that...it makes him vulnerable and we cant have that)

 

[Quinlan]

What is the MBTI of the person that you see yourself marrying/have married?

ESFJ

What are the things about their type that annoy you sometimes?

They are stereotypical women, so the usual stuff, over emotional, overly concerned with what others think, neat freaks etc. Sometimes she pushes for more Fe from me than I can give. A bit of this :drama: too.

What was the attraction?

She is awesome, so much fun. We can talk about anything and she really helps bring me out of my shell, we laugh and joke all the time. We agree on all the core stuff, we are always on that same fundamental wavelength. We only argue about insignificant stuff which is easily resolved. She is extremely kind and caring, very expressive. Totally feminine girly girl.

 

[booksncats]

INTJ. I have a thing for them apparently.

To me, I honestly feel that I could only be with someone who is both I and J. I am flexible on the N/S and T/P.

 

[christmas]

...tickle wars (cuz he HATES that...it makes him vulnerable and we cant have that)

My INTJ husband only has one spot. If I can't get to it (and I have to go into stealth mode to do it) I will lose tickle war, teehee.

Something that annoys me about him: We're in the car, (he's driving of course) and we're holding hands. It's quiet. I turn on the radio/ipod/cd, and we listen to music for a while. Finally a good song comes on and I get into it. Right when we get to the good part of the song...he starts talking about something fucking stupid. Every. time. without. fail. Aaaaarrgh!

The attraction comes from being so alike yet so completely different at the same time.

 

[Entyqua]

My INTJ husband only has one spot. If I can't get to it (and I have to go into stealth mode to do it) I will lose tickle war, teehee.

Something that annoys me about him: We're in the car, (he's driving of course) and we're holding hands. It's quiet. I turn on the radio/ipod/cd, and we listen to music for a while. Finally a good song comes on and I get into it. Right when we get to the good part of the song...he starts talking about something fucking stupid. Every. time. without. fail. Aaaaarrgh!

The attraction comes from being so alike yet so completely different at the same time.

HAHAHAH! YES so true! Mine only has one spot too, and its impossible to get to clothed...so I always loose...cuz im the uber ticklish one!

 

[Kgal]

I married an INTJ 19 years ago. I agree with the post on the eyes. He certainly has them - full of deep intensity and feeling. He actually is very intuitive when he wants to be. We have thinking logically and using the concept of "systems" in common.
What I miss in a relationship is that he thinks people are basically a waste of his time and I feel isolated. He can be cold - ice - cold. Our physcial relationship on the other hand is hot - and I admit - I like that a lot.
Would I marry another one? No.

 

[Diana]

I am an INFJ married to an INFJ for 10 years.
I can't really say there is really anything major about my husband that annoys me. Sure I might find little things annoying here and there but we communicate so well that stuff like that doesn't stay in my mind long. It is sometimes difficult when he's having a problem that I can't solve and I know I have to leave him alone. I do give him the space because I know it's how he solves problems.
Even though we are the same type we are very different and at the same time very much alike.
He's the one person in the world who truly knows me. Our relationship is always changing (for the better) and growing. I just love being around him, I love how his mind works. We are so in sync with each other it's amazing.
We are both able to assume whatever role we need to to get things done, so when life throws a challenge we work together to defeat it.
He's secure in his masculinity, and not afraid to show his emotions, yet able to control them and function in the world at the same time.
His confidence is what first attracted me and his artistic side. He knows the right things to say. He knows how to "read my mind" and explain what I mean to others. I could go on and on. He loves his children and would do anything for them. He protects us, his family above all else. I would marry him again and again lifetime after lifetime if I had the choice.

 

[Forest Dweller]

I was married to an INTx for 12 years. The quiet depth was probably the personality trait that most attracted me. However, she was also very conflicted with borderline personality disorder and some assorted other things, and the relationship ended badly.

 

[Galileo]

I'm marrying an INTJ, and I love him more than anything. the one thing that does annoy me though is that sometimes he has trouble expressing love, especially to his children. the divorce was really hard on him, and it effected that relationship. he doesn't tell his children he loves them nearly enough, but that's also an age thing.

 

[middle1]

My INTJ husband only has one spot. If I can't get to it (and I have to go into stealth mode to do it) I will lose tickle war, teehee.

Something that annoys me about him: We're in the car, (he's driving of course) and we're holding hands. It's quiet. I turn on the radio/ipod/cd, and we listen to music for a while. Finally a good song comes on and I get into it. Right when we get to the good part of the song...he starts talking about something fucking stupid. Every. time. without. fail. Aaaaarrgh!

The attraction comes from being so alike yet so completely different at the same time.

LOL christmas! I think all men do this!

 

[middle1]

I am married to an ESFJ turned INFP. The man is confused. So am I. I think he messed up the second test just to eff with me.

Anyway, he does sound more and more INFP the more I learn about them.

I don't know.

If I had been aware of the MBTI before I fell in love, I might have been more picky, I'm just saying...

It is all good.

 

[anica]

Married people or engaged people only: What MBTI did you pick?

I'm engaged to an ENFJ. I love his confidence, competence and willingness to help other people. His bossiness and verbosity on certain subjects I could do without. Most of all I love his passion and compassion. The fact that he's a born teacher is a plus as well.

 

[lucence]

i'm an INFP who was married to an ISFP. The N/F gap meant that i never felt understood, or companioned. so I won't do that again.
for future partners, I'm flexible on everything else, but the N is essential.

 

[goldfinch]

I have been married to an ISTJ for 22 years. It's not working out very well. I guess at the time the opposites attract model was in full force. Opposites may attract, but they don't last for the long haul.