Kindness | INFJ Forum

Kindness

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Jun 18, 2010
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I was told yesterday I was too kind sometimes. "I mean it's not a bad thing, But I would get a real kick out of watching you just be mean for once"

So because I love tropes so much, (I won't link you this time)

Here's how it plays out:
Smart People are mean, Dumb People are nice. Geniuses are psychotic and high-strung, idiots are nice and sweet, because ignorance is bliss. In comedy pairs the genius will smack around the idiot.

Good Is Not Dumb is the trope where a sincerely good, kind, and polite character is underestimated by others because of their kind nature.
Unlike Obfuscating Stupidity, Good Is Not Dumb does not involve any deception at all — the subject is genuinely nice and honest, but the cynicism of others lead them to misread the character as The Ditz, a Gentleman Thief, or some other gullible or deceptive archetype. After all, no one really gets through life being kind and trusting to everyone, right?

I found the thought funny. But more seriously, I can't say it isn't true that people often try to take advantage of those with milder disposition. But what good is it to be mean? don't people suffer enough as it is? We could all use a little love.

So what is too kind? can one be too kind?
 
So what is too kind? can one be too kind?

People can be judged by others as too kind.

But can one be too kind?

No.

One can only be as one is.

If that
 
One cannot be too kind, those who are not kind are in the wrong in my opinion, just because most people may be considered less kind than a few, doesn't mean they are right. "It's the way the world works." That's the worst part about their arguement. They create more hate by not being kind and getting annoyed and all those other negative emotions.
 
One cannot be too kind, those who are not kind are in the wrong in my opinion, just because most people may be considered less kind than a few, doesn't mean they are right. "It's the way the world works." That's the worst part about their arguement. They create more hate by not being kind and getting annoyed and all those other negative emotions.

That is merely logic. Kindness takes more than a logic.

Hate stems from anger. Anger is a reaction to injustice. Those who are kind are often more sensitive to injustice, and thus react more strongly. They feel anger more intensely which can extort itself into hate.

It is not enough to mean well.

I do believe myself to be a kind person. But if I allow my kindness to interfere with my judgment, I'm merely weak.
 
lol @ subtle spaceballs reference.

I've found that nice people are just as intelligent as mean people, they simply don't stand out as much unfortunately.
 
That is merely logic. Kindness takes more than a logic.

Hate stems from anger. Anger is a reaction to injustice. Those who are kind are often more sensitive to injustice, and thus react more strongly. They feel anger more intensely which can extort itself into hate.

It is not enough to mean well.

I do believe myself to be a kind person. But if I allow my kindness to interfere with my judgment, I'm merely weak.

That last part I agree with.

The part that is highlighted is what I used to be like, I was merely getting angry and feeling hatred for many many things. I try to be mindful of myself all the time now, I feel the emotion as it rises and I observe it, I figure out why I am angry and I begin to question everything, I know hatred and anger are negative emotions so I question them. It's helped me avoid pointless anger and hatred many times. And many other negative emotions. I don't believe people who are always kind to be weak though, because It takes a LOT of effort to remain kind and loving in bad situations. It can have it's downfalls though ofcourse. But if they remain strong and they are not simply forcing the good emotion to get rid of the bad, then I don't see anything wrong with it.

But what good is it to be mean? don't people suffer enough as it is? We could all use a little love.
Being mean can get you to places in life. Not the best way of doing it, but it happens. And people enjoy being mean, it's a great sadistic feeling. Ofcourse it's a matter of how you percieve it to be.
 
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From what I have seen, basic kindness gets one much farther than being mean in the long term.
 
That last part I agree with.

The part that is highlighted is what I used to be like, I was merely getting angry and feeling hatred for many many things. I try to be mindful of myself all the time now, I feel the emotion as it rises and I observe it, I figure out why I am angry and I begin to question everything, I know hatred and anger are negative emotions so I question them. It's helped me avoid pointless anger and hatred many times. And many other negative emotions. I don't believe people who are always kind to be weak though, because It takes a LOT of effort to remain kind and loving in bad situations. It can have it's downfalls though ofcourse. But if they remain strong and they are not simply forcing the good emotion to get rid of the bad, then I don't see anything wrong with it.

Being mean can get you to places in life. Not the best way of doing it, but it happens. And people enjoy being mean, it's a great sadistic feeling. Ofcourse it's a matter of how you percieve it to be.

Interesting topic.

First of all, in terms of negative emotions I tend to believe in the 'Star Wars way'. Hatred stems from anger that's right. But I believe anger stems from the situation in which you are actually unable to control things you want to control i. e. making them your own, ruling them. Be it a woman, a political situation, an outcome of a juridical decision, etc.

And those who are kind are often more sensitive to emotions.

I think those you are kind can often burst out in rage because of that.

I am related to this in the way that I usually manage to supress hate in myself so to the outside I'm often as kind as ever when I'm actually exploding beneath my skin. I know it's wrong; you have to vent your frustration one way or another. If I don't it will eventually kill me through psychosomatic diseases. I mentioned in another topic of two sudden madness of yelling and screaming on the streets in the middle of the night.

I guess that was a very very intense vent of frustration.

It's a very good topic, thank you, it really made me think it over again.
 
That is merely logic. Kindness takes more than a logic.

Are you sure you're a T?

Anger is a reaction to injustice.

Justice is so subjective. And anger stems from a lot of other things too. I'm angry because I got an 82% on my psych test last week. Was that unjust? No, because it was multiple choice.

And some people don't give a rats ass about injustice. Some people get angry because they don't get what they want.
 
Kindness is a form of intelligence.

You can be too kind, like if you can't say no, are too selfless, etc. But most of the time it's just lack of confidence.
 
some people will appreciate your kindness, but others will snort it up like cocaine. it's wasteful to be indiscriminately kind. it's not always what is called for or best for the situation.
 
True kindness is so fascinating.
Almost magnetic.
Characters possessing it have a certain...
Density.
A field of gravity.
Which draws others in.

There is a difference between this altruism.
And the meek consent generated by fear.
Fear of disappointment.
The desperation to be appreciated.

Giving for attention reeks of selfishness.
And weakness.
It demands to be exploited.

True kindness is rooted in wisdom.
And an eye for the future.
A sense of connection, one which transcends pity.
 
Are you sure you're a T?
Thinking is a preference.

Logic is a human construct. While emotions can be explained using logic. Emotions themselves need not be explained to be felt.

kindness is both a behavior and psycological state.

Kindness is more than logic.
 
I think it depends on how you look at it.

People will often say that I'm too kind because I will do things for people I don't know all that well and I can never be certain that I will be repayed that kindness.

But that's not why I do things, I do things because in my mind it's the right thing to do and I want to do it.


That said, kindness involves cruelty sometimes, to make a person aware of what they are doing to others. I am not kind to the point where I will allow others to take advantage of me...usually.
 
I was told yesterday I was too kind sometimes. "I mean it's not a bad thing, But I would get a real kick out of watching you just be mean for once"

I found the thought funny. But more seriously, I can't say it isn't true that people often try to take advantage of those with milder disposition. But what good is it to be mean? don't people suffer enough as it is? We could all use a little love.

So what is too kind? can one be too kind?
Aww, Good is Dumb.

Related to THAT trope, actually; I personally believe (and feel free to disagree with me) that one can NEVER be too kind, but one can be....dumb about it. Without proper judgment, people can bring someone else down with kindness. Without prudence, hell is paved with good intentions.

Good is not dumb, but Good can be dumb. :|

And no, being mean does not solve the problem. While it may lead to the same outcome (respect, or friendship, or whatever), it involves different things compared to kindness.

My observation so far seems to be that when people complained about others being too kind, it's rarely the kindness aspect itself that they're complaining. It's either an implication of being weak / meek, or inability to hold on yourself...